BEWARE OF THE BLACK WIDOW

     Alright, guys! Be ready to cringe and grab your crotches when you read this story. This one is no fun for anyone, man or woman. In fact, why am I still writing about this? 

     Anyway, do you remember they say, "Beware of the Black Widow?" Well, apparently in Sydney, Australia, you really need to beware of the Black Widow because of what happened to a 21-year-old construction worker who just went to pee in one of those port-a-johns. Apparently, he was bitten on the penis last Wednesday by a poisonous redback spider, a.k.a. the Black Widow. 

     According to one story in the Adelaide Advertiser, paramedics rushed to the scene, but the victim was able to get to the hospital on his own despite the bite on his package. Am I the only guy who would leave the venom in me if it made my package swell up to three times it's normal size? Can I get a "Hell Yeah"? Guess not. 

     The victim has since been released and is in stable condition. Now, he can only hope he has plenty of ice packs and is receiving comforting "sorry about your penis" cards from loved ones. 

     The female Black Widow has red markings and is toxic. It often lives in urban areas and results in 250 cases a year in Australia that require anti-venom, which was developed in the early 1950s. The venom can cause severe pain, nausea, excessive sweating and even convulsions. It's pretty poetic how the female redbacks are the poisonous ones.

     Earlier this month a 22-year-old man was believed to have died from complications from a redback bite, but before that no one was thought to have succumbed to the Black Widow. To be honest, I thought this only happened in movies. Who knew? I guess we all need to "Beware of the Black Widow!"

THE AVENGERS! WORTH THE HYPE! (NO SPOILER)

Since I couldn't make it to any of the red carpet events, last night was the next best thing! I'm talking about a midnight premiere of The Avengers! Don't worry! I'm not here to play spoiler and give the storyline away, but I have to admit staying up until 3 a.m. for this movie was worth it. I was also curious if it was worth the hype, and it was ten times over.

I feel that Marvel crapped all over their other superhero ensemble of X-Men with their ensemble of Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Captain America (Chris Evans), Bruce Banner/The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), and Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), otherwise known as The Avengers.

The writers for this movie did a fantastic job and the actors executed every punch line perfectly bringing out every one of their characters. You couldn't help loving the quirkiness of Tony Stark (Downey Jr.) or the beast that is The Hulk or the naivety of today's world in Captain America and Thor. It was just amazing chemistry running on all cylinders in this movie.

Thumbs up also go out to the villain Loki (Tom Hiddleston), who did a great job making you hate him as Thor's brother again. I really don't want to give too much away. One thing I do have to say is that after watching Mark Ruffalo portray Bruce Banner/The Hulk, I really hope that they consider rebooting The Hulk because Eric Bana and Ed Norton did it no justice. Ruffalo was perfect!

The movie was a little over two hours long, but you don't even realize it because there was so much action right from the beginning. The movie didn't slow down once! One thing I will tell you, though, stay until the very end! There are two post credit scenes that you won't want to miss, as they do in all Marvel movies! Definitely, spend the money to see the first of this season's blockbusters, The Avengers in 3D, if possible. The movie was totally worth the hype it's been receiving!