DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE DUMB BLONDE WHO ROBBED A BANK?

This story is for those of you, like me, who could care less that Prince William and Kate might be having twins. Boring! I have better story for you that might sound like one of those dumb blonde jokes. By the way, what is it in blonde hair dye that makes these girls so dumb? Is it the bleach? Anyway, a bank robbery in Nebraska ended with the arrest of a 19-year-old girl who boasted on YouTube about carrying out the crime. What an idiot! Who does that?

It turns out; Hannah Sabata faces theft and robbery charges in connection with a November 28 holdup at a Cornerstone Bank in Waco, Nebraska. Sabata also alleges that she was driving a stolen car, which she described as a "shiny" Pontiac Grand Am that she found a bunch of weed in. Sabata does not speak during her eight minute YouTube confession, but instead holds up handwritten signs about her alleged crimes and then fans out a stack of cash. This is how dumb this girl is; For starters all of her notes are backwards! Hey dummy, you're looking into a camera, which is like a mirror! If you wanted us to see what you wrote, then write everything backwards so that it comes out forwards you brain surgeon! Secondly, hey, you just robbed a bank! Here's a good idea, let's broadcast it all over the world on the Internet! What a dummy! Unless...she wanted to get caught! Now, the plot thickens!

 The title of the video is "Chick bank robber" and the description read "I just stole a car and robbed a bank. Now, I'm rich, I can pay off my college financial aid and tomorrow, I'm going for a shopping spree." Sabata's plans were foiled when she made a bad judgment call to wear the same clothes in the video that she word to rob the bank of more than $6,000. That's it? Honey, that clearly does not make you rich, you idiot! According to the police, Sabata pointed what appeared to be a gun and handed tellers a note that said "You are being robbed! NO ALARMS OR LOCKS OR PHONES OR INK BAGS! I have a loaded gun. You have 2 minutes!" Is it me or does it sound like either someone's been watching too many movies or playing too many violent video games? 

As of now, it's unclear how Sabata plans to plead. My guess is temporary insanity? In her confession video, which being deemed an accidental confession video (yeah, right!), Sabata is seen sitting on the floor of what appears to be a bedroom with Green Day playing in the background. She also says the gun she brandished was a fake and then holds up a sign to the camera saying that she told her mom, “Today was the best day of my life....she just thinks I met a new boy." She also indicated that she just smoked a bunch of marijuana from the car she had just stolen, and would be able to buy more with her newfound cash. She also made an excuse for her crimes, stating that the government took her baby away and that the 'system was a game.' This girl is definitely coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs!

Police say that they've recovered all by $30 of the stolen funds. Personally, it sound like she already went out and bought some more weed with her newfound money if $30 was missing. Her bond was set at $300,000 and her court appearance is set for the day after Christmas. After seeing this video, it makes me wonder once again, what the hell makes people tick? Take a look at the video and let's see how many blonde jokes we can come up with after this.....

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ARE WE READY FOR THE SNUGGERY?

Are we this desperate for money these days that we have to resort to lending our bodies out for snuggling to make a buck? That's what Jacqueline Samuel from Penfield, NY is doing, and from what I read, she's making a killing! I guess in this economy, we would go to great lengths in order to make some sort of cash. Well, Samuel came up with a brilliant idea to lend her body out for an hour of snuggling for a cool $60. You can't make this stuff up!

According to Samuel, there are different types of cuddling positions, but she typically always starts out with spooning. She runs her snuggling company, aptly titled,The Snuggery, out of her upstate New York cottage and opened only this past June. The 29-year-old entrepreneur said the non-sexual sessions vary, but she has a list of rules that customers must follow, including showering before appointments and no nudity. I have a question, though. What if both parties become aroused? Would the consensual sex cost more? Better yet, what if only one of her male clients becomes aroused and can't help himself and attacks her? How does she protect herself?

Samuel went on to say that she actually has straightforward policies in her business about where is okay to touch and where is not okay to touch. She also said that male and female customers ranging from 21 to 84 have forked over $50 for a 45-minute snuggling session and $90 for a 90-minute session. The University of Rochester graduate admitted that business has been booming since it kicked off in June. She's even had to hire a second snuggler to keep up with the demand of the snuggling.  

Samuel said that the snuggling service is perfectly legal. She also stated that cuddling carries many health benefits, which is a fact that doctors can back up. Regular human touch has been proven to release hormone oxytocin, which boosts people's happiness. One doctor backed Samuel up by saying, "There is an increase in your immune system, your ability to fight infection, and decrease inflammation." Plus, Samuel thinks that a lot of people don't have someone in their life that they can receive comforting touch from on a regular basis. Correct me if I'm wrong, but is this still prostitution without the sex? Also, how do we know that no sex is going on behind closed doors? I mean I don't care and good for her for coming up with a simple business idea, but to me, this sounds like a legal prostitution ring until they find out what's really going on. Guys get aroused when the wind blows. You’re going to tell me that none of her male customers have ever gotten aroused while cuddling? If they have, she's going to say nothing happened after that? Are we that dumb? I know I'm not! Great idea, though!