DR. MOLESTER

      I always wondered about these doctors who work with women's privates. I mean at the end of the day, they're still guys, right? They obviously love vagina as much as you or I. They just love it a little more. That's why they got into the business they got into, right? 

     Well, Dr. Roger Ian Hardy, a fertility doctor in Reading, Massachusetts, is in the middle of an investigating that is accusing him of sexually molesting his patients. Well, he recently turned in his medical license. Is that like throwing your cards in and folding in a Hold 'em Tournament? Anyway, investigations into Hardy, who practiced at the nine-office Fertility Centers in Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Maine, go back to 2004. One patient came forward and said, "I was afraid something criminal had been done to me," as she described how Hardy tried to stimulate her sexually while she was half sedated during a procedure in December of 2003. Hardy denied any wrongdoing at the time saying that there were three "professional assistants" in the operating room with him and the case was dropped. 

     The woman then wrote a letter in protest saying the board hadn't done its job properly. Since then, staff have reportedly witnessed the reproductive endocrinologist inappropriately touching women under anesthesia, as well as touching a sedated patient's breast while she underwent egg retrieval and an employee's breast. I have to admit; this might sound wrong, but this guy is kind of sounding like a hero to me, but if he ever did this to my wife, I may have to kick his ass. 

     A whistle-blowing female specialist, who remains anonymous, reported Hardy last October and told the medical board investigators she was 'horrified' and felt "awkward and difficult, but had to tell someone." She said a longtime patient in her 40s confided in her that 55-year-old Hardy touched her sexually and rubbed her genitals during an un-chaperoned 2011 examination. Hardy told her extensive sexual touching was 'part of her fertility treatment.' This guy is a star! How did he not get reported sooner? Unless, he was threatening these people that if they said anything, he would kill them?

     During this investigation, Hardy was set to be suspended as 'an immediate and serious threat to health, safety and welfare of the public." Eighteen witnesses including nurses, colleagues and fertility experts all gave information to the board. One physician told investigators that nurses had been afraid of losing their jobs. Hardy resigned on the eve of the meeting on January 21, but stated he'd done nothing wrong and complaints were stirred by competitors. I guess until this investigation is complete, Dr. Hardy, it looks like your a sexual predator. Like I said, I always wondered how doctors who work with women's privates were able to control themselves. That's why I always felt that those doctors should always be women. Obviously, men cannot control themselves. Trust me, there are many more Dr. Hardys in this world. He's not the only one. He's just the only one we've heard of in the news. 

A THEORY ONLY A MAN CAN LOVE

The minute that I read this theory, I was blown away, and in the name of science, would love to test it. The only problem is that I'd need to find someone who was pregnant. What the hell am I talking about? Well, a SUNY-Albany psychologist, Gordon Gallup, recently proposed a cure for morning sickness that some moms-to-be might find in bad taste.....Sperm! That's right! Gallup has a theory that pregnant women who are continually exposed to the father's semen are less likely to suffer from morning nausea. Gallup, who specializes in human reproductive competition and behavior, offers this theory that expectant women become ill and vomit because their bodies are rejecting the semen's genetic material as something foreign and unfamiliar. The theory would feasibly quell their nausea by ingesting the same sperm in order to allow the body to build up a tolerance to it. I love this guy! Even if this theory is not true, can we keep telling our pregnant wives that it is? The idea, while obviously appealing to expecting fathers, is only a theory and has yet to be tested, but I will more than likely volunteer myself to be a guinea pig!

The concept, which was presented at the 2012 Northeastern Evolutionary Psychology Society, also proposed that morning sickness would actually diminish in the following pregnancies, if the second child had the same father as the first. Back in 2000, immunologists proposed that pregnant women who suffered from preeclampsia, a dangerous condition that can cause high blood pressure and early labor, suffered a lack of tolerance to foreign properties of the fetus. One ob-gyn, actually, called the concept of linking immunity with conditions associated with pregnancy 'very interesting.' She also said that there was no medical rhyme or reason to morning sickness. 

The ob-gyn went on to say that due to the lack of conclusive findings on the topic, she said that she wouldn't consider recommending oral sex as a morning sickness cure to her patients. She did say 'her' patients, right? What a party pooper she turned out to be! Apparently, Gallup has been making headlines for quite some time as a proponent of the healing nature of sperm. I also hear that it's a great conditioner for hair, ladies! And not to mention, a great skin moisturizer! Okay, now I'm even grossing myself out! In 2002, Gallup also made waves when he concluded that exposure to semen offered anti-depressant qualities. This earned him the moniker of "B.J. King of SUNY-Albany". Only kidding! Unfortunately for us men, this theory is only that.....a theory! Until its proven true, we still have to beg our wives for oral, guys! Sorry!