ADDADICKTOMY

I am actually speechless by this story because I never thought that I would actually see the day. You see, when I was younger and in elementary school, I used to carry around these Outrageously Offensive Jokes books around with me all the time. I always remembered one joke in particular about sex changes and what the operation was called when women wanted to become a man? The punch line was that it was called an "Addadicktomy"! Well, meet Andrew Wardle from Stalybridge, Greater Manchester. He was never a woman, but he was born with a rare condition that actually occurs in about one in every six million male births. He was born without a penis. You read correctly! The man in the picture above was actually born without a penis and actually survived 39 years without one. 

Wardle, a security guard, beat the odds of 20 million to one when he was born with a fully-functioning set of testicles, but no penis. He was born with his bladder outside of his body and underwent numerous surgeries to have it moved into its correct position, but that never corrected his penis problem. My question is: how the hell did he pee or ejaculate then? The article never answered this question, but it did say that almost four decades later, Wardle is set to go under the knife one more time to receive his much needed organ, which is being sculpted from his arm. I know this might be too much to take in right now, but doctors at the University College London are going to try to fold a large flap of skin from Wardle's arm, complete with its blood vessels and nerves, into a tube to graft onto his pubic area. The complicated three-part operation, which will be performed for the first time ever on Wardle, will then see him fitted with a pump-operated implant so he can pass urine and ejaculate sperm. I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I would've requested about a flaccid 12-incher. If I didn't have a penis, why not go as big as I can and have some fun with it, right?

 Wardle said that he never thought this day would come (or cum) and hoped it would allow him to finally start living like a normal man, having sex and starting a family, which he felt so many men took for granted. I have to agree with him. Many men do take for granted what they have! They should try living without a penis for almost 40 years. They might learn to appreciate life a little bit more. Wardle, who was adopted at birth, was constantly bullied as a child in school for constantly being in and out of hospitals, but he always managed to keep his condition a secret. Now, I'm not sure how much I believe this, but he claims to have had sexual relations with more than 100 women, but his lack of a penis put them off, with one punching him in the face and another cheating on him? I have to say, if he's had sexual relations with more than 100 women without a penis, he must be a master at cunnilingus! I have friends who have penises and have only had sexual relations with as many women as they can count with their hands. So, Wardle was in a good place, penis or no penis!

Wardle says that he got so depressed with his life that he took LSD and ecstasy to cope, but wait a minute; wouldn't ecstasy be kind of a teaser when he couldn't really do anything about it? Anyway, two years ago, he tried to kill himself with an overdose of pills. When he was at his lowest, his sister went to his childhood doctor who told her about the pioneering surgery and consulting UCL specialists. Wardle was thrilled when the surgeons agreed to perform the surgery. There was no date as to when Wardle was going to get this done, but as I write this I kept on imagining myself with just testicles and no penis and that just looked so ridiculous in my head! So, I hope this surgery works out for Wardle and it's good to know that we finally get to see a real "addadicktomy."