STRIPPER BASHING?

     Most guys know there's sort of an etiquette at these strip clubs. For instance, when my cousin and I used to frequent these places and there was a stripper coming around fishing for some dollars, but we didn't think she was good-looking or she didn't do enough for a tip, we would make believe that we were in deep conversation and didn't see her there. Then she would walk away. She probably ended up telling the other girls that we didn't tip, but that kind of benefitted us, right? We got to see naked girls without having to even give them a tip. 

     Sometimes, there were strippers who shouldn't have been strippers like the overweight ones. Have you ever seen an overweight girl twerking in front of your face? Then you don't get to judge me! Anyway, we wouldn't embarrass the girl. We would simply pull our deep conversation stunt. Well, a stripper in South Carolina attacked a man after he didn't want to her clothes. Instead, he told her to lose weight! Unreal!

     The Derrieres Gentlemen's Club stripper had heard enough out of 23-year-old Kyle Yeoman, after he told her, "Go to the gym and lose weight" early Sunday morning. After his advice, the stripper lunged off the stage and punched him in the face four times, causing visible injuries from the rings on her fists. A bouncer then dragged the patron out of the club and roughed him up as well. Ouch! Next time keep your mouth shut....Or pretend to be in deep conversation. 

     Yeoman told police he had harassed the stripper about her weight because she was annoying him. He told police, "She kept trying to talk to me and I was tired of it." He went on to blame the insults on the alcohol telling police on a scale from 1 to 10, he was an 11. Yeoman waited about 17 hours after the incident to call police, but stressed that he did not want to press charges and only sought a police report. He identified the girl as a white woman, weighing 115-120 pounds with "a muffin top." Unreal! 

     A friend of Yeoman's, who was a witness at the strip club, said he saw his friend getting clobbered by the stripper, but had no idea what was said and missed the weight comment being made. The police tried getting the stripper's side of the story, but the club was closed and the could not be reached for comment. I am telling you.....Faking a deep conversation gets you out of any annoying strippers! No need to make fun of their weight. Trust me, I'm a professional. 

PHUC DAT BICH SAYS THANK YOU? EXCUSE ME?

     Okay, last week when I saw this story, I thought it was a joke, but apparently, this was a real story about a guy named Phuc Dat Bich! What the hell? I mean, I know we Asians have weird names, but this is pretty hilarious. It would have been better if he was traveling with Poo Cum Slo. That would have made this story a hundred times better. 

     Anyway, Phuc Dat Bich, the 23-year-old Vietnamese-Australian man, who looks like my cousin Matthew, took to Facebook this morning to show his gratitude to the thousands of people who supported him after he posted a photo of his passport on the social media site to prove that it was his real name. He said in the post, "I'd like to mention that I am very grateful to those who have been supportive of certain names that populate in different cultures. We live in a diverse and multicultural society and the fact that there are people out there who are supportive and encouraging really makes me happy."

     Dat Bich's (sorry, I had to!) January post of his passport garnered over 160,000 "likes" and over 80,000 "shares". It was posted in response to Facebook terminating his account several times for a name they called "false and misleading." Reactions to the original post were mostly positive with people offering support for the name. One Facebook user wrote, "Mate, ignore any disbelievers as they are only jealous of your name. We think it's the best name a man can have." 

     Personally, I think the name is fantastic, but I too would have been leery of it at first as well. I say this only because I used to be the person responsible for writing the birthday lists on the Elvis Duran Morning Show many many years ago, where producer Skeery Jones would read the day's birthday names. I would slip in names like Sum Ting Wong or Patty O'Furniture or Lynn Guini (I think you get the picture) for Skeery to read on the air. It used to be a really funny bit. 

     The hilarious thing about Dat Bich's (sorry, I had to again!) name is that it's actually pronounced "Phoop Dook Bic" and is a common name in Vietnam. I'm guessing it's like John Smith in Vietnam. Can you imagine John Smith was a dirty looking name in Vietnamese. That would be a total flip of the script.

SEXTING JUST GOT REAL!

     Just when I thought I'd seen it all....Well, I guess I haven't. You'll see why after reading this even though the photo is a dead giveaway. This new accessory turns your phone into a vibrator. Basically, you can use the same device that you call Mom with to get yourself off. It's true!

    The IZIVIBE is being billed as "the world's first sex toy which uses the vibrations of your smartphone!" Someone finally did it! I cannot reveal the band, so don't ask, but last year when I interviewed them, I asked if there any road stories that they could share with me and one of the stories consisted of placing an iPhone in a girl's vajayjay and calling here while here phone was on vibrate. Well, now it seems there's an app for that! 

     According to product manager Remy Waddle, the company currently only has prototypes built. With all the BUZZ (get it?) the website has received, they plan on launching a campaign to raise enough money to start producing the high-tech sex toys en masse. Waddle said, "We weren't really expecting such a viral effect, and it changes our business strategy. Therefore, we will certainly opt for a crowdfunding that should be in place soon."

     According to the IZIVIBE website, "Simple but effective, IZIVIBE's internal dildo structure is designed to propagate the phone's vibrations along the entire length to get a maximum of pleasure." The team behind the toy aspired "to imagine an original product, not vulgar, that is simple and effective." The phallic phone extension has several distinct features, including seven vibration modes, customization options and the ability to allow a partner to play along and control the device remotely. That's hot! 

     The toy is said to be safe, made from medical-grade silicone, hypoallergenic and free from phthalate, a chemical that researchers have tied to health risks. The thought of a sex toy attached to a phone is a little worrisome, given that our phones are said to be dirtier than toilet seats, but Waddle assured that the device has a protective window to help guard against this issue. The company says the product won't be available to consumers until about June 2016 and there's no price confirmed. Like I said, just when I thought I'd seen it all. Now, they just need to create a fleshlight that attaches to your smartphone. Oops! Did I just say that out loud? 

HO-HO-HOLY CRAP! HOW MUCH?

     Since when did they ever charge to sit on Santa's lap? You'll be happy to learn that Cherry Hill, NJ has lifted their original charge of $35 to $50 to sit on Santa's lap after much outrage and ridicule from customers. Santa is free again!

     The South Jersey mall eliminated the pricey requirement on Monday, which included a photo or video package for kids to get into a Santa exhibit. The decision to charge for the attraction, which had been free last year, sparked anger from many parents, who some said the fee inherently pushed away low-income families and ran counter to the spirit of the holiday season. When we were kids, I remember going to see Santa was something we always looked forward to. My sister used to be scared shitless, but my parents used to takes us anyway. The idea to charge for such a thing is just lame. Those parents are right. Some families can't afford this type of charge and is it really the spirit of Christmas to charge for a photo with Santa? One mother of two complained, "He's locked up in his castle. You can't even see Santa." 

     The mall said it was lifting the fee for Adventures to Santa because it wanted to keep things festive in the spirit of the holiday season. Doh! That should have been a thought in the planning process. A spokesperson for the mall said, "We have heard and value our loyal customers' feedback and as a result, have decided to remove the photo package and purchase requirements." 

     The mall's North Pole exhibit features a large enclosure with digital panels for walls that block views of the jolly old fella. Pennsylvania Real Estate Investment Trust, which manages the mall, said the exhibit is one of the only 12 Adventure to Santa attractions in the country. Another mother complained before the company switch course, "I probably would have paid that much for pictures this year. It's just the fact that they're charging me for something that was free last year, something that should always be free." 

     If I remember correctly, the display also featured characters from the movie Shrek, as well as a virtual sleigh ride and a concert performed by elves. That's just what I remembered from last year. My wife and I never walked through it. I swear! And we would definitely not walk through it this year for $35 to $50. They were very smart to lift that requirement. They must of have Scrooge or the Grinch creating their Marketing plans. 

A LIFETIME OF ACHIEVEMENTS - WILLIAM C. LOUIE

     For those of you who were looking for a buzzkill blog today, you will have to wait until tomorrow. In yesterday's blog, I mentioned that I was attending an amazing event to honor my Uncle Will for his lifetime achievements in architecture as a Chinese American. As a family, we couldn't be more proud of this man, and I wanted to share with you last night's experience and little bit about my uncle and you'll understand why he has become such an inspiration to me and my the rest of my family. 

     Where do I begin? Well, my uncle, William C. Louie is the youngest of five children to two immigrants from China, who came to America seeking a better life for their family. My father being one of those five and those two immigrants, of course, being my late grandparents. The Louie family was raised in a laundrey, as cliche as that sounds, in the Bronx. According to my uncle's tribute video last night, they all lived in one small room in the back of the laundrey that was run by my grandparents. My uncle joked in the video that he actually missed living like that, which can explain his simple living style in the same apartment in Chinatown in NYC with my Aunt May for many decades. 

Mellon Bank in Philly

U.S. Federal  Court

     Uncle Will graduated from City College in New York with a bachelor's degree in architecture and joined the firm Kohn Pedersen Fox in 1977, a year after the firm was founded. Today, he is a partner at the firm and has built a legacy behind with world-famous buildings that are familiar to many of us. We just never knew it. Some of his projects include the 53-story Mellon Bank Center headquarters tower (pictured) in Philadelphia (which he pointed out to me at my wedding), the General Reinsurance Corporation Headquarters in Stamford, the twin Ventura towers in Rio de Janeiro, the recently completed Infinity Tower in Sao Paulo, Brazil and the Daniel Patrick Moynihan U.S. Federal Courthouse (pictured) in Manhattan, which received the U.S. General Service Administration's prestigious Design Excellence Award. I'm not even scratching the surface with his life's work. There is many more to mention, but I just wanted to mention some that you might recognize right away. 
 
     Last night at the Pierre Hotel in Manhattan, the Museum of Chinese in America, or MOCA, honored Uncle Will for his lifetime achievement in the architectural field. Actress Nancy Kwan, known for her role in Flower Drum Song and The World of Suzie Wong, was also honored for her lifetime achievement on stage and screen. I remembered her as Gussie Yang in one of my favorite films, Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. My uncle was in good company. Emceeing the evening was Melissa Lee from CNBC's Fast Money and actor B.D. Wong, known for his roles in Jurrasic Park, Law and Order, soon as Dr. Strange on the Fox TV hit, Gotham, and his Tony Award winning performance as Song Liling in M. Butterfly on Broadway. B.D. got a little choked up presenting the award to Nancy Kwan and rightfully so, since she opened the doors for Chinese-American actors. 

     The evening was kicked off my an amazing string quartet made up of four children. The youngest being 5-years-old playing modern music and rocking out on a cello of all instruments. As a musician, I was truly amazed. Also, in the audience was Olympic gold-medalist Michelle Kwan. MOCA did an amazing job with their event and I can't speak for the rest of my cousins, but the evening gave me a sense of pride and inspiration to be a Chinese American in this country. Seeing my uncle receive his award and hearing Nancy Kwan and my uncle talk about the risks that had to be taken for families to come to America really resonated with me giving me the urgency to learn more. If you haven't visited the Museum of Chinese in America in Chinatown New York yet, I highly recommend it. It's not only for Chinese Americans, I brought my brother-in-law and he was fascinated about what the Chinese went through to come here. It truly is a learning experience. My apologies if I got all "Hey, I'm Chinese American" with today's blog, but today more than any other day, thanks to my Uncle Will, I'm proud to say, "Hey, I'm Chinese American!" 

COUPLE DIES HAVING SEX IN A HOT TUB.....AT THEIR DAUGHTER'S WEDDING!

     Sorry, I know it's been a few days since I've blogged and I know all of you look so forward to my writing! Yeah right! The days have been pretty busy and tonight is no different. Tonight, I'm heading to New York City for a gala honoring one of the true great men in my life, my Uncle Will, who is being honored with a Lifetime Achievement Award for his work as an architect. This should be an amazing night for him and my entire family. I can only aspire to be half the man he is. 

     Okay, that being said, back to writing my raunchy and dirty blog! This story kind of freaked me out because after reading the story and looking at the pictures, the hotel looked kind of familiar. Let me just get to the story. So, a night of passion ended in tragedy last Tuesday when a Canadian couple died while having sex in a hotel hot tub during their daughter's destination wedding. Talk about a killbuzz! 

     67-year-old, Charles Mackenzie, suffered a heart attack and toppled over his wife Dorothy, drowning the 63-year-old as the two were making hot passionate love in the whirlpool spa at a Mexico resort. The couple was supposed to watch their 35-year-old daughter get married on the beach in two days until she made the terrible discovery Tuesday morning. Um, it's bad enough that she walked in on her parents naked and having sex, but to find them dead, naked and having sex takes it to a whole new level. Their deaths were deemed accidental and were believed to be linked.

     According to an official from the Mexican state of Quintana Roo (That's basically Cancun for you non-travelers), Dorothy died of asphyxia by submersion (she drowned) moments after her husband passed. The couple traveled from Nova Scotia to Playa del Carmen in Mexico (I still call it Cancun) to celebrate their daughter's big day. No word if the wedding still went on this past Thursday, but I doubt it. The family said they were too devastated to think that far ahead after the tragedy is what they told newspapers at the time of the couples death. Mackenzie's brother-in-law told one newspaper, "I know that they're more concerned about the remains and cremation and things like that. I don't really know about the wedding."

     A spokesperson for the Playacar Palace hotel dismissed an earlier report that the couple had been electrocuted in the hot tub. He told the press, "The room was perfectly fine. All the equipment was working perfectly." Well, of course, he would say that. What's he going to say? "Some of our equipment is questionable." The couples death is still under investigation. I have to say, if it wasn't on their daughter's wedding week, what a way to go! Talk about going out with a BANG! Too soon? 

EAT AT JOE'S.....THERE IS NO TIPPING ALLOWED!

     In the past, I've written blogs about cheap celebrity tippers and I've written about tippers looking to pay-it-forward by tipping a lot. I've seen the debates on my Facebook page about how tipping is not necessary and is just gratuitous, though some argued that it was necessary from the wait staff perspective because many waiters lived off of those tips. I realized there really was no right or wrong answer here. It all depends on the person who does the tipping. Either you have a heart or you don't The thing I normally get confused with is tipping when I pick up an order. There is a tip line on the receipt. Are they looking for a tip? Am I a douche for not tipping them? I usually leave that blank when I pick up my order. 

    That being said; Joe's Crab Shack has become the first restaurant chain to test out this new no-tipping policy. This will stop all debates and questions as to when to tip. How does the Texas-based seafood chain plan on making up for the lost tips? They think the answer is simple...Increase employee wages. According to the new policy, which was established under Ignite Restaurant Group, Crab Shack servers will start at a flat rate of $14 an hour instead of the standard $2.13 plus tips, and menu prices will increase 12 to 15 percent. 

     The gratuity-free model has already been tested at 18 restaurants in the chain since August, not including branches in the New York area. Ray Blanchette, CEO of Ignite Restaurants said in an email to the Daily News, "With this test, our team members are paid at a higher, fixed hourly rate, and credit card receipts no longer include a tip line. We are confident that this change will provide increased financial stability for our employees. A small price increase was taken to account for the added labor cost, but the policy is designed to benefit both guests and employees."

     The casual seafood chain, known for its colossal buckets of crab, is following in the footsteps of New York restaurateur, Danny Meyer from The Shake Shack, who implemented this same policy in his restaurant, The Modern. He hiked menu prices 20 to 25 percent and increased pay to servers, chefs and dish washers. So, far none of the New York City spots have put this policy into play yet and a Crab Shack rep says the company hasn't set a timeline for when they will roll it out, but no-tipping is on its way at Joe's Crab Shack.    

THE FORCE WAS WITH HIM

     I don't have a buzzkill today because I wanted to share this amazing story with you even though it ends sadly. You see, this was 32-year-old Daniel Fleetwood, a Texas Star Wars superfan whose dying wish was to watch Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Well, he got his wish and just this morning, he passed away. 

     His wife, Ashley confirmed his passing with a Facebook post, "He is now with God and with the force." She added, "Daniel put up an amazing fight to the very end. He passed in his sleep and in peace. He will always be my idol and my hero...Rest in peace my love." 

     Daniel, who suffered from spindle cell sarcoma, began campaigning to see the seventh installment of the Star Wars series after his doctors told him in July that he only had two months to live. With The Force Awakens opening on December 18, the longtime Star Wars fan had been worries he wouldn't live long enough to see the J.J. Abrams-directed movie before he was defeated by his terminal illness. He and and his wife campaigned on social media using the hashtag #ForceForDaniel and the campaign turned out to be a success. The legendary Mark Hamill, who reprises his role as the iconic Luke Skywalker in the new film and Peter Mayhew, who plays Chewbacca, voiced their support for Daniel to see the film early. Last week, director J.J. Abrams decided to allow Daniel to watch an unfinished version. Ashley confirmed the screening with her post last Thursday saying, "To all of our wonderful supporters, friends, family and awesome strangers: Daniel's final dream was just granted!" 

     Early this morning Daniel passed away. This is such an amazing story. J.J. Abrams just went up a notch in my book. My brother-in-law just reminded me that this story reminded him of the premise for the movie Fan Boys. For those who didn't see that film, it was about four Star Wars fans who set out to steal Phantom Menace (You know, the bad one with Jar Jar Binx). They find out that their friend is terminally ill and when they get caught breaking into George Lucas' compound, George Lucas allows the terminally ill friend to watch Phantom Menace before he died. That movie could have been Daniel's biography. Again, what an amazing story! May the Force be with you, Daniel Fleetwood!

    

TASTE THE BUSH.....UM, OKAY!

     So, the definition of a 'bushman' is of Australian in origin and it is one who travels or lives in the wilderness, especially in the outback. That being said; a new sexy slogan prompted a regulatory agency in the U.K. to ban an Australian wine company's TV ad because the agency used the phrase "you can almost taste the bush" was a reference to something much naughtier than wine. 

     Premiere Estates released a video featuring a woman talking up the company's wine, then placing a half-full glass of wine at a low table in front of her no-no area just before she says phrase, "Some say you can almost taste the bush." She then hesitates for a moment before she awkwardly looks down, picks up the glass and walks away. I see nothing wrong with this ad. In fact, as a person with an advertising degree, I thought this ad was pure genius! It caught my attention, was witty and extremely funny. The ad is obviously targeting adults who drink wine. So, why is this a problem? Only adults will understand this ad. 

     Premiere Estates also promoted this campaign on social media. A ruling issued last week by U.K.'s Advertising Standards Authority concluded most viewers would understand the "taste the bush" phrase to be a "to be a reference to oral sex, particularly given that it was accompanied with the image of the wine glass positioned directly in front of the woman's crotch." Because of that  context, "the ad presented the woman in a degrading manner," ASA also said. The agency also concluded consumers would understand the hashtag #TasteTheBush to be a double entendre that could refer to Australian wine or female genitalia. 

     The ASA received eight formal complaints about the ad campaign, including complaints from a wine promotion company and a charity dealing with alcohol-related issues. The wine company will not be allowed to run the ad in the U.K. Premiere Estates purports to work with independent retailer and specializes in location and selecting high quality, reasonably priced wines. 

     Like I said, I see nothing wrong with this ad. I think everyone needs to calm down. Besides, isn't the U.K. known for their risque ads? Why is this suddenly a problem. The English used to be known to have an amazing sense of humor. When did they get so snobby? If you want to see the commercial ad, here it is: