10 REASONS WHY THIS GUY WOULD HATE TO BE ASIAN

Most of you who actually know me, know that I'm a pretty laid back guy with a really good sense of humor. It really takes a lot to piss me off. I can even take some Asian ball busting every now and then because I can dish out the racial jokes better than anyone. That's until today! I just watched this four and a half minute video posted by some moron from Indiana named Samuel Hendrickson, who decided to blast off his 'top ten' reasons why he'd hate to be Asian. Okay, I can rattle off my 'top ten' reasons why I hate being Asian myself, but they don't measure up to the way this kid put it. In fact, after watching this clip, I kind of want to drive to Indiana to find this kid and use my Kung Fu to kick his Caucasian ass all of over the South Bend! Hey, by the way, Hendrickson! If you haven't noticed in the word Caucasian, you already are Asian, you prick! You're a Cock-Asian! 

Anyway, Hendrickson, who wears a Notre Dame shirt in the video, though the University refuses to claim him as one of theirs, has sparked outrage with his almost five-minute video clip, but says that his video is "totally not racist." The funny thing is that the Asians weren't the only ones outraged by this. It was all races who were outraged by this video because it was pretty offensive. If this kid was doing this for laughs, I'm still not sure at what point, he wanted the laughs to come out. In analyzing this video for my Buzzkill Rambling, I'd like to do a side my side analysis of his top ten list to myself since I am of Asian descent. 

 Reason #1-"Most Asians look alike" = Do I look like any other Asian you know? I've never seen another Asian who looked like me. In fact, most people think I'm American Indian or something. Besides, you can make that comment about any race, because sometimes I feel black people look alike, so do Mexicans, and there are some Caucasians who actually look alike. 

Reason #2 - "If I was an Asian man, chances are I would be with an Asian woman. I just don't find Asian women that attractive....Kill Me!" = Wrong again, idiot! I'm engaged to a beautiful white woman! Most of us Asians are second or third generation in this country already and are not dating within our race, you dummy! Look at my family alone, I think that two of my cousins might've married Chinese. The rest are all mixed couples. So, again, Mr. Hendrickson, you sound like a complete fool!

Reason #3 -  "Sweatshops" = Um, what? What the hell do sweatshops have to do with anything? Many of them have been closed down and if you think that the Asians were the only ones who ran sweatshops, you seriously know nothing!

Reason #4 - "Pot Smoking" = I know many Asians who smoke pot! I've never touched the stuff, but do their eyes get smaller? Hell yeah! Is it funny? Hell yeah! When people who aren't Asian smoke pot, it just brings them down to our eye level! Why is this reason to hate being Asian? Once again.....Moron!

Reason #5 - "Math" = This is the biggest stereotype, you idiot! Personally, I am pretty good at math, but there are a lot of Asians that I know who aren't. There are also a lot of Caucasians and Blacks that I know are really good at math. You are making yourself sound more and more ignorant with every reason, Hendrickson.

 Reason #6 - "Show Business (Kung Fu or an Asian Mobster)" = I want to kill this kid already! Dude! I've been playing bass guitar in many rock bands for a better part of 20 years! Last I checked, music was also considered show business! I'm not a Chinese mobster nor do I really know Kung Fu, you ass! 

Reason #7 - "Being Short" = This is one of my favorite reasons because this dickhead says he's 5'11" and towers over Asians and looks down on them and says "Told you so!" Well, you know what, Hendrickson? I'm 6'2"! How about I come up to Indiana and look down on you while I'm stomping my size 11 boot on your f**king head? 5'11"? That's tall?

Reason #8 - "Sushi" = How can anybody hate Sushi? Unless, you’re allergic to fish, how can you hate it? This kid is just absolutely dumb! Not to mention Sushi is Japanese and not an all-Asian thing, and everybody, and I mean everybody, eats sushi! I feel like I need to add "You Moron" at the end of every one of my retorts. 

Reason #9 - "Asian males don't have a good rep in the bedroom and have small penises" = Well, Hendrickson, I'm willing to drive up to Indiana to pull my penis out in front of you to show you that my penis is twice the size of yours! I'll put a challenge out to you, Hendrickson, if my penis is bigger than yours, then you have to let me leave a mushroom tattoo on your forehead as punishment or vice-versa. That's how confident I am about proving that stereotype wrong! Plus, I really want to kick your ass right now anyway!

Reason #10 - "They blur their porn" = Am I the only one who's never heard of this? My band mates joked about this too, but I've never seen that. This might be the only reason I agree with you on Hendrickson, but I feel like your reaching here as to making this a reason not to be Asian because I watch all porn. I actually don't watch Asian porn at all. So, I guess wrong again!

 This dumb video was originally posted on Facebook, but was re-posted on YouTube out of disgust. Hendrickson was slammed by thousands of social media users calling him a "moron", "ignorant", and "a loser". The video went viral on Thursday, so he decided to Tweet an apology, which read, "Well, I'm hated by the entire Asian race apparently over a joke #bummer." Yeah, this joke was so hilarious, I'm still laughing! The only joke here is how dumb you sound! After many thought that his apology was less than sincere, he took to Twitter again, this time Tweeting, "I am honestly very, very sorry. I will take on your hate words, but I would like you to know, that I know that I was wrong. #imsorry." I'm not sure about you, but this apology still doesn't do it for me! I want to see another video stating the 'top ten' reasons why he's a sorry douchebag! Then, I will be satisfied! Check out the video below and see if you can even make it through the first two-minutes: