I SWORE I WAS WEARING A CONDOM WHEN I WAS COOKING.....WHERE DID IT GO?

     All I could think of when I read this story was why does this stuff keep happening in China? It's so disgusting and makes us people of Chinese decent look pretty bad. Anyway, a Chinese diner thought her calamari was a bit too chewy. After spitting it out, she was disgusted when she found out the squid she'd been chewing on was actually a condom. Yup! As if the photo of this dish wasn't disgusting enough. 

  

     Mai Liang was halfway through her seafood-dish at an Anhui province restaurant when she discovered the "rubbery" ring in her mouth was actually a rubber. She says, "Imagine my horror when I turned it over with my fork and it turned out to be a contraceptive. It was disgusting. My first horrific thought was: Is it used?" Sick to her stomach, Liang complained to the wait staff. 

     The owner of the restaurant, Yi Ze Teng, came over to see what the commotion was about and then angrily accused Liang of planting the prophylactic in her food to get a free meal. Hey, to be honest, I wouldn't put it past someone to do something like that, but in this instance, I don't think Liang actually planted it. Why would she put something in her mouth that she planted? This is, however, a great idea for the next time I want to get a free meal! I'm only kidding! That is so low-class! Anyway, according to Liang, Teng told her that she would eat the condom herself if they left the matter as is and didn't sue the restaurant. Let's just say that Teng proceeded to eat the birth control device to keep her customers satisfied. 

     Liang chose not to keep her word and is now talking to lawyers to sue the restaurant. Why wouldn't she? That is absolutely disgusting! Plus, you don't know if the rubber was used or not. So not only are you eating the spermicide that they put on condoms, but you might be eating any of the love juices that were in it. If it was a gay cook, I don't even want to tell you what might've ended up in your food. Any way you slice it, this is gross and a lawsuit is the right thing. Just because the owner ate the condom, that shouldn't mean anything. That's on her and she is just as disgusting as her restaurant. 

BEST INVENTION EVER!!!!!!!

Okay, this might be the best invention in the universe! So, apparently, Durex, the condom company who brought you one of the most comfortable fitting condoms, is launching a line of high-tech, vibrating lingerie that can be controlled by an app on an iPhone. That's right! Now, we can mess around with our other halves without even being in the room. This will help those in long-distance relationships who can't be together. 

 "Funderwear", as Durex is calling it, contains wires and sensors that can be controlled by an iPhone app. Users simply drag their fingers over a diagram in the app to pinpoint which part of the bras, briefs or underwear they want to vibrate. Is this amazing or what? Durex announced the news of their new product with a video on their Australian YouTube page under the title, Sexy Undies "the future of foreplay." They wrote on their Facebook page, "We've invented a way for lovers to get hands-on sexy over the Internet."

So, basically, you buy these "Funderwear" for you and your wife. You travel to another city, then you Skype each other while you wear your "Funderwear". The app supposedly controls every zone on the undergarments and allows you to rub her boobs or her "no-no" area from wherever you are. In turn, she can run your crotch just by using her iPhone. There is so much fun to be had with this new adult toy!

Durex hasn't said when the erotic undies will hit stores yet, but they are, however, holding a contest for fans who want to become testers. I have to say, I might be interested in trying this out with my fiancee. Take a look at the video below. You may want to try it out too!

DON'T GET CAUGHT WITHOUT A CONDOM.....

Guys, we've all been there! Back in our college days, we got a girl back to our dorm or to our homes; we're about to get down and dirty and then all of sudden..."Uh-oh! I have no more condoms!" Some of you may have risked it with the bareback method and some took the really safe route and passed on the sex. Well, we're all going to wish we knew this guy back then. This is Kyle McCabe, he's a sophomore at The College of New Jersey, and he recently started his own business called CondAm, a condom delivery service on campus for those of you who happen to get caught in a condom-less situation. 

You can order condoms by calling, texting or by filling out an online form, and within minutes, McCabe will show up at the students' doors wearing a helmet with a flashing purple light and toting a backpack full of prophylactics. McCabe, the one-man condom machine, claims that he can help couples "go from kissing, to condoms, to sexy-time in mere seconds." CondAm, which is short for Condom Ambulance, is available 24 hours 7 days a week, but during his peak hours (weekends), McCabe claims he can have students protected within five minutes. 

 According to McCabe, business has been picking up since he went live back in October, and at first, he says it was a solo operation, where he would buy and hand-deliver all of his orders. Now, he's so busy that he has a few volunteers, and two condom brands, Lifestyles and Glydes have even contacted him to form a partnership. That's not bad for a college sophomore.

McCabe says that CondAm is busiest during the weekends, where he receives around 30 to 40 orders. He mostly sells Trojans and couple of different flavors and sizes of Glyde. Flavors? Are girls (or guys) eating condoms now? Why do they have to be flavored? Anyway, one rubber costs $3 and 10 can set you back about $15. Isn't it cheaper to buy it at CVS or Walgreens? Just saying! McCabe claims that he's not running this business for the cash because he's not making a profit yet, but he wants his campus to be safe. Yeah, right!

Students seem to love the idea and McCabe has even said that he's received nothing but positive feedback on his Facebook page. Students who want a more discreet delivery can ask McCabe to turn his flashing siren helmet off. McCabe has his sights set on expanding CondAm, but he's not in it for the cash. Like I said, "Yeah, right!" He's consulted with a lawyer and created a waiver that all students need to sign while paying for their condoms. He's considering moving CondAm first to Rider University. McCabe says, "There's a need for this on all college campuses."

Does this business venture cut into his social life? Of course it does, but McCabe will tell you that it's a sacrifice he's willing to make. He said that he'll even get a call at like 2 or 3 a.m. while he's laying in bed with his girlfriend and it's a little bit harder to get up and go full speed, but he says he knows there's a kid in need and he's happy to do it. I think it's a brilliant business idea and I think that though McCabe claims he's not in it for the money, there is money to be made here! Where were you when I was in college, Kyle?