EXPLODING BOOBS

     So, what straight man does not like to look at nicely shaped, round, big, fake boobs? Believe it or not, I have a few friends who prefer the small boobs, but in general men like the big fake ones. Well, what if those fake boobs you were enjoying just exploded internally on a woman? Pretty gross, right? Not so nice to look at anymore, huh? 

     That's what happened to Kim Brockhurst from Wales. Brockhurst claims that she didn't even want the double D-sized breasts. Her original plan was to go up two cup sizes, but she "ended up with these big heavy breasts," which were much bigger than she'd asked for. That's not the only mistake her surgeon made, however. Nine years later, her girls (her boobs) just didn't look right. She said, "My breasts slowly went out of shape - it was a terrible time." Here's where things get a little screwy because nothing could have prepared her for what happened next. Brockhurst's nearly $7,000 implants burst inside her body, leaking industrial-strength silicon into her. 51-year-old, Brockhurst, a fitness instructor, had to have reconstructive surgery to fix the faulty Poly Implant Prosthese, or PIP, implants, which medically were not authorized. 

     PIP went into liquidation in 2010 after all of its products were recalled. The company had been using silicone intended for mattresses. About 400,000 women worldwide were affected by the defective implants. Brockhurst couldn't afford the reconstructive surgery because the British medical system wouldn't cover all of it. So, a reality show called "Botched Up Bodies" fronted the bill and filmed her story. She said in one of the clips, "It was awful knowing I couldn't afford that surgery but all the whole I had silicone leaking into my body. I still don't know where it's gone and that's a real worry." 


     During the the surgery, the silicone came out "like milk." She said that it was disgusting to watch, but she's very happy to have the implants out of her. Her post-reconstructive surgery breasts are now 34D, which are still a very nice size and I would totally take a glance if I saw them. If I'm not mistaken, something like this happened to former WWE wrestler Joanie Lauer aka Chyna. I remember reading that one of her implants burst during a match and she had to be rushed to a hospital for surgery. I wonder if this is a common thing for women with implants? I mean, after all, it is pretty gross to have some foreign fluids in your body that aren't supposed to be there. It's a pretty big risk to get those implants, but oh so nice to look at.

WHAT A BOOB!

Wow! Drug smugglers will spare no expense when it comes to smuggling drugs into a country, huh? I mean, we've heard about shoving balloons filled with crack or heroine up your butt, cutting open teddy bears and filling them up with bags of coke, and even carrying fake babies filled with cocaine onto a plane. This one is a first, though! So, apparently a drug mule has been busted for trying to smuggle 1.3 kilos of cocaine into Spain in her breasts. Wait a minute! I just made two rhymes in the last two sentences: "cocaine onto a plane" and "cocaine into Spain".

Anyway, drug traffickers forced a woman to undergo surgery where two bags of coke were inserted beneath her skin like breast implants. That's right! They weren't placed in her bra or anything. They were surgically placed like silicone for breast implants. The unidentified woman was stopped earlier this month at Barcelona's El Prat airport, following a flight on Colombia's Avianca airline from Bogota, after police discovered that she was acting a little funny. During a strip search by airport security, they found a blood soaked bandage covering her chest, which she admitted was the result from the operation to put the packets of the toxic drug into her body. What an idiot!

According to police, the arrest most likely saved the woman's life because she may have not survived much longer with the amount of cocaine in her body. They also stated that the woman was in a very bad state when she arrived at the airport in Spain. She said she was not in any pain, but her wounds looked very bad. Police also said that this was the first time that they've ever seen drugs hidden inside the breast of a woman. No shit! This might be the first time that anyone has seen this tactic, which was absolutely disgusting and really could've been hazardous to this woman's health. Then again she was only a drug mule! What the hell do they care? Dare I say, "What a boob?" 

BOOBY TRAP?

This story actually came out last week, but since today is all about the Election, I figured I'd get this weird story out there. By the way, get out there and vote today! If you don't, you really have no right to say anything about our future! Anyway, get this story; a Texas police officer allegedly threw a woman against her car during a traffic stop and manhandled her so roughly that one of her breast implants ruptured. WHAT? Is this even possible? The only time that I've ever heard this happen was in the WWE when Chyna aka Joanie Lauer ruptured her breast during a house show. The difference is Chyna is a wrestler. Does this mean if this girl is manhandled during sex, she has to worry about her boob popping? I'm not sure I believe this!

So, Rebecca Van Hooser, from Arlington, Texas, is claiming that a Pantego cop, Eric Alverez, pulled her over, while she was out buying cookie dough, for a busted headlight when he discovered a warrant for her arrest due to an unpaid speeding ticket. Apparently, she got out of the car; the officer grabbed her, threw her against the car, kicked her legs open to spread them, and forcefully grabbed her arms and yanked them behind her back. Van Hooser is said to be suing the Pantego Police Department for the October 28, 2011 incident, which she is claiming caused her right breast implant to split and leak fluid into her body. 

 Van Hooser's attorney is also alleging that the arrest has led to several medical issues including two hematomas as a result and that now she has to have a partial mastectomy tissue transplant and new boobs. There's been no comment from the Pantego Police Department. Is it me or is this story a little far-fetched? Don't get me wrong, I believe that when you put a foreign object in your body, there's bound to be accidents, but breast implants? Really? Unless, she had the cheap implant job, how can this happen from a little rough housing? I'm no fake-boob expert, though, I've felt many....and I mean many...in my day, but I just can't picture this happening from a little roughness. Any thoughts?