About This Blog....

Welcome to a blog that has become home of the stupid....And what I think about their stupidity.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014


I read this story this morning and am literally in tears. Don't worry, they aren't tears of sorrow. They are tears from laughing my ass off! Just a warning, you may have to stop reading this blog a few times because you will not believe what you're about to read. 

Anyway, this is Maria Montenez-Colon from Punta Gorda, Florida. She was recently arrested after calling 911 twice in one evening. Why did she call 911? Well, she called describing herself as "horny" and summoned a police officer to her home and tried to have sex with him, while pleading, "I haven't been penetrated in years!" I'll give you a second to catch your breath. 

Montenez-Colon was arrested on Friday for her misuse of 911. First, the officer drove to the 58-year-old's home in Punta Gorda after she reportedly told a dispatcher that she wanted her late husband's Corvette back after giving it to her son, but it appeared that she really wanted to satisfy her lust for a man in uniform. The officer said that Montenez-Colon was wasted when he arrived and immediately started making sexually suggestive comments such as "You are so sexy" and "Are you married?" But apparently, she saved the most lascivious comment for when he asked how he could help her. According to the report, she responded with, "You can f**k me."  I'll give you another second to breath. I mean, isn't this the same lady who killed Selena? 

Montenez-Colon allegedly grabbed the officer's...arm and tried to rub her hands across his chest so he told her that her behavior was inappropriate. She replied, "I'm a bad girl, I know." I'm still laughing as I write this. Before leaving the officer gave Montenez-Colon his business card and advised her to call the police department through a non-emergency line for non-emergencies. Disregarding his advice, Montenez-Colon dialed 911 once again to say the last officer they sent "pissed her off" and asked to see another. 

The original officer that she wanted to bang returned with a second officer. She must've thought she was about to have a threesome! Anyway, she explained that she called 911 again because their first encounter infuriated her. She told the second officer, "He was a perfect gentleman, but I asked him to f**k me, he turned me down so that made me angry." The original officer asked Montenez-Colon if she remembered their conversation about not using 911 in non-emergency situations. She allegedly answered, "I do, but how else am I going to get you to f**k me?" This lady is too much! She was arrested, handcuffed and booked at Charlotte County Jail. I swear that this might be the funniest story that I've heard in a while. I do have to ask, though; Would the circumstances been different if the woman a hot, fitness model-type? Would the officer have obliged her request? Just a thought. 

No comments:

Post a Comment