BATTER UP!

     I received this story yesterday from my friend, Scott, right after I wrote yesterday's blog about girth. This story was so good that I figured I'd save it for today. So, most of you obviously know my fascination with teachers and students having sex, right? Well, this is sort of a strange twist to my fascination. 

     It turns out; a father from Maryland decided to take matters into his own hands last week after discovering an inappropriate and potential sexual relationship between a 42-year-old teacher and the man's 15-year-old daughter, by beating the teacher with a baseball bat. THAT...IS...AWESOME! Now, just to clear things up a little bit; there was no sexual intercourse that took place...yet, but it according to the text messages, they may have been heading down that road. 

     The unnamed Maryland parents came across a string of several dozen inappropriate texts between their teenage daughter and her, apprently, horny teacher. When the teacher showed up on the family's front porch wanting to talk to the girl, the father came out swinging with a bat that I'm sure he got at Bat Day at Camden Yards. Anyway, what kind of balls do you have to have to show up at the girl's house? Even if you weren't trying to court her? Don't teacher's just make phone calls to the house? This guy definitely had a screw loose. 

     The parents are said to have confronted their daughter at around 3 a.m. Thursday morning when they came across the texts, which were described by the police as "an emotional relationship that seemed inappropriate for a teacher and student." Wait a minute! What the hell were the parents doing confronting the girl at 3 in the morning? Don't people sleep? Confront her when she wakes up! That's what my parents used to do. No, let's pick a fight with our daughter at 3 a.m. I think everyone is nuts in this story! Anyway, at around 9:45 a.m., the teacher, allegedly, showed up at the family's door without permission "looking to talk" to the teenager. That's when the father demanded that he leave the premises. When he refused, the father proceeded to hit him with a baseball bat a number of times. 

     According to the police report, the sleazy and horn-ball teacher sustained only minor injuires, which means the father didn't hit hard enough, and did not press charges, which means...GUILTY! The family has been advised to file a restraining order and if the teacher returned to the home, he will be arrested. I guess after seeing this story, I've come to the realization that only the female teacher and young male student stories are the ones that really fascinate me. When it's the other way around, the story isn't as appealing. The male teacher with the female student seems a tad bit more creepy and almost predator-ish, which leads me to the fact that the father reacted in a way that I may have. As for the young boys, banging their teachers; come on! Take one for the team and keep your mouths shut and tell your boys the story, not your parents you morons!

SIZE DOES MATTER....KIND OF

     Not that I've ever had this problem, but apparently to my brethren out there, to answer the age old question about size mattering; I guess it really really does...somewhat. You see, according to a new study, when it comes to one night stands, ladies are looking for girth, and not length.

     Researchers recently asked 41 women to examine 3D-printed penises of varying sizes and to then select the model they would prefer for a one-time partner. They were also told to choose the model they would prefer for a long-term lover. The blue models cam in 33 different sizes and ranger from 4 inches long and 2.5 inches in circumference to 8.5 inches long and 7 inches in circumference. For the love of God! Who the hell is built like that? The models that the participants chose for one night stands had larger girths (circumferences) than those picked for long-term relationships. Length did not seem to make a difference at all in this study. The women on an average preferred 6.5 inch penises for both types of relationships. Looks like I'm above average. That's good to know! 

     The study, which was presented at a meeting of the Association for Pyshological Science, also found that women tent to overestimate the size of 3D-printed penises that they had just looked at. Do they really conduct these experiments all over? I mean does that age old question really matter? I didn't really want to blog about this, but I thought that it was kind of funny that sometimes men are worries about their size, when now according to these studies, women really want thickness than size. So, a guy could be like 3.5 inches in length, but as long as he's like 5 to 6 inches in thickness, he's good to go when it comes to a one night stand. I am sitting here shaking my head as I type this, but did you really want to hear about Tracy Morgan or The Tony Awards and another baby smoking cigarettes in China or a even another teacher having sex with her students? I guess talking about penis sizes just never gets old.  

COOLEST BEDROOM EVER!

     Now, I love my fiancee more than anything in the world and there is absolutely nothing that I would give up for her. That's how I know I'm in love. This guy in the picture not so much. He let his fiancee leave so he can build his own old-school arcade in his apartment bedroom. Personally, if she couldn't compromise and like what he liked, then she probably wasn't for him anyway. Then again, if he was willing to let her go that easily so he can have what he wanted, he probably wasn't in love with her anyway. I have to admit, though; This room is cool as hell, but might be better fit as just a "man cave!" 

     This is Chris Kooluris from Murray Hill, New York. He transformed the bedroom of his Murray Hill apartment into an old-school arcade, then watched his fiancee walk out of his life. Now, the only scoring he's doing is on his Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, and Tron machines. Kooluris did say that he learned a valuable lesson in all this every time he fiddles with that joystick, however. He says, "If you're going through relationship issues, you need to invest time in the relationship and work on it. Do not work on your arcade more than your relationship." He might be right, but there are complicated emotions at work when 37-year-old man sells his bed and furniture and spends $26,000 to build an arcade. 

     The story began, as many complicated emotions do, with love. Koorluris moved in with his fiancee to her place in Brooklyn and put his own apartment on the market, but three things happened that would change Kooluris' life forever. First, the apartment didn't sell. Second, he began feeling claustraphobic living in his fiancee's apartment with all HER stuff. That's a huge red flag! Third, he happened to stumble upon a sci-fi novel called Ready Player One, which was about the 1980s video game culture. He says, "The boook just blew me away. It awakened something in me and I started thinking that I can't believe I'm bit surrounded by all these things that I grew up loving." So, he decided to transform his old living quarters into his own personal Candy Land. 

     Kooluris became a real-life Pac-Man himself, gobbling up everything he could about the arcade culture. He spent hours online with other obsessive gamers. He custom-built a four-player panel board that houses thousands of games from Street Fighter II to Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. He invested thousands of dollars in first edition Transformers action figures and he installed a high-score board. Somewhere in there is when his fiancee finally said, "Game Over!" Here's the cool part of the story, though. Chris is not the loser in this game. He's not a blubbery, unemployed fanboy, who lacks in social skills or hygiene. He's actually fit and outgoing. He's also a senior VP at a global public relations firm. In fact, he helped engineer the release of Guns 'N' Roses 2008 release Chinese Democracy through a Dr. Pepper promotion. He just happens to love his video games. 

     Moving back into his apartment without a bed was not ideal, so he bought a foam topper for his pullout futon, along with a set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bed sheets and a matching blanket. Now, he invites friends over for weekly game nights. Needless to say, they think his home arcade is the greatest place ever! I would too! Kooluris' fiancee may be out of the picture, but he can't forget the woman who inspired his apartmentcade. He says, "Now that my fiancee and I are no longer together, it's hard to enjoy the room as much as I want to. I always end up thinking about her."  

     Could this just be a phase that Kooluris is going through? I mean, once this whole arcade thing runs it's course, will he want his fiancee back? After all, when you're in your 30s, friends do start to disappear and start having families of their own. Will he be kicking himself in the ass if and when that happens? I'm curious to see what happens to Kooluris in a few years. I wouldn't be telling you the truth if I didn't say that I'm also curious to see his bedroom arcade, either! The place is probably like a museum. If you want to play in his arcade, you can email him at bedroomarcadenyc@gmail.com.  

WEEKEND AT BONNIE'S?

     This is a pretty disturbing story. Many of you might remember the 80s flick, Weekend at Bernie's, right? It's about two guys going to their boss's summerhouse for a party and the boss ends up dead, but the two guys don't want to let anyone know that he's dead, so they would prop his corpse up in any way that they can depending on the situation. Well, that kind of sort of happened to this Detroit man. 

     This is Ray Tomlinson and he says that love drove him to road-trip across the country with his girlfriend's corpse in the passenger seat. Yes, that's pretty sick! Tomlinson arrived in back in Michigan on Monday night after driving from Arizona with his 93-year-old mother and his dead girlfriend. His 31-year-old girlfriend died during the road-trip. Determined not to leave her body alone in a hospital and convinced that he had 48 hours to report her death, Tomlinson decided to keep driving and her home to Michigan. He claims, "I cared too much for her."

     Police have not determined a cause of death yet, but said that it could have been a drug overdoes because she was found with an empty bottle of OxyContin. Tomlinson has not been charged with anything and foul play is not suspected. 62-year-old, Tomlinson said that he met the woman, who was homeless, last year while she waited for her boyfriend to get out of prison. He helped her get back on her feet and he let her stay with him. Then, Tomlinson said that he went to Arizona with his mom for the winter and the girl met him there, where they became a couple. The woman was apparently hospitalized at least nine times in Arizona for mental health and drug problems. The couple left to head back to Michigan with Tomlinson's mother after the woman was released from a facility with several drug prescriptions, including one of the Oxys. Then, somewhere in Oklahoma or Texas, the woman was said to have died. 

      Tomlinson was determined to make it back to Michigan, even after an employee from the Arizona hospital learned about what happened when she called to check on her. Tomlinson answered the call, explained the situation and said he'd contact police when he got home. What the hell? By the time, he made it to Michigan, the body had already begun to decompose. Tomlinson told officers that he thought he had 48 hours to report the death. I don't know about you, but I don't even like going to funerals and having to be in a room with a corpse, let alone drive 48 hours with one next to me in the passenger seat. What the hell is wrong with people. I mean, he and his mom had to have stopped for food. What'd they do? Put a blanket over her when they went into a restaurant? Or did they leave her in the car and let people believe she was just sleeping in the passenger seat. The whole thing just sounds so messed up. Also, aren't dead bodies supposed to be put on ice so they don't decompose? 

     Anyway, Tomlinson admitted that he could have done things differently, but was overcome with denial and grief after her death. He says, "I just lost a very close friend." Yeah, and you're sick in the head too! Who in their right mind would drive the width of the United States with a dead body next to them in the passenger seat? I'll tell you who! NOT ME! Sicko!

SHE RAPED HIM?......COME ON!

     With all of the teacher banging students links that I get a day now, I figured I'd finally oblige since I find this one was a little odd. It turns out; this Queens gym teacher (in the middle) is being accused of raping a student wrestler and then having a year-long affair with him and also bedding a second student. Um, what? She raped a 16-year-old boy? So, to me, rape means forcing sex on someone who doesn't want it. Are we supposed to believe that he didn't want it? Was he trying to push her off every time she tried to touch his longfellow? The best part is they had a year-long affair! Did she rape him for a whole year? Come on! It was obviously consensual and someone's feelings are hurt now. That's if any banging was even done at all!

     Hours after Joy Morsi, 39, from Massapequa, Long Island, pleaded not guilty to charges of raping the Grover Cleveland High School student, additional charges were expected after a second student lover came forward. The relationship with the wrestler at the Ridgewood school began in June 2013, when Morsi began trying to help him lose weight. This is when she allegedly abandoned her role as mentor and emailed the boy asking if he was a virgin. She also allegedly sent him raunchy selfies of herself. On June 5 of last year, Morsi lured the alleged victim into a "secluded closet" in the school gym where the two had a sexual encounter. I still don't hear anything about the boy fighting her off. For the next six weeks, 20 to 30 more encounters occurred, including hookups in her car. Okay so it went on for six weeks and they are still calling this rape? I mean I get the underage thing, but it seemed like the boy wanted it just as bad as she did. How is the boy not any fault at all and why is he giving up all this info on her? He had sex with a hot and horny gym teacher for a year! I don't get kids today!

     Morsi is being accused of sexually preying upon one of her students during rendezvous all over the school. The student turned 17 during the nearly year-long tryst, which makes all alleged encounters legal. The moron...I mean victim alerted authorities two weeks ago after Morsi became jealous when he scored a prom date. Is it at all possible that this kid is making it up so he can get this teacher out of the way because maybe she did show signs of jealousy, but maybe they never even had sex? Is it possible that the teacher maybe just had a crush on the student and the jealousy came out, so the student drummed up a scenario like this since there are so many "I had sex with my teacher" stories? Just something to think about.

     The stone-faced teacher did not comment after being ordered held on $25,000 bail. She is facing charges of third-degree rape, third-degree criminal sexual act and one count of endangering the welfare of a child. Details about the second student were not available, but I bet the two boys were friends. Mark my words!  Morsi's husband, Hany, attended the hearing but did not accompany her as she left the courtroom. He teaches science at the same school. Students at the school said rumors had been swirling about Morsi and the student because they were always seen together, but they never touched each other sexually in public except for the occasional hug in the hallway. 

     Morsi's attorney said that she would fight this case. She said, "My client's ties to the community have been verified. Her husband is here. She has a family and children. She's very likely to see this through." Morsi started working as a gym teacher in 1999 and has a clean discipline record and earns $79,000 a year, according to public records. She has since been suspended from her teaching post and if convicted, Morsi faces up to four years in prison. 

     Okay, if this kid made this up, what a douchebag he is to ruin a woman's reputation and her family. If he is telling the truth, what a douchebag he is for saying anything at all! Dude! You banged your hot teacher for a year! SHUT YOUR MOUTH! Kids today are so dumb! If I was back in school, man, I would having a field day right now! Who knew teachers were so damn horny?

OPERATION ASIAN EYES....WHY?

     All I can ask is why? When I was younger, I always hoped that my eyes weren't as small as most Asians and now people actually want to have operations to make their eyes as small as Asians. What is wrong with this world? My fiancee has a friend, whom we traveled to Shanghai with, and she is infatuated with the Asian culture. She's a Hungarian woman who loves anything Asian from the men to the food to even the martial arts. We often joked with her about having an operation on her eyes to make her look more Asian like me. That's why when I read this story, I literally almost fell off of my chair. 

     It turns out; Brazilian man  had hyaluronic acid injected into his eyes to make himself look Asian. WHAT? More like WHY? 25-year-old, Xiahn Nishi, who previously went by the name Max, studied in South Korea and loved the culture so much that he decided to alter his eyes to reflect that. WHY? If he wanted to reflect something, he should have gotten a tattoo or something! Why go from full screen to wide screen? It makes no sense! Anyway, he found a doctor to permanently close the inner corners of his eyes and inject the acid, which is often used in cosmetic procedures, to plump them up. Nishi, allegedly, went through 10 procedures to get this look. What a moron!

     Nishi, a former model, said, "Most people change their natural look every day with makeup. It's the same thing with plastic surgery. If someone uses makeup they cannot say anything about plastic surgery." Whatever! Across Asia, it's common for women to get plastic surgery to "Westernize" their appearance, where they opt for the double eyelid surgery (don't tell my sister that! hee hee!), chin implants and other procedures. Nishi is the first patient that we've heard of to undergo this opposite type of surgery. 

     Despite the permanent eyelid-closing procedure, the acid in Nishi's eyes will only last a couple years. He admitted that he is not sure yet if he will repeat the injections. Nishi also said that he he hasn't modeled in 10 years, but has been approached by a South American company that sells Asian-styled clothes to get back in the game. He has also been approached by more than a thousand people who want to copy his look. I don't get it! WHY? I had my balls busted when I was growing up because of these eyes! Why would anyone want them? I'm comfortable with them now and yes, the ballbusting has stopped, but WHY?

     Nishi, still, insists that he's not trying to become Asian. He says, "I don't see myself like an Asian. I think I'm something in between." What the hell does that mean? Dude, you're Brazilian who is a "wannabe" for God knows whatever reason! You changed your name to an Asian name, your eyes look Asian, and I'm sure you eat Asian food! You're just a "wannabe"! Just like all of those white kids who try to dress like black rappers = "wannabes." I just don't get it!

DO YOUR CO-WORKERS HATE YOU?

     As kids graduate college and enter the real world landing corporate jobs, they will soon realize that corporate America is not what it's cracked up to be. I mean to be brutally honest, anyone who works a corporate job is an absolute phony! There I said it. When I graduated with a second bachelor's degree a couple of weeks ago from Rowan University, I noticed the excitement in these kid's faces. The excitement was of promise in their future. What they didn't realize is that the people they will be facing in their future will absolutely dislike them behind their backs and be really nice to them to their faces. Or in some cases, they will just bully them until they want to quit or are fired. 

     A new research shows half of workers in large companies don't like their coworkers. Figures from office space provider Regus show 49 percent of people in companies with more than 250 staff don't really like their coworkers. It's significantly more than the 16 percent of people in companies with less than 49 staff who admitted to disliking their colleagues. The top reasons for disliking coworkers included having a poor work ethic, unable to do their job, and overpowering and controlling. Employees also didn't like colleagues when they were perceived as being too precious to work hard, while small business workers detested colleagues who were difficult to manage.

      Well, I hate to say it, but this happens everywhere. I have a little story that has to deal with coworkers who hate and it's not a good one. Someone very close to me (it's not me) has been dealing with corporate bullying and jealous coworkers for the past five years. They picked up and moved for this job from another state, only to be sexually harassed, verbally abused and threatened on a daily basis. This person only reported to the Human Resources department once about the verbal abuse, but realizing that HR was willing to do nothing about it, this person decided to keep their mouth shut about everything else and chose not to cause any waves because they did not want to lose their job since they had bills and a mortgage to pay. So, they continued to endure the abuse. To make a long story short, this person was eventually fired from their position because of false claims and now the company is trying to sue them for every penny them have on many false claims. I feel terrible for this person and it is pretty apparent that the people who were bullying them in the work place continue to bully them even after they've been fired. I mean seriously. Enough is enough! 

     The bottom line is that people are evil. You can work anywhere and you can be really good at your job, but there will be someone there who is super jealous of you. Not everyone is going to like you and if you feel uncomfortable in a position because you think coworkers don't like you, then leave. That company is not worth your talents. There's a company out there that is worthy of it. I hope my friend gets through this. They are really good people and worst of all they are trying to get married, which this company knows making them seem more evil! Corporate bullies, they're never happy until someone's dead. Douchebags! Did I just make this blog too personal? I was going somewhere with this.....I swear!