WHEN THE LION KING ATTACKS

Can you imagine having sex in the jungle and right in the middle of your romp, you're rump gets a huge chunk bitten out of it by a lion? Well, that's what happened in Zimbabwe, southern Africa! First of all, who in their right minds would ever think of having sex in a jungle? I get nervous enough just having it in a park-n-ride. Anyway, a romantic encounter in a Zimbabwean bush turned deadly this week when a lion attacked and killed a Kariba woman during the couple's sexual encounter. 

Apparently, the king of the jungle pounced and mauled Sharai Mawera to death, while the unidentified boyfriend fled with no clothes on. One source told a news outlet that the lion came from behind and roared, the guy managed to escape but stopped far enough away to be safe as he watched his companion being attacked. He supposedly later rushed to the road seeking help. Passersby in a lakeshore town nearby ignored the naked man's pleas for help fearing he was mentally ill. When he was finally taken seriously, wildlife officials responded and fired off a single shot to scare of the lion, but they were too late the woman was already dead. 

The woman, who was also known as Mai Desire (Ha Ha! Get it?), was mauled to death by the lion, but her boyfriend managed to escape wearing nothing but the condom still on his penis. According to another source, the couple was having their quality time near Mahombekombec Primary School. Okay, so not only were these guys having sex in the bushes, they were doing it by an elementary school? What is wrong with people? I guess we're screwed up all over the world. Oh, yeah! An arm and a few remnants of a second corpse were found later by a crew of rangers hunting for the lions. 

It's still unclear if the offending lion was killed but according to another source, seven lions had been seen in the Kariba area and appear to be responsible for a total of three deaths this week. According to the news outlets in South Africa, residents are living in fear as the lions continue to roam Kariba, a tourist area known for nearby safari trips and lake recreation. Now, I've never been to Africa, but I'm wondering, do lions roam the residential areas like deer or bears do in our neck of the woods? If so, can you imagine having sex in the woods, which I wouldn't recommend because of ticks and chiggers, but can you imagine getting all into it and then being mauled by a bear? What a terrible way to go! My favorite part of this story was that the boyfriend ran away naked still wearing the condom! Now, that's scared!