WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?

This is Megan Fox. Star of two Transformer movies and wife of Brian Austin-Green. If I told you that you couldn't last in the sack with her, would you blow my head off with a shotgun? The answer is "No" and we'd probably laugh about it after about how I'm probably right. Well, four years ago, a 17-year-old Miami, Florida boy was transformed into a murderer when his father told him "he wouldn't know what to do with that" if given  the opportunity to bed the starlet. 

Jason Beckman, who is now 21, is facing first-degree murder charges in Miami for allegedly gunning down his father, city commissioner Jay Beckman, while he was in the shower back in April 2009 for belittling his son's manhood. Michael Nistal, an inmate jailed with Beckman after the arrest, recently told jurors that the snarky, sexually charged remark about the 27-year-old movie star is what sparked the bloody encounter between father and son.

After the elder Beckman told his son that he wouldn't know what to do with Fox, the younger Beckman "went and got a shotgun and blew his head off. He missed his head and shot his face and part of his neck," said Nistal, who also went on to say that Beckman poked his father's body with the firearm to see if he was still alive. Nistal is currently serving a seven-year prison sentence. 

Nistal also told the jury that Beckman intended to weasel his way out of justice by saying that the shooting was an accident, in self-defense or the result of insanity. Nistal also assured Miami-Dade prosecutor Gail Levine that Beckman "knew right from wrong." Nistal also revealed to the court that Beckman planned to murder any court witnesses after getting out of jail. I'm a little confused as to what Nistal gets out of this, but if what he's saying is true, then Beckman needs to stay behind bars for the rest of his life. Let's not forget that he killed his own father, who was a city official, over a comment about not knowing what to do in the sack with Megan Fox. First of all, dude, you really had no shot at the hot Fox. Secondly, your dad was right! If you were ever given the opportunity with a hottie like her, let's just say that you'll know what premature ejaculation feels like. I hope it was worth it, you psycho!

SOUNDS LIKE SIZE DOES MATTER, GUYS!

I have to admit that I don't have this problem, but for those of you who do, a recent study by a bunch of Scottish psychologists prove that size does indeed matter. So, for the women who have been telling their men, "It's not how big it is, it's the motion of the ocean!" You're all busted!

It turns out; Scottish psychologists took the time to study the sexual appetites of 323 women and found that most reach orgasm more easily when their lover's manhood exceeds the average size of 5.8 inches. That's right! Anything smaller, she's been lying to you, guys! In the recent study, women were asked about their recent sexual behaviors as well as how important penile-vaginal intercourse and other sex acts were to them. They were also asked whether penis length influenced their ability to orgasm with vaginal stimulation. Defining the "average" length as the length of a U.S. dollar bill, which is around 5.8 to 6.1 inches long, researchers asked the women if they were more likely to orgasm vaginally with a longer-than-average or shorter-than-average penis. They found that 160 of the women experienced vaginal-only orgasms and had enough sexual partners to compare size experiences. Of these women, 33.8% preferred longer than average penises, while 60% said size made no difference and 6.3% said longer was less pleasurable than shorter. So, it seems, percentage-wise, size still does not matter either way! 

Supporting the hypothesis that size matters, the Scottish psychologists found the women who reported the highest number of vaginal orgasms in the past month were most likely to say that longer was better. One psychologist, Stuart Brody said, "This might be due at least in part to greater ability of a longer penis to stimulate the entire length of the vagina and the cervix." He also added, "Male anxiety about penis size may not reflect internalized, culturally arbitrary masculine stereotypes, but an accurate appreciation that size matters to many women." In other words, to my fellow male brethren, they've been lying to us all along! Size does matter! Luckily, I don't fit into the 'average' category, but to all my lady friends reading today's blog, "You are evil!"