PUT A RING ON IT?

     What age do you stop experimenting when it comes to sex? Or self-love for that matter? I mean, I guess there is no real age limit to it, right? It seems these days men are always up for some weird experiments with their junk (not me!). I'm not sure why, but one such incident includes a laser procedure for whitening their genitalia. Yeah, no! 

     This particular incident took place in Lanarkshire, Scotland, and had a disastrous outcome. A 67-year-old man, who remained nameless, had seven curtain rings stuck on his junk, needed to be rushed to a hospital. It was revealed that the retiree had taken some Viagra and was apparently experimenting with the plastic rings as sex toys. Unfortunately, for the old man, when he decided that there was nothing fun about the curtain rings, he found that they were "jammed" on his privates and he found himself trapped. I guess he forgot to use some sort of lube like Vaseline? 

     Although, the ambulance was called, the paramedics failed to remove the rings. The fire crew was also called to try their luck with their special cutting equipment, which also sadly failed. When the crew arrived on the scene, the Viagra was at full strength according to one of the crew members, who stated, "He was in a lot of distress as he couldn't get them off!" Get it? He couldn't get them off or himself! The crew reassured the man that these things happen, but the 67-year-old was terribly freaked out. His penis was swelling and turning purple. People feared what would happen next. 


     The man was taken to the Wishaw General Hospital and the rings were removed using lubricants. Neighbors witnessed the whole episode and claimed that the man was indeed in pain, but as per reports, he wasn't hurt too badly. How do you face your neighbors after that? I would move out of the neighborhood! He's going to be known as the "Cock-Ring King" around Lanarkshire now! Forget going to a local pub! He is screwed! 

     These tales of woah are not the only incidents to happen recently. In November 2017, a 31-year-old man was rushed to the hospital after a small lock got stuck in his bladder when he tried pushing it up through his urethra. Ouuuuch! He had to be operated on, but he deserved that one! Moron! In London on December 2017, a man tried jumping over barriers to avoid paying and his genitals stuck, which left him in a compromising position. The man was eventually rescued by police officers. And in Germany, a man got his penis stuck in the hole of a 2.5 kg dumbbell plate in his gym. Firefighters used a hydraulic saw to actually cut the plate. Um, yeah, no! The point is, men (not me!) have some weird fascinations!