HE USED A SEX CELL SPREADSHEET

     My bud, Scotty O sent me this story yesterday afternoon and I couldn't stop thinking how brilliant this was! I mean, come on, ladies! You really need to step up your game here. It's not only about your needs, it's about ours as well. This is could be one of the sole reasons why many marriages end up in divorce and why many men start looking elsewhere for sex. Based on this experiment, women have no right to get upset if her man goes wandering because he's not sexually happy at home. I'll explain...

     So, a woman's sexually frustrated husband sent her an Excel spreadsheet listing every time she shot down his attempts to have sex over the past month, including her excuses in another column. I say, "Brilliant!" The couple has not been identified, but the woman used the name throwwwwaway29 on Reddit to post the Excel document to the site on Friday along with a plea for advice on how to handle the situation. She wrote, "Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. I open it up and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone."

     The fed-up hubby's rundown showed that the couple only had sex three times since June 3, despite 27 tries on his part to get down to business. One column listed the wife's apparent excuses, which included "I have to be up early", "I'm exhausted", "I'm watching the show" (a Friends re-run) and my favorite "I just came back from the gym, I feel gross." The nights that the hubby did get some action, he marked it with an italicized "Yes." The beleaguered wife called the dry-spell "a temporary slow-down due to extenuating circumstances." She went on to say, "Our sex life HAS tapered in the last few months, but isn't that allowed? We are adults leading busy, stressful lives. I cook for him....It's not like our sex life was going to be this way FOREVER!"

     Responders on Reddit recommended that the couple make getting busy a higher priority. One poster even wrote, "Have sex with your husband!" I hate be the sex therapist here, but looking at the spreadsheet and the excuses, I'd guess that she had someone else on the side. She was making the excuses because she had already gotten hers earlier in the day. Then again, I bet if any married man were to follow this guy's lead for a month, they might find that this is a similar pattern amongst all women. In fact, the fact that he even got some action three times that months, some might say that's a lot! Guys, this is definitely an experiment that we all need to try once. Your wives won't like it, but you'll learn that this guy is not alone in this battle. Ladies, you need to take care of us more! We have needs too! You know the phrase, "If you don't use it, you're gonna lose it!" Well, use it, women!

THE 40-DAY PROJECT

Have you ever seen that movie 40 Days, 40 Nights with Josh Hartnett, where he plays a guy that tries to stay celibate for 40 days and 40 nights because he had his heart broken by his ex girlfriend? Well, that's not what these two mo-mo's are trying to do. In fact, as the old saying goes, it takes 40 days to make a new habit. So, longtime platonic buddies, 26-year-old, Jessica Walsh and 32-year-old, Timothy Goodman, decided to experiment and see if the same apply to habits people make in relationships by dating each other for 40 days to see if they can absorb each other's good qualities. What a couple of weirdos!

The two Chelsea residents, who are designers, say that it's only one part social experiment and one part design project. They explained, "In an attempt to explore our habits and fears in relationships, we decided that 'dating' each other for 40 days could be a way to explore this. Having boundaries of a project allowed us to take on that challenge." Did I say, "A couple of weirdos?"

Walsh and Goodman, both came into the project with different histories. Walsh has been on an unsuccessful quest to find "the one" and Goodman is enjoying freedom of being single and is a self-described commitment-phobe. They couple just happened to be single at the same time and were just jaded over the New York City dating scene. Because the 40 days of dating was just an experiment, there were several controlled elements, for instance, they had to see each other every day, go on a date three times a week and see a couple's therapist once a week. Some of the other elements were not so conventional like on day 31, the couple held hands for eight hours straight and captured it all on film, even when they went to the bathroom. I said, "A couple of weirdos, right?"

Even in the controlled realm of a 40-day project, the heart is an unknown and prone to be fickle. For Goodman, it meant letting someone in, which he's never done. For Walsh, the project forced her to confront past issues head on and she feels she's a stronger person because of it. Some of the negative things they learned about each other were that Walsh does not check her text messages much and Goodman eats cheese puffs regularly. Though the dates themselves happened between March and April, the couple is releasing each day from now until August 18 on fortydaysofdating.com. Did they get physical? Kiss? Have sex? The couple says, "You'll just have to wait and find out!"

Really? Isn't this how some relationships start out anyway? Two friends have been burned too many times in relationships and they date each other only to find out that they are exactly who they have been looking for all their lives? Or was that just a movie that I just watched? Anyway, I hope these two weirdos do get that storybook ending that they were looking for. Do we really need to know about it?