SHE JOINED THE MILE HIGH CLUB....WITH HERSELF!

     So, it seems British Airways has been in the news a lot the past couple of weeks. Last week, they had to turn the plane around because someone decided to poop on the plane and the smell was so horrid that they literally had to turn the plane around. The smell coming out of the bathroom was so bad that it could not have withstood a six-hour flight. So, they turned the plane around and returned to the departing airport. I'm only sorry that I didn't write about it in this blog because that story was right up my alley. Therefore, I will not leave this new British Airways story in the dust because it sounds just as insane!

     I'm sure many of you let your inhibitions go and let loose when you're on vacation. Many of you also know enough to return to your regular self once you enter an airport because that signals the end of your vacation and back to your regular mundane life. That's unless you were this 46-year-old unidentified woman, who was flying back to the U.K. from Jamaica after her week-long vacation. She decided to let her freak flag fly high on the way home. 

     The woman apparently thought she was still on vacation and got pissed drunk while she was on the flight back to Gatwick Airport in London. She proceeded to strip off her clothes and began tickling her taco at her seat. It sounds to me that she really admired and adopted the Jamaican ideology of "No problems." Several passengers watched as the wild woman continued masturbating, while others alerted the airline crew about what was happening. Those prudes!

     Once the plane landed in jolly ol' England, the woman was given a police caution for being drunk on an aircraft. Um, what? That's it? So, this woman took off all her clothes, finger-popped herself and only received a warning about being drunk on the airplane? What the hell? British Airways refused to comment any further on the incident, but did confirm that police were called to handle the situation on the flight.

     I am so confused because if a guy stripped down and started pulling his pud on the plane, he would have been arrested and thrown in a drunk tank. This sounds like a double standard to me. The only thing I can think of was the woman put on quite a show for the crew and other passengers that no one really complained about her masturbation show, but her being drunk really got to them. Either way....what the hell?  

NON-VIRGIN AIRLINES

     We all know about the mile-high club, right? Well, today's buzzkiller really took the mile-high club to a new level. Normally, when a couple sneaks into the bathroom to join this club, it's usually a discreet act. Well, a drunken British woman flying to Las Vegas, the city of sin, with her parents on Virgin Airlines, of all airlines, was cuffed after loudly joining the elite sex club with a fellow passenger.

     The frisky flier, who is in her 20s, was reportedly busted romping in the restroom on the Virgin flight from London's Gatwick Airport last week. Attendants are said to have busted down the door after receiving complaints about the loud sex noises the couple were making. Apparently, the woman, who still has not been identified, was howling like a dog in heat. She was allegedly had to be cuffed to her seat after screaming obscenities at the flight crew. Her parents must be so proud. Upon touching down in Sin City, the woman was hauled off the plane by police, but after being questioned, she was released with a warning. A warning? Not even a fine? What did they warn her? "Don't do it again!" Come on! They probably just warned her because they have the whole thing on video and that's better than any fine she can pay. 

     One passenger said the woman was traveling with her mom and dad when she started getting steamy with the man in the seat next to hers. She dragged him into the bathroom, or into the loo as she calls it, and things got really loud. How can people hear the sex noises over the loud engine of the plane though. She must've been really loud! That is awesome! The passenger went on to say that the cabin crew forced the door open. Then she really kicked off, screaming drunken obscenities at them and that they had to shackle her to her seat. 

     No word, on if the woman already knew the man or if they met on the aircraft. Who cares? The screaming on the plane is still pretty hot! What gets me is that she did this on Virgin Airlines of all planes to do it on and she did this on her way to the city of sin. You can't make this stuff up! Best of all, her mom and dad were with her, which makes this story even more incredible! Like they say, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!" Oh wait, she didn't make it to Vegas yet at that point. Oh, well!