Anyway, a Miami Beach police officer, who was fired last year when his random drug test came back positive for cocaine, has recently been reinstated. The officer claims to have never touched cocaine in his life and the test result had been caused by a cream that he rubbed on his bat and balls.
Homicide detective Reinaldo Casas said that he got the sex aid cream from a friend, who, he even testified, told him that the cream "would help him in his sexual liaisons." The friend claimed to have bought the jar of cream from "an old Cuban guy." According to one news source, the cream was a homemade Vaseline-like concoction packaged in unmarked purple containers and according the friend who gave it to Casas, the cream worked. None of the witnesses admitted to knowing what was in the magical boner cream, but come on! Isn't it obvious now? Mix an 8-ball of cocaine with some Vaseline and rub it on your junk. You're the king!
Casas said in his grievance filing, "Having never knowingly used cocaine, I was baffled, perplexed and confused." Wait! Isn't "baffled, perplexed and confused" the same exact thing? This guy has to be on drugs! Despite the city's argument that the detective should have had some idea what he was putting on his package, arbitrators ruled in Casas' favor. He's been given permission to rejoin the department and will even receive back pay. I have to admit that this is a little embarrassing. Even for a police officer. I can imagine everyone on the department decorating his desk with penis toys and what not. I'm also a little confused as to what this cream was supposed to do. Is it supposed to make you last longer? Keep it harder for longer like Viagra? Or is it supposed to make it bigger? If that's the case, wouldn't the cream make his hands bigger as well? Also, as a detective, how could he not be leery of the unmarked purple containers? There are a lot of holes in this case. I wouldn't have given him his job right away.
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