NOT IN MY TOWN

     Now, I'm not sure this is even legal, but leave it to New Jersey to find a way to scam more money from it's fellow statesmen. The sad part is I used to drive through this town all the time when I lived in Teaneck. Curious yet? 

     So, beginning next week, driving through Leonia, New Jersey could cost up to $200 as the jurisdiction tries to prohibit drivers from using apps like Waze and Google Maps to help drivers get around traffic. Um, hello! That's what GPS systems do. They try to get you around traffic. 

     For you non-NJ people, Leonia, a small suburb, sits just west of New York City and near the entrance to the George Washington Bridge leading into Manhattan and the Bronx. Because of the effect of GPS apps rerouting commuters through the town, it adopted an ordinance in November that effectively bans non-residents from driving through the town. How can you do that? What if I had family in that town and I used to live there, but changed my driver's license address because I live somewhere else now. So, now this prevents me from visiting my family? Wait! This might be brilliant! 

     The prohibition of the town's roads is from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. until 9 p.m. on weekdays. In order to access the roads, the driver must prove that they are residents of the street, needing access to their home or can demonstrate or document a need to access a residence on the street or parts of streets as described. According to NJ.com, this law has drawn anger from neighboring town and drivers. It also attracted questions to its legality. 

     Jeanne LoCicero, deputy legal director of the ACLU-NJ (American Civil Liberties Union) says, "This plan gives enormous power to police officers. People who are traveling safely down the street should not be subject to law enforcement. It's intrusive. It's hard to imagine that Leonia could enforce this in a way that didn't discriminate."

     Town leaders said something has to be done to calm traffic in the area. Police Chief Thomas Rowe said, "We have a lot of vehicles that leave the highway to the bridge and use Leonia as a bypass or to cut through up to Fort Lee. This is a public safety issue." Rowe continued to blame the influx of traffic-avoiding apps, which has caused traffic within town to snarl. Seriously? Blame the people who built the roads way back when. Why should people trying to avoid traffic be penalized? I bet if Police Chief Rowe was late for an appointment in the City, he wouldn't want to be sitting in traffic and would try to find a quicker way. GPS app or not, it's only natural to find a quicker way to avoid traffic. No one....and I repeat....No one likes to sit in traffic!

     Leonia is currently working with app developers like Waze to try and help enforce the new statute. If you ask me, this is one of the silliest things I've ever heard, and those who voted this in back in November, I can't wait until they're stuck in traffic and are looking for a quicker way out.  

SLEEPING IN THE NUDE MAKES FOR A HAPPIER RELATIONSHIP

     I knew it! I've been saying this all along! Taking off your clothes before bed (not just down to your underwear. In the nude!) can lead to a happier relationship. According to this recent study, it can lead to a happier relationship in more ways than one. I've been telling my fiancee this since the beginning of our relationship. Let's just say we're very happy!

     A survey was launched by Cotton USA of 1,000 Brits asking them what they wear to bed and how happy they were in their relationship. Fifty-seven percent of those who reported sleeping in the nude said they felt happy, compared to the 48% of pajama wearers and 43% of nightie wearers. People who wore onesies were the unhappiest in their relationship, reporting in at 15%. WHAT? What adult still wears onesies? Did any of you even catch that? I thought onesies for adults with the flap in the back for pooping went out with the 1800s. 

     A Cotton USA spokesperson, Stephanie Thiers-Ratcliffe said in a release that being nude encouraged being intimate and open because of soft bedding and skin-to-skin contact. If you ask me, the skin-to-skin contact is the only reason. Soft bedding has nothing to do with me being happy! A Manhattan-based therapist and relationship expert (They have those?), Amber Madison wasn't surprised by the findings. She said, "Being naked in bed with your partner is physically and emotionally intimate. It's a way of showing, 'I want to be close to you' and a green light for sex. That intimacy and emotional and physical availability is what keeps a relationship strong in light of daily stressors and challenges." 

     The study also looked at general sleeping habits and relationships. Some results included dirty clothes on the floor, clutter and beds left unmade are big turn-offs. Eating in bed, allowing pets in the bedroom, stealing the covers and wearing socks to sleep were also listed as big pet peeves for some of the participants. Thiers-Ratcliffe added that there are many factors which can affect the success of a relationship, but one factor which is often overlooked is the bedroom environment. On the topic of cotton since the survey was done by Cotton USA, the material was said to imply cleanliness, while satin implied wealth (but also sleaziness) and polyester implied cheapskates. I don't think I've ever slept on a polyester bed sheet, but I have slept on cotton and satin. Does that make me a rich and clean sleazebag? Oh by the way, the majority who took this survey were over 55, so there you have it! It's our parents who sleep in the nude. Well, that's if you see that their relationship is a happy one, just so you know; you're parents sleep naked. If they're as miserable as mine, it's okay; they still sleep with their clothes on. How's that for a visual!

SIMON SAYS, "I CAN'T WAIT TO EAT IT!"

Who said that you couldn't creep once you hit your 70s? 73-year-old, Richard Simon doesn't seem to have any problems with it and now he's being sued for it. A Manhattan woman, Amanda Gonzalez, 22, is suing Simon, whom she claims subjected her to five months of sexual harassment that culminated when he grabbed her crotch and leered, "I can't wait to eat it." What? Now, that takes balls of steel! It doesn't matter how old you are! Gonzalez said in a statement that she wants to warn all of the women of New York about this dangerous, old man so he doesn't hurt anyone else.

Simon, a Garment District business owner, pleaded guilty in 2012 to one count of misdemeanor sexual abuse and was allowed to slip back into his New Jersey home without any jail time. He wasn't even required to register as a sex offender. Gonzalez said that the creepiness started when she interviewed for a secretarial job back in 2011 with Simon, where he asked her if she had a boyfriend and how she felt about abortion. Unfortunately, Gonzalez needed a job and started the $22,500-a-year job a month later. In the coming months, Simon, allegedly, made comments about Gonzalez's body, calling it "voluptuous" and "chesty" and telling her that she had a "big butt." 

Soon, Simon started demanding that Gonzalez start modeling new clothes for him, and since she feared losing her job, she complied with his demands. According to the suit, Simon told Gonzalez that he needed to know that she would do whatever it took to get a promotion. Supposedly, Gonzalez complained to Simon's business partner, who only warned her not to worry because "his penis doesn't work."

In March of last year, Simon summoned Gonzalez to his office and asked her if she "would do anything" for him. According to court papers, Gonzalez was stunned by the question as she stood there in fear, while Simon began groping her body. When he grabbed her crotch and whispered, “I can't wait to eat it!” Gonzalez ran out of the office and called the police. According to Gonzalez's attorney, she's a young, very sweet woman who wanted to get into the working world, make a living and move up in the world. This was her first full time job. Instead, Gonzalez received a working experience that was so traumatizing that she is now paranoid about everything. She's afraid to get a new job or walk down the street in fear that someone will grab her. Gonzalez's attorney went on to say, "Some people think that just because you work for them that this is the kind of behavior is not assault, it's not illegal, but it is." 

That statement is so true. I recently worked for a prom dress shop in Linwood, NJ, that was family owned. The daughter was the store manager, while the son ran the web content. He's who I worked for. At first, he seemed like a nice guy, but set so many rules in the work place, which might have been good for a high school student, but not for someone with my experience and background. For me, a red flag could've been the fact that we were asked to sign an agreement prohibiting the use of our cell phones or personal emails while in the office. This was a communications job, but we were not allowed to use cell phones or our own email service. My point in telling this story was that whenever any of us didn't abide by the rules, we were literally yelled at by the son of the company, who was a real son of a bitch! Yet, he was always on his cell phone with his girlfriend and on different websites searching for personal items. Yes, he was the owner's son, but what's good for the goose, right? Anyway, I left the company because I felt that just because I worked for this guy, he saw fit to treat me like I was below him. I know for a fact that I was older than he was; I had more experience than he did, and I probably could've kicked his ass. Now, I wasn't sexually assaulted, but I was verbally and that's why that quote by the attorney really resonated with me. Maybe I should've claimed that he sexually assaulted me? I would own that dress shop!

FIRED FOR HER BIG BOOBS!

 Is it a crime to be too sexy and have big boobs when you're at work? She someone be fired for being blessed in the breast area? Well, according to Lauren Odes, of Manalapan, NJ, it is possible to be fired for being too sexy and have big boobs! And here's the kicker! She worked at a lingerie distributor in the garment district of Manhattan! So, let's do the math really quick; she claims that she was fired from her job at a lingerie distributor for being too hot and too busty? Does this even make sense? I had to take a look at this girl to see if she even had a case, and what did I see? A beast! Who the hell told this woman that she was too hot or too sexy? Big boobs? Yeah, because she needs to hit a gym! Who the hell is this girl fooling? Can someone tell her that people get fired when they don't know how to do their job, and whomever it was that told her to sue because she was fired for being too good looking, should be shot!

 Anyway, her story is that after getting hired in April, a supervisor told Odes the Orthodox Jewish owners were not happy with her attire, saying that she was "too hot and her breasts were too large!" Odes claims that she was in shock because she thought that she was dressed appropriately every day for her job as a production assistant. According to Odes, she was dressed in a purple mini-dress with side zippers when she interviewed for the job. 

Odes has since filed a federal complaint, but intends to file a lawsuit alleging gender and religious discrimination. The pint-sized brunette with platinum streaks said she was wearing a dress when the female supervisor first said that she was too sexy for the job. The next day she wore a gray t-shirt and black leggings with rain boots, but the bosses still complained. The supervisor suggested taping down her breasts to make them appear smaller. Wait what? So, does this mean she's the only woman in the workforce with big boobs? I don't think so! This girl obviously had them out for the world to see for this company to ask something so silly! My girlfriend is well-endowed and she covers up pretty well when she's in a professional office. It starting to sound like Miss Odes has no idea what it means to dress professionally. 

Odes was also given a choice to buy a sweater that comes to her ankles or cover up in a bright red bathrobe (pic above) the supervisor pulled off the rack. When she chose the robe, her co-workers laughed at her all day. So, she went weeping to buy another outfit, and was fired while she was out shopping! Okay, that's not right! You make the girl go out to shop for another outfit and then you give her the axe? Odes, who is also Jewish, stated that she doesn't feel that any employer has the right to impose their religious beliefs on her. Well, in this case, it doesn't sound like they were. It sound like they hired her to be a professional, and she kept dressing unprofessionally. To me, it sounds like she has no case here. As far as being too sexy? Get over yourself! Try going on a diet and losing some of that weight. Maybe your boobs won't be as big! And if you do lose this case, good luck finding another job! No company in their right mind will hire a liability like you now.

If we remember back in 2010, Debrahlee Lorenzana had a similar case. She was a banker who was supposedly fired by Citigroup for her killer curves. Though, I doubt that was the reason either, at least, Lorenzana had a good enough reason to believe that she was because she was a great looking girl compared to this beast! Some people have some nerve, and the irony is that she'll probably get a huge pay day because her former Orthodox Jewish employers won't want the attention. Then again, you know the stereotype! Good luck getting any money from your Orthodox Jewish former employers!