A REAL LIFE TEETH FAIRY!

     You know how much I love writing about sex, drugs and the stupidity of our society, but today, I wanted to share this amazing story about "paying it forward." This way I can say that I hit all of your senses this week. Besides, it's a very slow news day, so far.

     Anyway, this is Brian Maixner from Wichita, Kansas. He recently received a tip that changed his life probably forever. A generous patron at the Doo-Dah Diner, only met Maixner one time, forked over an estimated $25,000 for a much needed set of dentures. Maixner actually told the New York Daily News, "It's so great. It's a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I just have this new appreciation for my health." 

     Maixner's employer, the Doo-Dah Diner (God, I hate that name for a diner!), posted this heartwarming photo that juxtaposed Maixner's new pearly whites with his previous, less appealing smile, which was filled with tooth decay. The customer, Fred Boettcher, saw Maixner's embarrassing condition while eating at the diner in January and offered to help on the spot. Maixner said the man was of Christian faith, which he believes was the root of his charity. He recalled, "He had a lot of dental issues as a kid and told me 'I can do this and I should do it.'" 

     Maixner, a 43-year-old single father, said his family couldn't afford dental treatment when he was young and his teeth really began to deteriorate over the last half-dozen years. They made him self-conscious about his appearance, though he said it never affected his work, where he has been a food server for 20 years. Timrie Shibley, who owns the diner with her husband Patrick, said she has never received a customer complaint about Maixner, but she did confess to worrying whether someone would bring up the appearance of his teeth. That was her initial thought a few months back, when Boettcher approached her to ask about helping Maixner. She said, "He just said, 'I know this sounds crazy, but I want to help him.' He said he had done this for nine or 10 other people, and has lived a blessed life and wanted to help." Shibley was overcome with emotion, and when she told Maixner the news she said the two hugged and cried.

     Maixner received a set of dentures on March 2 and will be fitted for permanent implants at the end of the year. For a man who never had dental work done, it required an adjustment on his part. Maixner said he is now learning how to speak and feel comfortable with his new teeth. When he first went back to work with his new smile last Wednesday, regular customers quickly noticed. They call said, "Wow!" He says that he's even saying it and can't stop looking in the mirror in disbelief. 

     What did we learn from this, boys and girls? Floss regularly, brush your teeth and visit your damn dentist! Not everyone has a Fred Boettcher to help them out, though I can use him right about now. Anyway, take care of your teeth or you too can one day look like Brian Maixner. 

HORNY DWARF

     Those of you who personally know me, know that I have this extremely rare phobia of "little people." Don't ask me why because I really have the faintest idea. Hey, some of you are deathly afraid of heights, clowns, bugs, etc. Do you hear me asking you why you're afraid of those things? Then don't ask! 

     Anyway, my point in explaining my phobia was so you knew how difficult it was for me to tell you this story about this "little" Kansas man, who allegedly drove to Florida without a bathroom break when he realized a teen girl from the sunny state was willing to have sex with him. Did he hole his pee, you ask? Wait! It gets better! So, 40-year-old, Christopher Lanning, was reportedly so horny and in a fit of passion that he urinated into a bottle during his 18-hour drive from Kansas City. The stench inside his car chocked the cops who nabbed him at a Longwood, Florida gas station on Tuesday. According to Longwood Police, the stench was "pretty bad." 

     Lanning, who has dwarfism (yuck), thought he was chatting up a 14-year-old girl from a Seminole County high school, when he was in fact, speaking to an undercover police officer who was part of a sting operation that started in March. The undercover officer said that Lanning contacted them.

      Lanning is facing a number of charges, including traveling to meet a child for sex and transmitting obscene material to a minor. Wait! Does that mean he was sending pictures of his penis to her? I think I just threw up in my mouth! Is it possible that Lanning was going after a young girl because she would be the same height as he is? Or do you think that he is generally just a dwarf who suffers from pedophilia also? He was booked into Seminole County Jail on $15,300 bond and a judge banned him from using the computer or Internet. His arraignment is set for May 20. While he was in court on Wednesday, Lanning admitted he had blundered by saying, "I made a major mistake in judgement." This whole story creeps me out, so my apologies for keeping this blog so "short!"

IT'S 2013 AND I DON'T AGREE ALREADY!

This is absolutely ridiculous! So, in a nutshell, a Kansas man donated his sperm to help father a child for a lesbian couple. Well, that couple has since parted ways and now he man is being ordered by the state to pay child support for the daughter he helped conceive. WHAT? If he was just a sperm donor, how is this guy liable for the child? Weren't there contracts signed before the in-vitro fertilization? Come on! 

Back in 2009, 43-year-old mechanic, William Marotta from Topeka, responded to a Craigslist ad posted by an Angela Bauer and her former partner Jennifer Schreiner, who were seeking a man to be sperm donor so they could conceive a child. The three made an arrangement to have Marotta's sperm artificially inseminated into Schreiner. Under the terms of the agreement, Marotta relinquished his parental rights, including all financial responsibility. There you go! It's right there in black and white. So, why is Bill Marotta responsible to pay child support again? I guess we're about to find out. 

 In 2010, Bauer and Schreiner, who continue to co-parent eight adopted children ranging in age from 3 months to 25 years (Who are they? The Brangelina of the Lesbian community?), parted ways, which raised the issue of who would pay child support for their little girl. Then, earlier in 2012, Bauer, who had been supporting Schreiner and the children, became unable to provide health benefits for the three-year-old, due to a 'significant illness' that prevented her to work, and the couple applied for state services, which prompted the state to request the name of the child's father. Because Schreiner was the child's sole parent under Kansas law, which by the way, does not recognize same-sex marriage, the state was unable to collect child support from Bauer. So, Kansas Department of Child and Families filed a child support claim against Marotta. That is so unfair! What if this guy never wanted to father a child for this particular reason? A contract is a contract! Once you make him financially responsible, there is a breach in the contract. I don't agree with this at all!

Wait till you hear how the court gets him! This is so messed up! Okay, so as if this case wasn't complicated enough, they're saying that Marotta's contract with the women, which stated he wasn't liable for financial responsibility for the child, was null and void because the insemination wasn't performed by a licensed physician. Oh come on! Supposedly, even though the state is going after Marotta on behalf of Bauer and Schreiner, the two women have said that they support Marotta in his efforts to fight the claim and question whether the state's decision has political motives. 

It seems that the women aren't going after Marotta for the child support. It sounds more like the state is going after him for it. All they wanted was help from the state, but since the state didn't recognize same sex marriage, they decided to go after the father of the child and make up some excuse to void out the contract. This is a pretty dirty situation on the state's part and I to see Marotta come out on top for this one. He hopes to have the case dismissed and will go in front of a judge on January 8.