HE USED A SEX CELL SPREADSHEET

     My bud, Scotty O sent me this story yesterday afternoon and I couldn't stop thinking how brilliant this was! I mean, come on, ladies! You really need to step up your game here. It's not only about your needs, it's about ours as well. This is could be one of the sole reasons why many marriages end up in divorce and why many men start looking elsewhere for sex. Based on this experiment, women have no right to get upset if her man goes wandering because he's not sexually happy at home. I'll explain...

     So, a woman's sexually frustrated husband sent her an Excel spreadsheet listing every time she shot down his attempts to have sex over the past month, including her excuses in another column. I say, "Brilliant!" The couple has not been identified, but the woman used the name throwwwwaway29 on Reddit to post the Excel document to the site on Friday along with a plea for advice on how to handle the situation. She wrote, "Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. I open it up and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone."

     The fed-up hubby's rundown showed that the couple only had sex three times since June 3, despite 27 tries on his part to get down to business. One column listed the wife's apparent excuses, which included "I have to be up early", "I'm exhausted", "I'm watching the show" (a Friends re-run) and my favorite "I just came back from the gym, I feel gross." The nights that the hubby did get some action, he marked it with an italicized "Yes." The beleaguered wife called the dry-spell "a temporary slow-down due to extenuating circumstances." She went on to say, "Our sex life HAS tapered in the last few months, but isn't that allowed? We are adults leading busy, stressful lives. I cook for him....It's not like our sex life was going to be this way FOREVER!"

     Responders on Reddit recommended that the couple make getting busy a higher priority. One poster even wrote, "Have sex with your husband!" I hate be the sex therapist here, but looking at the spreadsheet and the excuses, I'd guess that she had someone else on the side. She was making the excuses because she had already gotten hers earlier in the day. Then again, I bet if any married man were to follow this guy's lead for a month, they might find that this is a similar pattern amongst all women. In fact, the fact that he even got some action three times that months, some might say that's a lot! Guys, this is definitely an experiment that we all need to try once. Your wives won't like it, but you'll learn that this guy is not alone in this battle. Ladies, you need to take care of us more! We have needs too! You know the phrase, "If you don't use it, you're gonna lose it!" Well, use it, women!

CUT OFF HER NOSE TO SPITE HER...FOR NO SEX?

It's one thing to be sexually frustrated, but could you become so sexually frustrated that would cause physical harm to your wife or girlfriend? Only an asshole would do that! Let me remind you guys that for the most part, we're two to three times the size of these women. Why would you lay a hand on any women, especially if you weren't getting any action? Just find your action elsewhere! I don't condone cheating, but it's better than what Ricardo Salamanca from Plantation, Florida did. Apparently, he chopped off most of his girlfriend's nose when she refused to have sex with him. He's been charged with aggravated battery and is currently sitting in jail on a $75,000 bond. 

The altercation took place back on October 28 after Salamanca's girlfriend left him at a local nightclub. When he got home later that evening, he tried to get frisky with her asking her for sex. When she refused to put out, Salamanca became belligerent and started yelling at her, he pushed her down, and even tried to place her in a chokehold. This guy is a complete moron! I'm getting sick just thinking about how a guy can do this to a girl. Only pussies do this! The girlfriend says she remembers being thrown across the room, which is when she noticed that she was bleeding from her face, while Salamanca reportedly screamed, "That's what you deserve, bitch!" 

 The girlfriend's nose was severed down to the sinus cavity where the victim's nose was literally just dangling there. The woman later drove herself to North Broward Medical Center in Pompano Beach to have the nose sewn back on. She told authorities that she's suffered previous domestic abuse from Salamanca as well. My question is why wouldn't you report it in the past? My take is that no women ever deserve to be hit, even if they are abusive towards you. If that is the case, then get the hell out of the relationship. Men who hit women are not real men, and I think they hit women because they can't beat up other men, so they choose to beat up on someone who is less their equal physically. This guy is really a piece of crap and deserves to a beating himself! Maybe cut off his nose to spite his face!