HOT TUB SEX MACHINE

     I saw this story yesterday, but that mother leaving her kids in the car to blow her boyfriend trumped this story, but since it's a slow news day, I'll share this with you today. So, an Arizona man and two women were recently arrested on public sex charges after they were busted in the middle of a threesome sex romp in an apartment complex hot tub. 

     30-year-old Anthony Vechiola and his girlfriend, 28-year-old Gina Marie Rayner and 29-year-old Jennifer Duchnowski continued to have sex after cops told them to stop in the public spa at the Peoria complex this past Sunday night. I mean, if you were in the middle of threesome, guys; would you be able to stop in the heat of passion? Cops or no cops. The officers, who were called to the scene by a neighbor who reported a small child wandering around the Grey Star Sierra Apartments and calling for his "mommy," had to try to stop the sexcapades by physically pulling them apart like dogs in heat.  

     As police questioned the love trio, who were apparently intoxicated, an officer heard the 5-year-old boy calling for his mother. Police later identified the child as Rayner's and found her 3-year-old son alone in Vechiola's apartment. So, once again, child abandonment to have a threesome in a public hot tub. Rayner was booked on an additional count of suspicion of abuse for leaving her children alone in the apartment. Rayner and Vechiola were ordered to be held in lieu of $2,100 bond after they were arraigned on Monday. Duchnowski was released on her own recognizance. I have to be honest; the only thing that I can see that they did wrong is that they left the child alone in the apartment while they went to bang in the public hot tub. I don't even think the public lewdness in the hot tub was a bad thing. Personally, I wished somebody recorded it. I mean besides the kid screaming "mommy" in the background, this sounded like just a bad porno.

THIS "BLOWS" ME AWAY!

Princess Marks

     The latest fad seems to be parents leaving their kids or pets in their extremely hot cars, while they ran an errand. Why do these people have kids or own pets? Then again, when my sister and I were kids, I remember my parents leaving us in the car while they ran into the supermarket or something. Back then I didn't think anything of it. Are children that delicate today that you can't even spank them out of discipline or leave them in a car for 15 minutes? Then again, if it's hot as hell in the car, why would you even leave a child in car, which can sometimes feel like an oven on hot sunny days? 

     Anyway, two Louisiana women were arrested in separate incidents on the same day for abandoning their children in their cars, so they could partake in the joys of shopping and fellatio. I'm a big fan of the latter! 25-year-old Princess Marks of Lake Charles, Louisiana, left her 5-year-old and 7-year-old in an SUV, so she could perform oral sex on her boyfriend at about 12:40 am on Friday morning. Well, at least, it wasn't steaming hot out and the kids weren't cooking in the car. According to one of the officers at the scene, "Both of them were crying hysterically. While the deputies were trying to calm the children down, Princess walked up about 15 minutes later." This is were she openly admitted that she was on the other side of the parking lot in her boyfriend's car giving him oral. WHAT? Why would you admit that? Why couldn't she just say that she was arguing with her boyfriend on the other side of the parking lot or something? Then again, who brings their children to a sex session? Apparently, this moron does! She deserves to be put away for being an idiot! 

     Marks was arrested, charged with child desertion and released on a $5,000 bond. Deputies actually learned of the incident when a concerned citizen walked by the car and called the police. The SUV's windows were down. Oh, see? The kids were able to breathe. The children were placed in the care of family members. Seriously, some women should just keep their legs closed and not have kids. The kids don't deserve this. 

Faith D. LaFleur

     Later that day at about 2:03 pm, the Sheriff's office received a call that was similar only this time the car was piping hot. It turned out; 26-year-old Faith D. LaFleur, also from Lake Charles, apparently left her three babies (11-month-old, 2-year-old and a 5-year-old)  in a car at the Prien Lake Mall, so she could go shopping. Police tested the temperature in the car, which reached 130 degrees. I would like to shove this girl in that heat for the amount of time she left those children in there to see how much she enjoys it. What an asshole! Two of the children were strapped in child seats while the other played with the keys in the ignition. An ambulance arrived on the scene and the children were found sweaty, dirty and hungry. Once again, some people should not be parents. This is just as bad as child abuse. What is wrong with putting the the two kids in a stroller while the 5-year-old walked with you while you shopped? MORON!

     LaFleur was arrested and charged with three counts of cruelty to a juevenile. Her bond was set at $100,000. Although, I do believe, as a society, we've become a bit overprotective of our children. These cases just were not right. Like I said earlier, I feel every parent has the right to discipline their children with a spank on the ass without DYFS on their tail. I also feel that a parent should be allowed to leave a child in the car within good reason. It would have to be at night, but you can't do it to go blow your boyfriend in another location, and don't leave your kids in the car when it is extremely hot out to go shopping! That's just plane stupid! Then again, this whole thing now explains my partial brain damage.

FORGET MATCH.COM, LET'S GO TO A PHEROMONE PARTY!

     Here in the States, many single people rely on sites like Match.com to find a mate. Well, London has found a new way for single people to find a partner and no the women in this photo are not getting high from sniffing the contents in this bag. I'm about to tell you why she's laughing her ass off. 

     So, in a bar in trendy east London, dozens of singles mill about, sniffing plastic bags. There are no drugs inside, just slightly stinky t-shirts. These adventurous single men and women are at a "Pheromone Party." That's right! It's the alternative dating trend based on the idea that smell plays a key role in the choice of a sexual partner. I mean, this has to be true. There's no way someone with my looks can land the woman I'm about to marry. She's definitely way out of my league, as my comedian friend Don Jamieson says. So, my scent must've attracted her to me. 

     Anyway, each attendee at the party agreed to wear the same cotton T-shirt for three nights in a row, sans deodorant or perfume, and then they were instructed to bring the shirt to the party. The clothing, infused with the pure scent of the wearer's body, are placed in transparent plastic bags with numbers on colored labels--Pink for women and blue for the men. Organizer Judy Nadel encouraged the partygoers, "Smell as many bags as you like, have fun!" 

     At first there was some nervous laughter, then there was a sudden rush for the bags, which were laid out on a big table in the middle of the room. Some people opened the bags carefully, taking a timid sniff, while others plunge their noses right inside. Those who get a sniff of their dream partner, snap a photo of themselves with the bag. The images are then projected onto the wall and the lucky owners of the chosen T-shirts have a chance to meet their admirers. Nadel says, "It's such a weird concept. It's a huge ice-breaker because you are smelling a stranger's T-shirt. You can't be cool or pretentious. The idea was inspired by a 1995 experiment by a Swiss scientist, Claus Wedekind and the belief that pheromones, chemicals that are fundamental to the sexual behavior of animals, can also be picked up by humans. 

     I have to admit that this is a pretty interesting concept and with sites like Match.com so popular, I can see this happening here in the States. I can imagine these parties happening in New York City, especially in Brooklyn. I'm just happy that I'm no longer single. If I had to go to a party like this....Actually, I don't think I would go to a party like this. If I did, I would wear that t-shirt for the three days, while I ate Indian food for every single one of those days so that my T-shirt smelled like curry so bad that when anyone smelled my bag, they would run to the bathroom to vomit. To me, that's more fun! 

WOULD YOU GIVE THIS RING BACK?

     Many of you who know me, personally, and even if you read this blog, you'll know that I'm a die-heard Yankees fan since the beginning of time. If you're a baseball lover, you'll also know about the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry that's been going the Yankees got Babe Ruth in a trade from the Red Sox. Well, recently, a Yankee fan found a 2013 Red Sox World Series ring in the bathroom of a New York City eatery and he actually gave it back. I have to be honest, I might've given it back too. No matter how much I disliked the team. I would probably look like the bigger A-Hole for keeping the ring or at least, hocking it. 

     Restaurant owner Luigi Militello couldn't believe his eyes when he found the shiny 2013 championship ring on a restaurant sink at Luke's Bar and Grill on Thursday night. He says that it was the real thing too, with diamonds, sapphires and rubies, set in 14-carat white gold, with the Red Sox emblem, a Boston Strong logo and an image of the team's bearded ballplayers. Militello told the Associated Press, "I was like, geez, it's big. Who would leave this here? I'm a big Yankee fan. What are the chances of this happening?"

     It turns out; the ring belonged to Drew Weber, a New York businessman who also owns the Lowell Spinners-a thriving Red Sox Class-A minor league team in Massachusetts. Weber dined at the restaurant earlier in the evening. Big league teams often reward executives throughout their organization with World Series rings. My friend Betsy has one from when the Yankees beat the Phillies back in 2009. The Red Sox have not put a value on these pieces of jewelry, bit the rings presented for winning the 2004 World Series was worth about $30,000. 

     Weber said that this was the first time he'd worn the ring outside. He says, "I went looking around my apartment and started having palpitations. Sweat was pouring off my forehead. I'm looking at my finger and it's not there." Yeah, I think I might have an anxiety attack too if I lost a ring like that somewhere. Hoping against hope, Weber called Luke's after midnight and Militello answered the phone and relieved Weber telling him he had the ring. Militello said, "But this being Yankees-Red Sox, I started razzing him. I told him he wasn't getting it so easily. I was playing with him a lot." Weber answered, "Who am I dealing with?"

     Weber and Militello quickly put their rooting interests aside, met the next day at the restaurant, the ring was returned to its rightful owner, and the two spent 25 minutes talking baseball. Militello insistently would not accept any cash reward for finding the ring. He did, however, try to persuade Weber to call into a local sports radio show and disparage the Red Sox, but Weber was having none of that. Instead, Weber and the Red Sox have invited Militello to make his first trip to Fenway Park for the regular season finale on September 28, which is also scheduled to be the final game for retiring Yankees superstar Derek Jeter. Now, that it better than any reward and Militello would agree. When he asked Weber if he could wear any of his Yankees paraphernalia, Weber said that he couldn't answer that question. Weber is also making a contribution to a charity of Militello's choice and he chose a charity that helps relief efforts for Superstorm Sandy's damage on Fire Island. 

     I have to admit, even as a Yankee fan, who might not have given back the ring, this was a pretty great story. I might be the A-Hole, but I'd be the A-Hole with a World Series ring on my finger. It would have been Weber's loss for leaving it on the sink. Why would you take off an expensive piece of jewelry like that and leave it on the sink of a NYC restaurant of all places. You might as well leave your wallet there too. He's lucky an honest man picked it up and was honest enough to give it back. If I found it, he might not have been so lucky. Then again, Derek Jeter's last game does seem appetizing. 

GOURMET DUMPSTER DIVERS

     I've decided to stay away from the sexual deviance today and dive into garbage. Those of you who live or lived in a city have probably seen people dive into dumpsters to grab salvageable food to bring home for dinner. I mean, I have never done that personally, but I have seen it. Some of you might throw your nose up in the air and say, "That is utterly disgusting!" Some might be curious as to what these people will find. 

     Well, a food-focused innovator and his chef have teamed up and decided to turn trash-bound ingredients into elegant meals and serve them to guests in a cleaned-up old used dumpster. So, instead of diving into the dumpster like a heathen, you can now dine in it with your food cooked by a gourmet chef. Basically, she cooks your garbage. Salvage Supperclub creator Josh Treuhaft told New York Daily News, "If it's edible and you can eat it, we should be using it to feed people" after he studied how to reduce massive food waste. The 30-year-old recent School of Visual Arts graduate partnered with Natural Gourmet institute chefs back in March to hold the first supperclub dining experience in a Chelsea studio. Today, they've run five dinners with the last two held in an industrial dumpster in Williamsburg. I have to admit; I'm not sure I can do it. I'm one of those people that I mentioned earlier who will turn their nose in disgust.

     The 16-seated guest feast showcases chronically unloved ingredients in gourmet dishes. Chef Celia Lam has mashed disgusting-looking black peel bananas with coconut mile for tasty custards, pureed the greens from rubbery carrots for pesto and juiced bruised apples for sorbets. Purple kale stems get pickled for garnishes. Cracked heirloom tomatoes are boiled, skinned and blended into a summer gazpacho. Lam, who hopes to encourage people to use more of their food, says, "It's not something that's very complicated. Pickling is easy to do. Pesto is easy to do. 

     Apparently, the key is to realize there's a difference between normal breakdown and the dangerous bacteria from mishandling that can make you sick. The dumpster dining room was a concept designed to drive home the idea and theme that Lam and Treuhaft came up with. Treuhaft uses materials donated by Build It Green! NYC, a Gowanus-based building supply store that sells salvaged materials, also known as garbage! Even the water glasses come from old wine bottles. The pair have raised a few eyebrows and received a few complaints from passersby. One woman thought it was an insult to homeless people who scavenge for food. Um, not quite, but nice try. And do you really think a homeless person would be insulted by this? I highly doubt it. 

     The duo hope to host another event in August, but they're still working out the details. They hope their idea spreads. Treuhaft says, "Anyone can do this. You could get together with friends on a Sunday and bring things home from your refrigerator and have a great meal." I have a better idea based on the woman's comment. Why don't they keep this concept to feed the homeless? Instead of the homeless diving into dumpsters. Invited them into a dumpster to have a gourmet meal. That would be a hell of a nice gesture and you wouldn't be insulting the homeless. Oh, but then again, where would the money be in that? Well, enjoy your dumpster dining! You won't see me there....unless, I really become homeless. 

SEX ON THE BEACH ANYONE?

      Yesterday, I blogged about a couple who couldn't seem to find the time to get it on, so the husband created an Excel spreadsheet to document his sexless days. Well, today, I have a story where this couple couldn't wait to get home to get it on. They just did it right on the beach as if they were the only ones on the beach, but little did they know; everyone was watching including a 4-year-old little girl. I mean have some class. If you're going to do it on the beach. Do it at night when no one can see you. Why would you do it in the middle of the day, where all your business is out in the open? 

     So, anyway, a Florida couple was arrested for having sex on a public beach in front of several horrified witnesses including the aforementioned 4-year-old. Before I go on, I have to say that the more I blog about these crazy stories, the more I notice that a lot of them come from Florida. Though, I used to love Florida when I was younger, I'm seeing now that Florida is just filled with trash and old people. Sorry, just had to get that off my chest. Moving back to the story; one beachgoer used their cell phone to record the sandy tryst after 20-year-old Elissa Alverez mounted her 39-year-old partner Jose (Benny) Caballero, on a blanket at Cortez Beach in Bradenton, Florida this past Sunday. To be honest, I might have recorded it to for my own safe keeping. 

     The witness told a channel that the sex went on for about 25 minutes. Wow! This guy's a stallion! The witness went on to say that she's lived there since 1978 and she goes to the beaches and had never seen anything like this. Although, several people lying in the sand showed disgust for the two low-lives, no one called the police. After they were done, Caballero and Alvarez went for a quick swim (probably to wash off) before heading back to their blanket to take a nap. The witness said that the two laid on the beach passed out for hours. She said, "We thought they were dead. But when they woke up, they cuddled for a while, then they started into the same thing they did before." 

     Before the couple could get it on again, the mother of the 4-year-old called the police. Caballero, a personal trainer who was released last year from prison after an eight-year stint for cocaine trafficking, and Alvarez were arrested at the scene. They were charged with felony lewd and lascivious exhibition and each were released on $7,500 bond. I mean really. Was it worth the criminal record and the fines when you could have just went home to have sex. If you couldn't wait till then, then go to your car. Why would you do it on a public beach? People are ridiculous! 

Check out this news feature. They actually show some of the video and the girl really isn't bad looking making me want to see more of this video. Take a look: 

HE USED A SEX CELL SPREADSHEET

     My bud, Scotty O sent me this story yesterday afternoon and I couldn't stop thinking how brilliant this was! I mean, come on, ladies! You really need to step up your game here. It's not only about your needs, it's about ours as well. This is could be one of the sole reasons why many marriages end up in divorce and why many men start looking elsewhere for sex. Based on this experiment, women have no right to get upset if her man goes wandering because he's not sexually happy at home. I'll explain...

     So, a woman's sexually frustrated husband sent her an Excel spreadsheet listing every time she shot down his attempts to have sex over the past month, including her excuses in another column. I say, "Brilliant!" The couple has not been identified, but the woman used the name throwwwwaway29 on Reddit to post the Excel document to the site on Friday along with a plea for advice on how to handle the situation. She wrote, "Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. I open it up and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone."

     The fed-up hubby's rundown showed that the couple only had sex three times since June 3, despite 27 tries on his part to get down to business. One column listed the wife's apparent excuses, which included "I have to be up early", "I'm exhausted", "I'm watching the show" (a Friends re-run) and my favorite "I just came back from the gym, I feel gross." The nights that the hubby did get some action, he marked it with an italicized "Yes." The beleaguered wife called the dry-spell "a temporary slow-down due to extenuating circumstances." She went on to say, "Our sex life HAS tapered in the last few months, but isn't that allowed? We are adults leading busy, stressful lives. I cook for him....It's not like our sex life was going to be this way FOREVER!"

     Responders on Reddit recommended that the couple make getting busy a higher priority. One poster even wrote, "Have sex with your husband!" I hate be the sex therapist here, but looking at the spreadsheet and the excuses, I'd guess that she had someone else on the side. She was making the excuses because she had already gotten hers earlier in the day. Then again, I bet if any married man were to follow this guy's lead for a month, they might find that this is a similar pattern amongst all women. In fact, the fact that he even got some action three times that months, some might say that's a lot! Guys, this is definitely an experiment that we all need to try once. Your wives won't like it, but you'll learn that this guy is not alone in this battle. Ladies, you need to take care of us more! We have needs too! You know the phrase, "If you don't use it, you're gonna lose it!" Well, use it, women!

REMOVE THE TATTOO OR LOOSE YOUR JOB

     Isn't this 2014? Are we still discriminating against people with tattoos? I mean seriously? Apparently, in Michigan they don' like tattoos, which is weird because I know plenty of people from Michigan and they're all tatted up. So, anyway, a Starbucks barista in Michigan could lose her job over a tattoo on her hand that is smaller than a penny. 

     The woman told a news source that she was recently given an ultimatum to get rid of her tattoo within 30 days or resign. According to the barista, "It's just a little heart; you can cover it up with your thumb. It's not offensive to anybody and now I am being told after five years of having this tattoo, being hired in that, I have to get rid of it or resign from my job."

     The 27-year-old woman from Rochester Hills said that the tattoo is located above her left thumb and she had it when Starbucks originally hired her five years ago. She has been using makeup to hide it, but apparently, that didn't satisfy her bosses at a Starbucks in Troy, Michigan. According to Starbucks, company policy bars baristas from having visible tattoos. They say, "This is part of our dress code policy and is discussed with our candidates during the interview process."

     Again, I ask: Is this 2014? I mean discrimination of people with tattoos is a thing of the past. In fact, last I checked; any sort of discrimination is a thing of the past. Then again, Troy, Michigan might be a city that hasn't really caught up yet. I'm pretty sure that I've seen tattoos on baristas at Starbucks in NYC and even here in NJ. So, if this is a dress code policy, it's not a strict one. Besides what's a small tattoo that looks like a birth mark really going to do to someone's coffee? Starbuck's needs to wake up!

SUBMIT YOUR DNA TO FIND A DATE

     Is it me or are these dating sites getting out of control? First, they want to help you find someone who is exactly like your ex, and now they want to match you according to your DNA? That's right! If other sites like Match and Tinder can't find you a mate, then maybe your genes can help you find a date online. SingldOut.com claims to be the first dating site that links people by their DNA. According to the site's co-founder, Elle France, "There is a science behind attraction." I have to be honest, I don't know how comfortable I am sending my DNA to a total stranger. 

     Users pay $199 for a three-month membership, $249 for six months, or $299 for a whole year. They can join via LinkedIn to start building their profile. They will then receive a DNA testing kit, which includes a tube for new members to spit into and all they have to do next is mail the tube off. The test would be used to look at people's serotonin uptake transporter, which helps determine people react to positive and negative feelings, as well as genes that impact the immune system. 

     The company who makes the DNA tests for SingldOut, Instant Chemistry,cites research shows that women are most into men whose DNA sequences are the most opposite of their own. Having a diverging set of DNA in the immune system provides a prospective offspring with a better chance of warding off infection. Couples with this "biological compatibility" say that they have have way better sex lives, more physical attraction and higher likelihood of solid long-term relationship. They go on to say that people responding differently to emotional circumstances have different DNA sequences, and probably aren't a good match. 

     Users will have their DNA results posted to their online profile in about a week. After completing a personality questionnaire, they can start searching SingldOut members based on "ideal mate preferences." I'm not sure that I am too into this idea. Thank God I am no longer on the market and looking like some of my friends because this whole online dating thing seems to be getting out of control. I mean spitting into a tube to get a date? That's a little creepy and it doesn't seem like it really works. How can you be so sure a relationship can be long-term just from spit? What happened to the days of courting a girl that you met and asking them on dates? Now, we have to rely on spit? This is so ridiculous!

PENIS PUSH-UPS? JACK BLACK WAS RIGHT!

     I can't be the only one who actually does exercises to keep my privates in shape? Too much? Anyway, today's blog is for my brethren, who would like to prevent Erectile Dysfunction as we get older in age. You see, just like women, men do have a pelvic floor, which is supported by the Pubococcygeus muscles, and training them can heed similar results including improved bladder control and even enhanced sexual pleasure. According to new research, the female pelvic floor is known to weaken dramatically after childbirth, where the male pelvic floor looses its strength gradually, starting as men approach their 30s. I don't know about you, but I have no problems rising to the occasion. All I need is for the wind to blow. 

     Well, men, never fear because Private Gym, LLC is here! They announced on Tuesday the release of its new fitness program, which includes a four-week interactive DVD exercise program, a resource, and a male Kegel training device. What's a male Kegel training device? I'm glad you asked! It's a silicone weighted penis ring that works in conjunction with a weighted magnet that attaches to the bottom of the ring. The ring is said to be hypoallergenic and designed for maximum comfort. So, basically, they found a way to hang weights on your penis, so you can work out your penis muscle. 

     Private Gym joins a budding new market of similar products for men that include the KegelPad, where men are instructed to sit in a manner that makes contact between the perineum (also known to us as The Taint) and the pad, with the scrotum (known to us as the ball sack) hanging over the edge. Then the Kegels are performed by sliding on the pad, which the company website describes as "Penis Push Ups." Another device best described as a barbell for the penis is the Kegelmale Trainer, which is draped over the penis during an erection and the user is to manipulate his organ in a repetitive lifting motion as he would his biceps. WHAT? This can't be for real! Anyway, these and other products promise a range pf benefits, often extending to enhance penis size and an improved look, although such results are highly unlikely in one case and highly subjective in the other. 

     As far as the real benefits, you'll have improved bladder control and enhanced sexual pleasure is to be expected. Well, that's according to Dr. Andrew Siegel, a urologist, surgeon, professor and co-founder of the Private Gym. According to Dr. Siegel, E.D. and premature ejaculation increase with age due to a weakening of the male pelvic floor muscles that occurs usually as the 30s approach. He describes this further on his website. He also adds that men and women can perform Kegels without any devices by repeated constrictions of the muscles used to stop the flow of urine. In fact, I'm doing them as I write. 

      Check out this lovely video about the Private Gym, LLC:

SMELLING FARTS CAN BE GOOD FOR YOU!

     I actually saw this story the other day and was so intrigued by it. I tell my fiancee every day that farting is actually healthy and good for you. When I first told her, she thought that I was gross, but now we don't hold back. In fact, we adopted a Boston Terrier back in 2008 and for those of you who know the breed, you'll also know that they are the gassiest of all dog breeds. That being said; our home is a fart-ful household where we just break wind all over the place.

 I know that sounds childish and low class, but according to this study out of the University of Exeter in the UK found that hydrogen sulfide gas, which is found in rotten eggs and flatulence could reduce the risk of cancer, heart attack, strokes, arthritis and dementia. I knew it! I'm way ahead of my time. Anyway, the Exeter scientists created a compound called AP39 that delivers small, concentrated amounts of the gas to mitochondria, the "powerhouses" of cells that take in nutrients, break them down and create energy. Preventing or reversing mitochondrial damage is considered key to treating various ailments. According to Professor Matt Whiteman of the University of Exeter Medical School, "Our results indicate that if stressed cells are treated by AP39, mitochondria are protected and cells stay alive." 

     Of course, hydrogen sulfide can prove deadly in large doses, meaning that sniffing a fart or two here and there is a much better and safer idea than, say, filling your house with rotten eggs. So, just remember that the next time someone lets one rip in your presence, make sure you thank them for saving your life before you let the stink sink in and run in the other direction. I mean scientists have yet to confirm that smelling farts is as valuable as delivering their compounds straight to cells, but for now you can at least stop and appreciate that farting isn't all that bad for you. It might smell for a few minutes, but apparently breathing it in can be good for you. So, just let them rip!

BREASTFEEDING AT A CONCERT.....IS THIS OKAY?

     Last week, I blogged about a guy falling asleep at a Yankees game and now he's suing Major League Baseball. Today, I'm going to switch gears to concert etiquette and just put this out there; it might be bad parenting to bring a 4-month old child to a concert and breastfeed them in public. That's what Megan Christopherson did recently at a Brad Paisley concert, where she was asked to leave for the public display of breastfeeding.

     According to officials, Christopherson was asked to leave not only because of the public display, but because they feared for the safety of her child. Police told her that the child could be crushed or the loud noises from the amps and PA monitors could hurt the baby's hearing. Okay, as an avid concertgoer, I have to say that Christopherson is an asshole for bringing a 4-month-old infant to a concert. Get a babysitter to watch your baby in your trailer at the trailer park! A concert is no place for a baby, you moron! Christopherson proceeded to post a YouTube video (which has since been taken down) showing an officer telling her, "Where you're at, your child could get crushed. We're afraid your child's eardrums are being hurt." 

     Christopherson, who was also with her 8-year-old daughter, argued that the baby was fine, alseep and had been taken to previous concerts. Christopherson actually ended up leaving after she was offered a chance to go to a seated area for free or get a refund. A police statement was issued saying that the request for the mother to move was "not due to a mother's legal right to breastfeed in public." The statement also added that Christopherson was "near the stage wall area and mere feet away from the speakers." Others are singing a different tune saying that she was ejected because of the breastfeeding. Regardless, whether she was breastfeeding at a metal concert, a country concerts or an opera, the bottom line is that a concert is no place for an infant of 4-months to be at. Honestly, I think that this lady could breastfeed wherever the hell she wants! My problem is with the fact that she brought a child to a loud concert.

     Christopherson told a news channel, "I'm shocked. I'm disgusted at our society that women are shamed into nursing in bathrooms on their cars or feeding their baby in a bottle only because they're scared to nurse in public. It's a country concert. I wasn't at a death metal or a rap concert. It's pretty somber at country concerts." Also adding that she trusted her motherly instincts. Well, your motherly instincts are horrible and you put your child at risk of losing it's hearing. You really are an ass if you think that you were kicked out of this concert just for breastfeeding. Any mother with a brain would know that a child shouldn't be subjected to loud noised like a concert, especially at 4-months old when their hearing is probably most sensitive. Then again, fans of country music aren't all there upstairs.

WHAT DOES DEREK JETER AND TEMPUR-PEDIC BANANA HAMMOCKS HAVE IN COMMON?

     Move over Victoria! It looks like Captain Clutch has an even bigger "secret" and it's not women's lingerie. It turns out, future Yankees legend, Derek Jeter has his retirement plan in place and it includes becoming an underwear mogul, according to Page Six in the New York Post. "D.J.", as us Yankees fans like to call him, is apparently a secret co-owner of Frigo RevolutionWear, a customized men's underwear that has been branded as the "Tempur-Pedic banana hammock." These high-tech undies go for about $100 a pair and include a "soft lock adjustment system" plus a "patented pouch" which is being dubbed as the "Frigo Zone." Do I really need to tell you where this Frigo Zone is located? Let's just say it's where your bat and balls are stored. 

Photo by William Perlman

     D.J. has endorsed these expensive undies in the past, but his reps have been trying to keep it under wraps that he's even an investor in the top-shelf drawers. Apparently, the Yankees are concerned that Jete will become the next Jim Palmer. For those of you who are too young to even remember, Jim Palmer was a Hall of Fame  pitcher for the Baltimore Orioles, who was the spokesperson for Jockey underwear, where he became the face of the company appearing in print and TV ads and a even a billboard in Times Square wearing tight bikini briefs of every stripe back in the 1970s. In other words, he kind of became the laughing stock of the league, which I'm sure the Yankees are looking to avoid since this is Jeter's final season. Then again, I'm sure Jim Palmer got a lot of tail after that ad. Not that D.J. ever had a problem in that area. 

     Jeter is unlikely to appear in any ads as he told Page Six himself last year at a bash for a Frigo pop-up store, "It'd be too embarrassing." Jete allegedly attended the event because he's pals with Frigo CEO Mathis Ingvarsson, who Page Six recently found out has the same stake in the company as the Yankee captain. Ingvarsson explains the product as "It separates your genitals from the rest of your body. It lifts a little bit so guys feel the comfort." I don't know about you, bit I don't really want to separate my genitals from the rest of my body. The products marketing materials further explain the expensive undergarments: "Unlike other garments that keep things in place by compressing your package inward, Frigo provides support from behind so you won't feel constricted." 

     Jete has apparently been spotted wearing Frigo-branded outerwear, and has offered his endorsement without ever letting people know that he has ownership stake in the company. Jete's not alone when it comes to celebs having stakes in this company. Newly re-signed New York Knick Carmelo Anthony has some stake and so does entrepreneurial rapper 50 Cent, who doesn't know how to throw a baseball. Anyway, so what Jete is part owner in this company? Who's to say that he can't have a life outside of baseball. As far as a retirement plan after baseball this year, this might not be a horrible move for him. I have to admit; now, even I'm a little curious to try these undies on for size. Come on! Tell me you're not thinking it......

ERECTION DAY

     I saw this story yesterday and since nothing today topped it, I need to share with you how screwed up in the head some people are. Oh, but we already knew that didn't we? That's why you're here reading this blog! Anyway, a 17-year-old Virginia teen, who was under investigation for sending a consensual sext (sexual text message) to his 15-year-old girlfriend, may be forced to have an erection in front of police as evidence for the case. 

     The boy, who remains unidentified, is being charged with two felonies--one for possession of child pornography (the sexts that he received from his girlfriend) and one for manufacturing child pornography (videos he took of himself). He faces time in prison, as well as a permanent place on the sex offender registry. Wait a minute! So, when you're 17, you're no longer allowed to date a 15-year-old? Excuse my French, but are you f**king kidding me? Let the kids be kids. When I was 17, which was a long time ago, juniors and seniors were always messing around with the freshman and sophomores. I mean I guess texting it to each other might have been a bad idea and since we didn't have that sort of technology back in my day, we just did it in person. What is this world coming to that now a 17-year-old can't date a 15-year-old without being charged criminally with prison time. I just don't get this!

     Here's the best part; police have already taken photos of the boy's genitals as part of their investigation, but they want to bring the teen to the hospital and inject him with something that will force him to have an erection to compare his penis to the penis found on the video on his phone. WHAT? This is outrageous! How is the law allowing this to happen? Last I checked, this boy was still a minor and now police are taking photos of his penis? Sounds more like an "investi-GAY-tion" on the police end. And injecting him with something to force an erection? Um, he's 17-years-old! The wind will do that! Come on! Let the kids be kids!

     As technology advances and teens find new ways to express their sexuality, legislators and law enforcement are grappling with how to deal with things like sexting. At least 20 states have criminalized sexually explicit messages between teens. There seems to be a perception that sexting has dangerous implications for young people. Meanwhile, the amount of manipulative sexting is on the decline. These are nice stats and all, but if you ask me the real criminals here are the police department taking photos of the 17-year-old boys penis. This boy should not have any criminal charges upon him. He was privately interacting with his girlfriend who is only 2 years younger than he his. If you ask me, I see an invasion of privacy by the police along with manufacturing child porn themselves. This whole story is absolutely absurd. That's why I needed to share. What do you think?

THE NEW BASEBALL CARDS?

     Okay, first of all, what the hell? Second of all, what happened to the day when you used to buy Topps baseball cards that came with a piece of bubble gum? I'm sure that was a long time ago, as I don't believe Topps releases their baseball cards with gum anymore, which brings me back to my first thought of "what the hell?" 

     So, it looks like the ever popular World Series beards grown by the World Series champion Boston Red Sox (I know, I know; this is the second day in a row that I'm writing about these crappy Red Sox) did not go into a wastebasket. It turns out; they're now inside your baseball card. Take a look at the photo. Gross, right? It actually looks like his pubic hair. 

     Anyway, Topps' Allen and Ginter "Oddity" line is currently carrying 25 Daniel Nava cards (he's their outfielder for those of you who don't know the name.), which include actual strands (or pubic hair) of Nava's playoff beard. Apparently, his was a little bit more clean cut compared to teammates Dustin Pedroia, Jonny Gomes and Mike Napoli. One of these beard filled cards is already on eBay and the latest of 20 bids so far is at $163 and rising. I've been to many card shows and have never seen anything like this. "Oddities" might be the best adjective for this. I mean who would want this? Even if they posted Derek Jeter's used condom, I can't see myself trying to bid on that. People are nuts! Then again, he is retiring this year, so the value of that may go up. I might need to rethink that last statement. 

     The card company's Oddity Relics include some pretty bizarre inserts that don't only come from the world of sports. For instance, some past collections included pieces of the menu from the ill-fated wedding of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries and a piece of the fence from the grassy knoll where President Kennedy was shot. That is crazy! Where the hell do they get this stuff and why would anyone want it? These inserts seem to be quite the shift from the early days when collectors would get a stick of stale gum (I miss that stale gum!), or more recently, a piece of a jersey or bat. Now, you're getting a piece of the player's DNA. 

     I'm not sure if any other "beard cards" were made for players other than Nava, but I did hear a rumor that Topps will be releasing a line some time this month for a car featuring pieces of scrubs worn by famed sports surgeon, Dr. James Andrews. You name a ballplayer, he fixed them! Either way you want to look at it, the beard in the card is pretty gross. I understand wanting to be close to your idols, but this is a little extreme. So, how about that Derek Jeter used condom baseball card?

YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE!

     Originally, I was going to write about how Target Field in Minnesota unveiled the first ever self-serve beer stand at their stadium, but this story, which I saw yesterday, pissed me off so much, that I need to vent about it. Then again, maybe I shouldn't poke fun at this chump since he seems to be suing people who make fun of him sleeping at a baseball game! Don't get me wrong. I know that baseball isn't the most exciting sport to watch at times like football and hockey are with it's non-stop action. But to fall asleep at a Yankees/Red Sox game? You deserved to be mocked and ridiculed on national TV. You literally fell asleep during baseball's biggest rivalry. Who does that? Why go to the game? Stay home and let someone who will enjoy the game have your seat!

     Anyway, Sleepy Dwarf, Andrew Rector has filed a $10 million dollar defamation suit against the New York Yankees, ESPN, it's play-by-play announcer Dan Shulman and the colorful John Kruk, who he claims unleashed an "avalanche of disparaging words" over his nationally televised nap. Wait a minute! How is it everyone else's fault that you fell asleep on national TV? If it's one thing that I hate more than anything, it's when people make their problems, your problem without taking any blame themselves. That's Andrew Rector. You fell asleep, pal! The Yankees, ESPN, Dan Shulman or John Kruk didn't make you fall asleep in front of 50,000 people. You fell asleep and now you're embarrassed about it. Too bad! 

     Rector admitted in the Bronx Supreme Court suit that he "briefly slept" during the April 13 night game between the Yankees and Red Sox, but Rector's typo-ridden suit says that Shulman and Kruk's "false statements" include suggestion Rector is "not worthy" to be a Yankee fan and "is a fatty cow that needs two seats at all time and represent the symbol of failure." The statement also said that Rector was made out to be "a confused individual that neither understands nor knows anything about history and the meaning of rivalry between Red Sox and New York Yankees." Um, yeah. I watched the video footage and didn't hear any of that. They made fun of the fact that he fell asleep in the fourth inning and how his friend was paying more attention to the game than him. No one called him fat or a symbol of failure. Regardless, the used-car dealer claims to have suffered "substantial injury" to his "character and reputation" as well as "mental anguish loss of future income and loss of earning capacity." His filing on July 3 also names Major League Baseball as a defendant. 

     Now, it's my turn to say something to Andrew Rector...You're an asshole! You fell asleep at a Yankees/Red Sox game and your making it everyone else's problem. You're wasting the court's time, the Yankees time, and ESPN's time. They didn't defame your character. You defamed your character because you fell asleep at a ballgame. Last I checked, that it public domain. You call asleep there, then you deserve to be mocked. Dan Shulman and John Kruk didn't say anything about you that the person next to you or behind you wasn't saying. Sorry you're feelings were hurt, but I fail to believe that it cost you any loss of future income because you were probably a hack used-car salesman anyway. I hope that the court is smart enough to see through this and that you're just looking for a quick pay day! Like I said, you're just an asshole looking to make your problems everyone else's! At the end of the day, you just have to remember, you snooze, you lose!

Take a look at the ESPN footage and let me know what you think: 

SHOCKED JOCK

     By now, I'm sure we've all heard the story about how Anthony Cumia of the popular SiriusXM show "Opie and Anthony" was fired from the show right before Fourth of July weekend for posting some pretty racist Tweets on Twitter about a black woman who punched him in the face in Times Square. For those of you who live under a rock and have no clue who "Opie and Anthony" are, they're an extremely popular radio show, who at one time gave the Great Howard Stern a run for his money as far as radio shock jocks go. It was O and A who coined the phrase "Whip 'Em Out Wednesday" or simply seen on bumper stickers as "W.O.W." Yes, I know that you've seen them on cars, but probably never knew what those stickers meant. Well, back when O and A were making their bones in NYC back when I was still at Z100, they ran this campaign on Wednesdays where if women saw these bumper stickers on cars, they were urged to lift their tops and show the bearer of the sticker their boobs. Those were some great days! I've never seen so many boobs in my life until that time period and I never even had a sticker!

     Anyway, today, Anthony, after two decades on the air and three firings (oh yeah, he was also fired in Boston for running an April Fool's Day joke saying that the mayor of Boston was dead.), says he's going off the airwaves for good after his recent SiriusXM firing. Anthony was fired on Friday from SiriusXM for a series of racially charged tweets. He says that he plans on doing a live podcast-style broadcast from Long Island home studio. One source said that Anthony is pretty much "history as far as any corporate-owned media are concerned."

     Cumia, who is 53, would most likely recruit many of the comic regulars featured on the O and A show like Jimmy Norton, Bill Burr, Jim Florentine, and Nick DPaolo, just to name a few. Though, Anthony has decided to flip the dial on his career, rabid fans of the O and A show have launched an online petition demanding that Anthony be re-instated on the show. Nearly 4,000 supporters, many whom are threatening to cancel their subscription, backed Cumia after he was axed for the Twitter tirade, which was deemed as "hate-filled" by his former employer. In the petition, it was stated, "A member of your staff should not lose their job for exercising their First Amendment right to free speech. You should be ashamed of your actions."

      The $3-million-a-year co-host launched his Twitter offensive early Wednesday after asserting that he was punched in the face by a black woman in Times Square while he was trying to take a picture of the touristy NYC hot spot. Anthony ripped into the woman calling her a "c**t" and a "savage" and expressed his desire for someone to shoot her. He also Tweeted, "It's really open season on white people in this day and age. No recourse. Fight back and you're a racist." The tweets were deleted this weekend after his firing was announced. 

     Here's what I  have to say about this situation after being in radio for 13 years: Anthony, you're a public figure, bro! Though, I might agree with the way you felt at the moment because you got clocked by a black woman for no reason at all, but taking it to Twitter was not a smart move because you have so many people watching you. You might not have been an A-list celebrity, but you're a celebrity nonetheless and one of my radio heroes. Yes, I do agree that your First Amendment rights were taken from you, but come on! When you're in the public eye, you really need to watch what you say on sites like Twitter and Facebook. On the bright side, you might be better off out of corporate America and doing your own thing and being your own boss. Your followers will follow you to your podcast, so you're off to a pretty good head start. As for that black woman, you're right! Something bad should happen to her. She can't just go around punching people because they take pictures in Times Square! It's Times Square! That's what tourists do!

HALL OF FAME CHEAPSKATE....WHAT A SAPP!

     Besides being in the NFL Hall of Fame, is Warren Sapp even relevant anymore? I mean really? Who cares? Look at Michael Strahan. At least, he went on to become a co-host on one of the top morning shows in America. Yeah, so what a homeless man tried to kill him this morning. The point is that he's still relevant. Warren Sapp? Not so much! 

     Anyway, the former Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive tackle was recently flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct this past Tuesday when he was outed on Twitter for not leaving a tip for a 26-year-old waitress after watching the U.S. versus Belgium World Cup game at Upper Deck Sports Bar and Grill in Miami. The bill, which cost only $69.39, was left with a message written in by Sapp saying "Boys don't tip." What did that mean? Well, apparently, Sapp did not like it when the waitress called him and his friends "boys." Are you kidding? 

     Sapp allegedly defended his actions on Twitter by also saying that the service was indeed poor as well. He tweeted, "She kept calling us boys so the tip Fit! I left it was horrible and service was the worst!" What a jackass! Who is not smart enough to know that these servers live off the tips their patrons give them. I don't care if she called you a boy, a dog, or a girl, she still deserved to be tipped because she provided a service to you. This is why some people don't deserve to have money!

     The waitress, who is only going by the name Corey, gave her side of the story saying, "I walked over to his table. It was him and one other guy and I said, 'Hey boys, what can I get you to drink?' And he was like 'We're not boys. I'm a man.'" Sounds to me that someone is a bit insecure. Anyway, Corey went on to say that saying, "Hey, men, what do you want to drink?" sounds a little weird, so she goes with 'boys' a lot because it's youthful and general. She also added that she didn't think calling them 'boys' was offensive and that if she walked up to a table of girls, she would have said, "Hey, girls" or "Hey, ladies."

     A manager at Upper Deck Sports Bar and Grille said that they would investigate if the service was poor, which Corey also defended. She said that he arrived at the bar at around 3:20 pm....And he left probably an hour after the match and that his service wasn't terrible. If he hung around an hour after the match, I highly doubt that his service was terrible. If the service was that bad, he should have left. He was in Miami. I'm sure every bar in that city had the World Cup game on. Corey went on to say that she also did not post the receipt on Twitter. She sent the photo to her sister who posted it to social media, which lead it to go viral. 

     Corey said that Sapp wasn't the first famous athlete that she's served. She also once served Hall of Famer Dan Marino, whom she said was the 'nicest person ever' and they even talked about Ace Ventura. All I have to say is that it sounds to me that she caught Warren Sapp in one of his bad moods. He probably wasn't in a good mood and hearing some random girl call him a boy didn't help his mood. That's still no excuse no to tip someone who served you. From what I hear, being cheap is a common practice for celebrities who wipe their asses with $100 dollar bills! Warren Sapp should be ashamed of himself.    

TURN YOUR HEAD AND COUGH, PLEASE.....

     Originally, I was going to write about that piece of garbage Texas University cheerleader who went on that hunting trip and posted photos of herself with dead lions, zebras, rhinos and other exotic animals. I felt that she wasn't worth the mention because she was a piece of crap. I mean I'm no animal right activist, but I certainly don't like seeing our wild life killed for sport. For food, I have no problem for it. For a trophy I do. Besides, this story is so much funnier! 

    So, a Pennsylvania woman was recently arrested for allegedly using bogus medical credentials to illegally perform physicals on more than a dozen men. The only thing she was missing was her Fisher-Price stethoscope. She mainly targeted one truck stop. 56-year-old, Joann Elizabeth Wingate is now facing charges including felony charges including felony forgery and identity theft after a former patient became suspicious and contacted police, leading to the discovery of at least 16 victims. THAT  IS HILARIOUS! 

     The truck driver, who cam forward, told police that he saw an ad for physicals, like the ones required for his commercial driver's license, posted at the Blue Beacon Truck Wash in Middlesex Township. Middle-Sex is what he got alright! It sounds like this guy was molested by a woman who pretended to be a doctor! Anyway, after contacting the number listed, he said a "Dr. Wingate" picked him up and brought him back to her home (red flag!) where she performed a physical for $65 including a hernia check and everything else a doctor would do. The weird thing was that she even asked the truck driver for a urine sample for a "protein test." Is it possible that Wingate just needed his urine sample? 

     The driver became suspicious when an official with the California Department of Transportation contacted him over issues with his trucker's license. After investigating Wingate's credentials online, he decided to investigate on his own and returned to her home office for a second visit, where he photographed her medical certificate and handed it over to the police. The photos disturbingly revealed that not only did Wingate have two chiropractic license numbers that were suspended and inactive, but she was using the license info of a Philadelphia-area psychiatrist who shared her last name. This is too much! The alleged mad doctor was arrested on June 28 and held at the Cumberland County Prison on $10,000 bail. 

     During the search of her home, state troopers also reported finding a small amount of marijuana and drug paraphernalia, in addition to several signs and brochures advertising her services. Authorities suspect that there may be many more victims who were molested by Wingate and are asking for anyone with information about her practice or believes they may be a victim to contact them at (717) 254-4701. No motive has been revealed at this time, but is it possible that maybe she wanted to use her victim's urine samples as her own for random drug testing at her job? Besides faking to be a doctor, what did Wingate really do wrong here? Maybe she was lonely and just wanted to see a bunch of naked truckers. Any way you look at it, this story is just bizarre and way better than that exotic animal killer. 

SLEEPING IN THE NUDE MAKES FOR A HAPPIER RELATIONSHIP

     I knew it! I've been saying this all along! Taking off your clothes before bed (not just down to your underwear. In the nude!) can lead to a happier relationship. According to this recent study, it can lead to a happier relationship in more ways than one. I've been telling my fiancee this since the beginning of our relationship. Let's just say we're very happy!

     A survey was launched by Cotton USA of 1,000 Brits asking them what they wear to bed and how happy they were in their relationship. Fifty-seven percent of those who reported sleeping in the nude said they felt happy, compared to the 48% of pajama wearers and 43% of nightie wearers. People who wore onesies were the unhappiest in their relationship, reporting in at 15%. WHAT? What adult still wears onesies? Did any of you even catch that? I thought onesies for adults with the flap in the back for pooping went out with the 1800s. 

     A Cotton USA spokesperson, Stephanie Thiers-Ratcliffe said in a release that being nude encouraged being intimate and open because of soft bedding and skin-to-skin contact. If you ask me, the skin-to-skin contact is the only reason. Soft bedding has nothing to do with me being happy! A Manhattan-based therapist and relationship expert (They have those?), Amber Madison wasn't surprised by the findings. She said, "Being naked in bed with your partner is physically and emotionally intimate. It's a way of showing, 'I want to be close to you' and a green light for sex. That intimacy and emotional and physical availability is what keeps a relationship strong in light of daily stressors and challenges." 

     The study also looked at general sleeping habits and relationships. Some results included dirty clothes on the floor, clutter and beds left unmade are big turn-offs. Eating in bed, allowing pets in the bedroom, stealing the covers and wearing socks to sleep were also listed as big pet peeves for some of the participants. Thiers-Ratcliffe added that there are many factors which can affect the success of a relationship, but one factor which is often overlooked is the bedroom environment. On the topic of cotton since the survey was done by Cotton USA, the material was said to imply cleanliness, while satin implied wealth (but also sleaziness) and polyester implied cheapskates. I don't think I've ever slept on a polyester bed sheet, but I have slept on cotton and satin. Does that make me a rich and clean sleazebag? Oh by the way, the majority who took this survey were over 55, so there you have it! It's our parents who sleep in the nude. Well, that's if you see that their relationship is a happy one, just so you know; you're parents sleep naked. If they're as miserable as mine, it's okay; they still sleep with their clothes on. How's that for a visual!