THE GREAT JERK-OFF!!!....MASTURBATE-A-THON 2013 IS HERE!!!!

 One of my best buds, Scotty O, sent me this story yesterday afternoon and I couldn't believe what I was reading! Someone had actually organized a fundraiser for something that my friends and I used to have contests for just for fun. I'm talking about Masturbate-A-Thon 2013 and if you haven't started yet, you better get pumping because you're already a couple of days behind. Anyway, the story that Scotty sent me was that Philadelphia, the city that is not too far from where I'm living these days is celebrating National Masturbation Month with Masturbate-A-Thon 2013. First of all, when did they deem the month of May "National Masturbation Month"? Do I live under a rock or something?

Apparently, back in May 1995, a San Francisco based sex toy shop called Good Vibrations (love it!) declared May to be "Masturbation Month". Since then, they've encouraged people to get sponsors as a fundraiser for charities with a sex-positive focus. In 1999, the Masturbate-A-Thon was originated by the collective Open Enterprises, which operates Good Vibrations, and the slogan "Come for a Cause" was coined by Rachel Venning, the founder of the sex toy shop Babeland, formerly Toy in Babeland, which branches in Seattle, Brooklyn and two in Manhattan. The annual events are used as a public-health-education device to increase awareness of self-pleasure as a strategy for safer and healthier sex to de-stigmatize self-love.

 

The fundraiser is actually a "stroke" of genius! Philadelphia's first Masturbate-A-Thon began this past Wednesday (5/1) to mark the beginning of National Masturbation Month and won't finish until May 27. Apparently, those who are participating are pretty excited, so stay away! Sponsors can donate money for every hour participators spend spanking their shank. All proceeds go to local sex education groups in the area like ScrewSmart and Pleasure Rush!

If you'd like to participate in the fundraising aspect of this event, you need to log onto Crowdrise.com. Throughout the event, the site hopes to ignite conversations that reduce the stigma around expressing sexuality, promote sexual health, and emphasize the importance of pleasure. On May 30, a few days after the even ends, everyone involved is invited to attend, and I don't know why they decided to call it this, "Creamium", which will be a game show and dance party where prizes will be handed out for "Most Creative Fantasy", "Most Pleasure Connections" and "Most Money Raised". 

What the article forgot to mention was some of the other awards, which includes some World Record holders during their Masturbate-A-Thon! The "Longest Time Spent Masturbating" world record was broken last year by porn star Sonny Nash, who pleasured himself for an impressive 10 hours and 10 minutes last May. That's it? I mean, um....Wow! That's a lot of money he raised! There were other categories too like "Longest Time Masturbating a Male co-worker"...um, what?...."Most Orgasms/Male and Female" and my favorite, "Men's Distance Record". I know that this might be a little T.M.I., but if a guy can go a month without masturbating or having sex, he might be able to beat the record of shooting it 5 feet 4 inches. I know I sure as hell would have a good chance! This is crazy! Anyway, if you act now, you should be able to catch up in the Masturbate-A-Thon! I'm already two in the hole! T.M.I?