SNOW ON YOUR CAR AND RECEIVE A FINE!

     For many of us, it's my least favorite time of the year. It's snow season. With that comes shoveling, snow blowing and plowing. It means we have to clean off our cars of all the snow that fell the night before....or do we? Many of you are too damn lazy and don't clean your cars off at all, which is a danger to many others on the road. We get sometimes you're in a rush and don't have the time to clear it off, but it needs to be done. Especially, when it hardens up and turns into a sheet of ice. I had a friend who was driving behind a truck who didn't clear off their car, the wind picked up that sheet of ice and it slammed on her windshield and cracked the whole entire thing. 

     That being said safety groups are warning drivers to make sure they clear the snow and ice off of their vehicles before driving on roadways in Virginia, and one state lawmaker has even proposed a law that would fine drivers who fail to do so. I think that's brilliant, but also thought it was already a law. 

     HB 207, introduced by delegate Mike Mullin from Newport News, VA, would allow police to write a $100 ticket if a person drives a vehicle "with any amount of accumulated snow or ice on its exposed surfaces where, were the snow or ice become dislodged from such vehicle, such accumulated snow or ice could interfere with the operation of another motor vehicle or cause injury to persons or property." Mullin said, "Every person I've spoken to said, 'thought this was a law already.' It's what they teach you when you go and get your license to begin with. It's what VDOT and DMV recommend. This is something that is just common sense."

     A personal experience on Interstate 64 during the first snow storm this winter led Mullin to file the legislation. He said, "I had a car in front of me didn't clear off the top of the car at all, didn't clear off the back, and when it all came off in a big sheet, it darn near killed me." 

     Several northern states, like Connecticut, New Jersey, and Maine, have laws that fine drivers for not clearing snow off their vehicles. I thought we had that law here in Jersey! In Virginia, cases of body damage done to vehicles by sleets of ice flying off other vehicles have been reported. In other states, snow and ice flung from vehicles have resulted in traffic fatalities. Then again, does Virginia get as much snow as we do up this way? They might now with this Global Warming!

      Bottom line is it's bad! This is your public service announcement for today! Clean your cars off when it snows. It literally takes 5 minutes. You could be a danger to someone else and you wouldn't even know because you're just driving. You don't care what happens behind you. Clean that crap off!

I'M NOT DISSECTING ANY CAT!

     Okay, I need to start by saying that I know that no story will be  topping yesterday's story, but I can at least try. There was a story about another fake lottery winner that was fooled by her son, but I feel like I covered the fake lottery winner already this week, which brings me to today's story. Does anyone remember dissecting animals in biology class in high school? I remember dissecting worms, frogs, baby pigs, and baby sharks. It was absolutely disgusting! I try to put it out of memory, but that's instilled in there. I remember for extra credit, one of my teacher's asked us to take the rest of the meat off of the frog and diagram his bones. I didn't want to, but it was extra credit, right? Thank God, my aunt who comes from the old country was over that day. She had no problem ripping the meat off of this dead frog for me. I ended up getting an "A", but "WTF"? How can you do that to a teenager? It's traumatizing!

     That being said, a central Virginia mother and daughter are challenging their county's school system over an assignment in human anatomy class. The project involved dissecting one of the most common house pets, a cat. Oh, hell no! When I was in high school, they only did this in Physiology. A class that I didn't take for that very reason (and I sucked at science). Brynnan Grimes, an 11th-grade student, sketches and writes stories about cats in her spare time, which are her favorite creatures. She has a very strong affection for cats, to put it mildly. Her family has five cats including her personal kitten, Sparta. 

     Grimes is growing closer to her companion animals because the 16-year-old is now being home-schooled after coming home one day from class with a message to her mother. Her mom, Tamira Thayne said, "She came home and she said, 'mom we're supposed to dissect cats in anatomy class,' and I was blown away." Grimes says she couldn't believe what she heard from the teacher before the dissection. "She said, 'if you have a black cat just pick a white cat to dissect,' I was like that doesn't change anything. They're still a cat!" 

     The school system says it follows state guidelines for alternatives to animal dissection. The guidelines require the school notify students of the alternatives and provide specific activities or resources as an alternative. Grimes' mom now wants her outrage on this channeled into action as she posted a petition on change.org (which never changes anything.) Grimes says she is glad that other animal lovers are joining in the cause. I have to say that when I was in high school, this was never an issue. I understand the complaint, but these cats that are used are already gone and preserved for class purposes. It's not like they are using live cats and killing them for this class. I can understand that it can be tough to cut an animal that you have at home as a pet, but don't take that class then? I don't believe that Physiology is a requirement. I mean, I knew they dissected cats in that class, and I steered clear. I took a Power class instead to learn about cars. I knew I wasn't going to be a doctor, so there was no reason for me to cut up any cats. Anyway, good for you Brynnan for standing up for what you believe in! 

&$%# THAT!

     Now, I grew up with a trash mouth. Every other word out of my mouth was an F-bomb or some other creative curse word. When I got into radio back in the late 90s, I had to train myself to curb those curse words if I was to be allowed on the air. That took a lot of work, but eventually training myself to use less curse words helped make me sound somewhat intelligent when I spoke. Today, they slip out every now and then, but it's all in context. 

     Well, in Arlington, Virginia, having a potty mouth will cost you pretty penny to put in the swear jar. Apparently, those caught swearing in public will now have to pay up to $250 in fines after the county passed an ordinance over the weekend that raises the penalty for profanity and public intoxication. The law, which was adopted on Saturday by the Arlington County Board, increases the fine for anyone "appearing intoxicated or profanely cursing" from the original $100 fine. 

     The crackdown on lewd lawbreakers comes after the Arlington Police Department reported arresting 664 foul-mouthed or drunken offenders in 2014. Several bar crawls ended up in brawls, public urination and wild antics, including one man who stripped naked and tried to flee from police. 

     The new ordinance changes unclear phrasing in the original law from "drunk" to intoxicated" in order to include those under the influence of drugs. The measure also decreases the penalty for repeat offenders. Those convicted more than three times in a year from $500 to $250. 

     I'm just fucking happy that they don't have that shitty law here in fuckin' New Jersey because I would be in some fuckin' trouble! All kidding aside; a law like this could cause a lot of problems here in New Jersey, but then again, it can also make New Jersey a lot of money because not only are we the Garden State; we're also the Foul-Mouthed State. My fellow New Jerseyans beware when visiting Arlington, Virginia. Don't say I didn't fucking tell you so! 

WHAT A CRAPPY THING TO DO TO SOMEONE!

     I want to start today's blog off with a quick note that one of my best buds on the planet, Scotty O is the truly the best! He's always a plethora of useless knowledge (well, useful to me), he always has my back on everything, and he always comes through with amazing stories like this one for me! That's a true brother! Thank you, Scotty O! 

     So, Scotty sent me this amazing story yesterday about a Virginia woman who admitted to spreading human feces (shit) that contained an infectious bacteria all over a co-worker's workspace and was sentenced to only two-years probation, according to the Winchester Star. 

     Andrea Edwards was so angry with her colleague at a laboratory that she collected a stool sample (shit) from a client she tested knowing it contained a type of bacteria that could cause infection, diarrhea, stomach pain and death. The 31-year-old then took the sample and smeared it on the victim's computer mouse and desk chair. Am I the only one crying with laughter over this? I mean, yes, this is messed up, but damn, she must have hated this co-worker. 

     Edwards was spared from serving any jail time but will continue to spend the next year under supervised probation. I have to say that Miss Edwards is very lucky because her intent here was to harm someone; so to walk away with only two-years probation for a disgusting act, she better thank her lucky stars. Just be careful who you piss off in a lab because you could be the next to get shit on! This story was great! Thanks again, Scotty O!

TIME TO SCOOP THAT POOP!

     I really wanted to write about that math teacher, who pleaded guilty to having sex with four of her male students. She even made them wait their turn while she did the other one. Then I thought, "How many times do I need to write about teacher-student sex?" Though, I do love it, it seems to be the same story over and over again and besides....The teacher wasn't even good looking. So, today, I chose a pretty interesting story that hits a little bit on a personal level. 

     As I've said in the past, I am a dog owner. That being said; I remember when my wife and I used to live in an apartment complex and I we needed to walk our dog around the complex to go to the bathroom. The problem was in doing so, we always felt like we were dodging land mines because there was so much dog poop on the sidewalk from owners not picking up their dog's waste. Yes. Very disgusting! Today, when we go to visit my mother-in-law, who lives in a 55 and older community, it's the same problem when we take our dog for walk over there. People will not pick up after their dogs, but they will be the first to complain that they stepped in dog poop!

     Well, a Virginia condominium complex, The Rotonda in Tysons Corner plans to implement "Poo Prints," a DNA database of dogs in the building, in an effort to catch owners that don't scoop up their dog's poop. In a March newsletters, the condo association notified its residents they will have to register their dogs and take swabs of their DNA with Rotonda staff watching. All swabbed dogs are required to wear special tags in a visible spot. Any dog waste found in the Fairfax County gated community after May 1 will be sent to a DNA contractor. If dog owners are linked to the offending specimens, they will be fined up to $600. This plan is brilliant! Nothing changes human behavior more than putting the fear of fines into them. Many complexes don't even allow dogs for this reason. Maybe this will change with this new DNA plan. 

     The newsletter also stated, "Unscooped pet waste is becoming a real health concern on the Rotonda exterior property, as well as in building hallways, lobbies, loading docks, and garages. Not only is it unsightly, but more importantly, it can be unsafe to other pets, children and the environment." The Rotonda is not the first place to create such a database. In 2011, the mayor of the Israeli town of Petah Tikva pioneered a dog DNA testing to sniff out dog owners in need of a pooper scooper. Like I stated earlier, this plan is brilliant and I hope this catches on in all communities because stepping in someone else's dog shit is the worst! I thank God that we have a house with a big backyard!  

ERECTION DAY

     I saw this story yesterday and since nothing today topped it, I need to share with you how screwed up in the head some people are. Oh, but we already knew that didn't we? That's why you're here reading this blog! Anyway, a 17-year-old Virginia teen, who was under investigation for sending a consensual sext (sexual text message) to his 15-year-old girlfriend, may be forced to have an erection in front of police as evidence for the case. 

     The boy, who remains unidentified, is being charged with two felonies--one for possession of child pornography (the sexts that he received from his girlfriend) and one for manufacturing child pornography (videos he took of himself). He faces time in prison, as well as a permanent place on the sex offender registry. Wait a minute! So, when you're 17, you're no longer allowed to date a 15-year-old? Excuse my French, but are you f**king kidding me? Let the kids be kids. When I was 17, which was a long time ago, juniors and seniors were always messing around with the freshman and sophomores. I mean I guess texting it to each other might have been a bad idea and since we didn't have that sort of technology back in my day, we just did it in person. What is this world coming to that now a 17-year-old can't date a 15-year-old without being charged criminally with prison time. I just don't get this!

     Here's the best part; police have already taken photos of the boy's genitals as part of their investigation, but they want to bring the teen to the hospital and inject him with something that will force him to have an erection to compare his penis to the penis found on the video on his phone. WHAT? This is outrageous! How is the law allowing this to happen? Last I checked, this boy was still a minor and now police are taking photos of his penis? Sounds more like an "investi-GAY-tion" on the police end. And injecting him with something to force an erection? Um, he's 17-years-old! The wind will do that! Come on! Let the kids be kids!

     As technology advances and teens find new ways to express their sexuality, legislators and law enforcement are grappling with how to deal with things like sexting. At least 20 states have criminalized sexually explicit messages between teens. There seems to be a perception that sexting has dangerous implications for young people. Meanwhile, the amount of manipulative sexting is on the decline. These are nice stats and all, but if you ask me the real criminals here are the police department taking photos of the 17-year-old boys penis. This boy should not have any criminal charges upon him. He was privately interacting with his girlfriend who is only 2 years younger than he his. If you ask me, I see an invasion of privacy by the police along with manufacturing child porn themselves. This whole story is absolutely absurd. That's why I needed to share. What do you think?

A CUT ABOVE THE REST

You would think that getting your penis cut off would have sent you into hiding or at the very least; you would never be able to have normal sex ever again, right? Well, many of you might remember this guy. This is John Wayne Bobbitt and 20 years ago this week, his wife, Lorena, cut off his penis at their home in Virginia and threw it out the window as she drove away. For those of you unfamiliar with this extremely popular story, Bobbitt's penis was later reattached after 10 hours of surgery. Personally, I would've asked for a few extra inches if I was him, but I'm sure the pain made him forget to ask. Anyway, Bobbitt is claiming after 20 years that losing his penis sent his sex life into overdrive. 

The now 46-year-old and one-time porn star says he's bedded more than 70 women since the reattachment of his penis. He says that for some reason "some women got a kick out of saying they slept with John Wayne Bobbitt." Frankly, I can't imagine who would admit to that. Anyway, doctors told Bobbitt that he would never be able to have sex again because his injuries were so bad, but he says he proved them wrong time and time again sleeping with over 70 women since the incident. He went on to say that being the most famous man to have his penis cut off did have its advantages. My guess is that these crazy women wanted to see what this Frankenpenis looked like. It was more curiosity than the fact that they actually wanted to have sex with him.

Bobbitt has been back in the news because this past Sunday was the 20th Anniversary of his ex-wife's infamous snip. The former Marine said he still has nightmares about the kitchen knife attack and the buckets of blood he spilled on the sheets their Virginia bedroom. He said, "People think it's all a big joke but I almost bled to death after the knife sliced through, I lost a huge amount of blood." After the police found the tip of his penis in a field where Lorena had thrown it out her car window, Bobbitt underwent 10 hours of surgery to reattach it. As I sit here writing this, I still squirm whenever I hear this story. Bobbitt remembers waking up in bandages and peeing through a catheter tube for two months. Doctors even warned him that there could be all sorts of complications and worst-case scenario was that infection could set in and it would turn black and fall off. His first roll in the hat came just a few months after his surgery when a woman recognized him and approached him at a bar. At first, he was afraid that his penis wouldn't work, but after doing what came naturally, he knew everything would be alright. It was so alright that he went on to film two pornos, "John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut" and "Frankenpenis".

Bobbitt would continue to have relationship trouble until a few years ago, when he said that he found God and moved to Niagara Falls, NY to settle down. He now lives a quiet life as a limo driver and is planning his fourth marriage. Bobbitt, who is no longer trying to make money off of his name, says he has an autobiography in the works, which will include the accounts of that penis-chopping evening. I have to say that is one book that I won't be buying. This is enough penis-chopping talk for the next 20 years for me.

HYPER WHAT? THAT WORKED?

We've heard all of the stories about killers or wrongdoers getting their sentences lessened because they would claim temporary insanity, but this is something I've never heard before and it actually worked! So, this is Kathleen Cawthorne. She's a 33-year-old Virginia high school teacher, who, believe it or not, slept with one of her students. Here's the kicker, though; she will only be spending four months out of her 11-year sentence behind bars after she was diagnosed with hypersexuality. WHAT? Does that mean she's a sex addict? What the hell is hypersexuality?

The Wikipedia definition of "hypersexuality" is extremely frequent or suddenly increased sexual urges or sexual activity. Mental health problem such as bipolar disorders can give rise to hypersexuality. So, wait a minute, this teacher got away with statutory rape because she was diagnosed with this disorder? Then why can't all the other teachers who had sex with young boys get away with the same disorder? I mean, I'm sure they were going through the same thing. Rapists too! I'm sure they too were suffering from hypersexuality because they too have sudden increased sexual urges. I'm not saying rape is good! My point is that she committed a crime and should serve out here term. It shouldn't be cut down to four months because she has this disorder. The judicial system is really messed up!

So, Cawthorne will be freed more than a decade early after a judge ruled she could not control the sudden sexual urges that took over her body. Whatever! A court heard how the bipolar teacher seduced a 17-year-old boy at William Combined School in Rustburg, Virginia in March 2012. They texted explicit photos of each other before she picked him up and drove him to a field where they had sex. When officials at the school became suspicious, she was arrested. At a hearing in January, Cawthorne pleaded no contest to one charge of indecent liberties with a child and three counts of electronic solicitation of a minor. Then, last Thursday, Campbell County Circuit Judge John T. Cook sentenced her to a total of 11 years behind bars, but suspended all but four months of that prison time after she apologized for her actions and he heard of her debilitating condition. Cawthorne, whose husband stood by her throughout the hearing, will also have to register as a sex offender. 

So, her husband stuck by her even though he knew she banged a 17-year-old boy? He's an idiot! My other question is "was this 17-year-old boy blind?" Or was he really desperate? If I was going to bang one of my teachers, I certainly would've picked a better looking one. Then again, this never happened back when I was younger, so maybe you take what you can get when you're 17. Nah, I like to think I have some standards. Then again, who am I kidding?

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TALK ABOUT NOT PRACTICING WHAT YOU PREACH.....

How can we not find comedy in everyday life and everyday people? This is Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Krusinski of Arlington, Virginia. He's an Air Force officer who leads the branch's Sexual Assault Prevention and Response unit. Well, here's where the comedy comes into play. He was recently arrested and charged with groping a woman in a parking lot of a bar. How funny is that? The leader of the Sexual Assault Prevention and Response unit of our Air Force got caught groping a woman against her will. I think it's hilarious! That's like a driving instructor getting caught with a DWI. 

Arlington County Police said on Monday that they charged Lieutenant Colonel Krusinski with misdemeanor sexual battery following an alleged assault about 12:30 a.m. on Sunday morning in the Crystal City section of the county. According to reports, 41-year-old Krusinski was so drunk; he grabbed the woman's boobs and butt. The woman didn't stand for it, so she fought him off and called the cops. According to police, Krusinski didn't know the woman involved. He was probably just being one of those drunken a-holes that no one wants to be around at the bar. 

Krusinski was released Sunday on a $5,000 personal recognizance bond and scheduled for arraignment on Thursday. He was also removed from his position in the sexual assault unit after the Air Force learned of his arrest. He's held the position since February. I guess the Air Force should've done some more homework on this dummy before they gave him a sexual assault prevention job, huh? The Air Force website states: "The Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program reinforces the Air Force's commitment to eliminate incidents of sexual assault through awareness and prevention training, education, victim advocacy, response, reporting and accountability." It also stated that sexual assaults are criminal conduct and that it falls well short of the standards America expects of its men and women in uniform.

My guess is that he wasn't in uniform and that the woman did not know she was calling the police on a man in uniform. Then again, the Krusinski should not have been groping her. What happened to the days where if you grabbed a woman’s boobs or her butt, all she did was slap you in the face and walk away? He must've been creeping all of over her or she must've felt really threatened to feel that she needed to call the police. What a shame that we can honor guys like him to protect our country, but we can't rely on guys like him to protect our women.  

HERE WE GO AGAIN.....SEXTING HER STUDENTS

Since my blog readers love these stories so much, how can I let you down? I don't know about you, but I'm still trying to figure out where all these horny teachers were hiding when I was in high school? All I remember is having these old women and men teaching us. Where were these hot young teachers looking for younger men? This is 27-year-old Cara Alexander, who was a high school teacher in Newport News, Virginia. She was recently busted for sexting a former student after his parents found nude photos of her on his cell phone. That's right! Nude photos of this girl! I would need to see proof! I don't believe this girl would do a thing like that. 

Alexander, an English teacher at Woodside High School in Newport News, VA, was arrested on Friday and charged with several offenses, including contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The 17-year-old student, who was caught with the nude photos, told his parents that he was in a relationship with Alexander, a full-time ninth-grade teacher at the high school since 2010. The student now attends a different school, according to a Newport News Public Schools official. 

It's not known how long Alexander had been allegedly sexting the teen, although the two are not believed to have engaged in any inappropriate activity on school grounds. Does that make it okay then? On school grounds or not, Alexander still had some sort of relation with an underage kid. Then again, why would this kid show his parents a picture of his nude teacher? What an idiot! Even if they found it on accident, he's old enough to bury that sort of stuff on another hard drive or something. With all of these stories coming out about teachers banging their students, the one thing that I don't get is if these boys are getting all of this action, wouldn't they want to be more discreet about it so they can keep getting this action from the older women? I just don't get kids today. I would've kept my affair with my teacher on the down-low unless she was going to fail me, but if I was giving it to her good, I doubt she would be failing me anyway. Are the boys in high school just that dumb and naive? 

The district plans to ask the state to revoke Alexander's teaching license. Some of the parents were said to be stunned by the allegations saying that Alexander was a very nice teacher and they're child had a great time in her class. Alexander remains in a Newport City Jail with no bond set just yet. One other thing I can't seem to understand either is that Alexander is not a bad looking girl. Was she having problems finding guys her own age? Or was this 17-year-old boy that good-looking that she didn't even care about age? I still need to see the pictures as proof that this really even happened!

YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE!

I can't be the only one who's been to a party where a person drank too much and passed out, only to have people mess with them like draw things on their faces, shave their eyebrows, or dip their hand in warm water, right? One I was younger and still going to parties, there was an unspoken rule: "You Snooze! You Lose!" Well, apparently, 31-year-old, James Denham Walton of Virginia doesn't abide by those rules because when he drunkenly passed out at a party in his home, his roommate drew a penis on his face that led to his mouth (as pictured in the mug shot), Walton beat the hell out of him after he woke up to find the phallic drawing on his face.

Walton is being charged with malicious wounding and is being held without bond at the Arlington County Detention Facility until his preliminary hearing on June 18. Was this really necessary? I mean, the penis was drawn on your face in your home! It's not like Walton was out in public and was tattooed with a penis on his face. He could've told his roommate off and went to the bathroom and simply washed the penis off his face. A beating was so unnecessary. To be honest, I'm been on both sides. I've passed out and had silly things done to me. Yes, it's degrading, but it's a gag and you have to take it as such. Unless, there was bodily harm involved, "no harm, no foul!" I've also been the pranker and have had people upset with me, but they know the rules, "You Snooze! You Lose!" It's that simple! Then again, we weren't 31-year-old men back then either. 

Could've been worse!

Here's what happened: Walton fell asleep on a couch at his Arlington home after a night of drinking last Saturday night (3/23). He woke up at 5:30 a.m. and flew into a fit of rage when he discovered one of his two roommates had used a black Sharpe marker to draw a penis on his left cheek. He ran upstairs to the bedroom where his roommate was sleeping, jumped on his bed and repeatedly pounded on his face until it was bloody. The third roommate woke up from the commotion and was able to pull Walton off the man and drove his pummeled roommate to a nearby Virginia Hospital. The prankster roommate, who got his ass kicked, sustained extensive injuries including an eye swollen shut. 

It wasn't until about a half hour after the attack, while he was being treated at the hospital that the roommate decided to call police and press charges against Walton. The trio did, eventually, admit to police that although this incident got a rise out of Walton, they often play pranks on each other while inebriated. My thoughts? Knowing that your roommates like to play pranks on you when you're drunk, how about going straight up to your room and passing out? This way nobody messes with you and this whole ordeal could've been avoided! Pranks are pranks and always will be. Those who don't get them really need to find a sense of humor. By the way, Walton does look pretty ridiculous with that penis by his mouth!