FROM WU-TANG TO NO DONG CLAN

     This story came out yesterday and it kind of disturbed me....Okay, not "kind of"...It really disturbed me! And it's not just because I liked the rap group Wu-Tang Clan; it's because of the actions Christ Bearer, aka Andre Johnson, decided to take in an attempt to end his life. Let me see if I can explain this right. So, Wu-Tang Clan-affiliated rapper, Johnson cut off his penis before he leaped off of the second-floor balcony of his North Hollywood apartment in an attempt to kill himself. The bad news is that he didn't succeed and now reports are saying that his penis is gone for good because doctors cannot reattach it. Um, ouch!

     Johnson was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after he apparently flayed mini-Johnson during his bizarre suicide bid early Wednesday morning. Doctors are said to have attempted to reattach the foot long (just kidding), but have been unsuccessful. I have to be honest, as I write this; I really have no sympathy for the Christ Bearer because who does this? First of all, who cuts off their own penis? Come on! Someone who is mentally unstable. What did your penis ever do to you except give you nothing but pure enjoyment. Second, I respect no one who tries to kill themselves. You have no respect for yourself? Why should I have any for you? Thirdly, if you were going to kill yourself, why would you do it out of a second floor window? If your going to do it, do it right and go to the rooftop and jump. Jumping out of the second floor only leads to injuries and unsuccessful suicide attempts like this.

     Anyway, neighbors who witnessed the attempt said that Johnson managed to get back to his feet after taking the plunge from his balcony shortly before 1 a.m. The baffled neighbors said that no one in the apartment was doing any hard drugs that would cause him to even do such a thing. The EMT found Johnson laying on the ground in a pool of blood outside the building before they rushed him to the hospital, where he remains in critical condition. The snake, I mean severed Johnson was transported to the hospital a short time later, but the thing could not be reattached.

     Johnson is a member of the group, Northstar, which was discovered by Wu-Tang member RZA in 1998. The producer backed the duo for their 2004 debut album, RZA Presents Northstar. What can I say? Stupid people do stupid things. Now, because Johnson didn't get it right the first time, now he can change his nickname to "Stubs" and he can rap about trying to kill his penis-less self. I guess the the Wu-Tang Clan really "Ain't Nothin' to F**k With!"