LOVE AT FIRST INSTAGRAM?

     With Valentine's Day right around the corner, here's a crazy love story that is out of the ordinary. The question is how long will it last? 

     This long-distance couple went from Instagram lovebirds to Insta-marriage lovebirds. Taking a gamble on true love, Erica Harris married a man just seconds after meeting him for the first time at an airport in California. The two randomly connected a year ago on the photo social media app, Instagram. The long-distance relationship between Harris and her new husband, Arte Vann, grew with love poems and songs over social media.

     The couple lived on two different coasts across the country. Harris lives in California and Vann is a New Yorker. When the couple met for the first time on Friday, Vann got straight to the point and got down on one knee and proposed immediately to the woman he had only seen in photos and videos from their budding online romance. He told her, "Don't listen to your thoughts. Don't listen to your head. Follow your heart. Follow your soul."

     Harris' Instagram profile now says she's married "to the man of my dreams," while Vann called her "the love of my life." The two met last March after Vann posted a poem with the hashtag #7deadlysins, where Harris commented, "you had me at lust." The two had used the same hashtags for the poetry and writing community on Instagram when chance encounter happened. 

     Harris said, "You don't drag your feet with real love. You leap into that like there's no tomorrow, and that's what we're doing." Well, I have to say that this was pretty risky. I mean, yeah, you know each other from Instagram, but you don't really KNOW the person. What if he's nice and romantic on Instagram, but has a record of domestic violence? Too late! You just married the guy. What if she was single because she killed all of her previous lovers? Too late! You just married her. I know these might sound like silly scenarios, but how can you marry someone you've never met before? Social media can be your best friend or your worst enemy. I guess the only way to see if this lasts is keep an eye out in the news to see if either of them shows up dead somewhere.

BIG PENIS, BIG PROBLEM

     I'm not sure why I find this story so funny. Maybe it's because I can relate? Who am I kidding? I can't relate, but this story is totally ridiculous. 

     Okay, so a Nigerian man's huge penis proved to be the deal breaker for his new bride, who described sex with him as "a nightmare." According to Nigeria's Tribune, the woman's request for an annulment to her one-week-old marriage sparked laughter in a Zamfara courtroom once she explained her shocking reason, but Aisha Dannupawa, a previously married mother of three, said the matter was anything but funny. Um, yes it is! Does this woman expect us to believe that her husband's penis was bigger than a baby? I mean, she's the mother of three! I've never birthed a child before, but my sister has four children and said the fourth one pretty much slid out on her own. This lady was the mother of three children, but giant penis was "a nightmare" for her? I'm not buying it. There has to be more to this story!

     Dannupawa claims of her sexual relations with Ali Maizinari, "When he came over, we had sex but the experience was a nightmare. Instead of enjoying the sex, it turned out to be something else because his penis was too big." Says the woman who popped out three children from the same vagina. She went on to say that he mother gave her medication after their first painful attempt at intimacy, but the second time they tried to have intercourse, she decided to never do it again. Here's the problem I have with this story; did she not have sex with him before they got married? If she did have sex with Maizinari before they wedded, why would you marry him knowing that his penis was a "BIG" problem? I mean even if you didn't have sex before marriage, how can you not know about his "BIG" problem until after the big day? It makes no sense.

     The husband, Maizinari, who did not deny his girth, told the court that he'd be willing to dissolve their marriage if she returned the dowry he had paid, as well as the money spent on courting her. He estimated that he paid 60,000 Nigerian Naira or about $300 USD. Damn! Nigerian women are not expensive dates at all! How long did this guy court her for? A week? This story is getting a little out of hand now. Maybe I have read up on my Nigerian wedding customs, but it doesn't sound like this couple spent any time together before they even took it to the next level. The court asked the couple to try to reconcile one last time before their next appearance in the courtroom. I have to be honest, this woman must be the laughing stock in her community. I know women say that size doesn't matter, but this woman just made her soon-to-be ex-husband a star in their community! Every single women in the Zamfara community will be going after Ali and his Long Duck Dong!     

DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL

     I originally wanted to write about that transgender soldier that hid her sexuality for years and has recently come out as a woman, but this story pulled me in like a night train. I didn't even scroll down any further to see if there was any better story because this one was taking the cake no matter what! 

    Anyway, a Great Lakes teen loves her father so much that she is allegedly going to walk down the aisle with him...as his bride! WHAT? The story was actually in a tell-all interview with New York Magazine. The 18-year-old, who chose to remain anonymous, dished out how a rekindled relationship with her once estranged biological father led to an almost two-year love affair with plans to wed and have children here in New Jersey. I'm sure it will be down here in South Jersey, where the inbreeding is second to none. She told the magazine, "There's a reason I lost my virginity to him....Because I'd never felt comfortable with any other man." Um, hello? That's because he's really your DAD!

     It was after 12 years of separation that the teen says a Facebook friend request led to the pair uniting at the age of 17. Her parents had only dated for a few months when she was conceived during their high school's prom night. After she was born, her father was scarcely in her life before being cut out all together when she was only 5. When they finally reunited, she explained that it was like they never spent a day apart. She went on to say, "The idea of 'getting to know him' seemed strange because we were so much alike." Um, hello? That's because he's really your DAD! Even stranger, she admitted, was the fact that she found her father "attractive." Yeah, that's not supposed to happen when you reunite with your parent. They're just supposed to be parents and that's about it!

     The father was living with his girlfriend in a town about 30 miles away when she went to spend a week with him. At first she said she slept on the floor, and he slept on the couch. But after a few nights, he got on the floor with her. In the interview, she said, "When we woke up, we were spooning. I didn't know this but later, after we admitted our feelings, he told me he had 'morning wood' and had gone to fix it." Play wrestling between them led to biting and eventually both admitting their unusual feelings for one another. She said, "We discussed whether it was wrong and then we kissed. And then we made out, and then we made love for the first time. That was when I lost my virginity. It was insanely sexual. It lasted for about an hour and there was a lot of foreplay. We both had orgasms. We are so similar, so it's so easy to sexually please each other. For example, we both love neck-biting. I've never been in a more passionate, loving, fulfilling situation." Um, hello? That's because he's really your DAD!

     Here's something coincidental and screwed up; so, their relationship only grew stronger from that moment. She even took her father to her high school prom, the very event she was conceived at. I have no words after that. The father eventually moved out of the girlfriend's house and moved into a home with an ex-girlfriend of eight years and the daughter moved in with him. The older woman didn't know about the father-daughter relationship until she overheard the two having sex one night in the bedroom. Instead of freaking out, the woman "really didn't mind," according to the teen. 

     One person who has yet to learn about this disgusting relationship is the teen's mother. The teens said, "She acts like there's something up, but doesn't know what the hell it is." The odd couple plan to keep it that way, at least until they're able to move to New Jersey, where adult incest is apparently legal, just not the father-daughter marriage. WHAT THE HELL? I lived in Jersey my whole life and never heard that incest was real! Then again, that explains a lot down here in South Jersey! All I have to say is, "Ew!"

     She says once they reach the shores of New Jersey, she will tell everyone....At least those who don't already know. That excludes her grandparents on her father's side who in her words: "can't wait for us to have babies." That's one goal she said they plan to get to work on, never minding fears of genetic problems their kids could inherit. Okay, I've had enough. I am totally grossed out right now. There is a Chicago-based organization for adopted children who says that this happens more often than we expect, but I'll just let you Google that one. The father is a child-molesting psycho and the daughter has some really daddy issues. That's what I see here! The whole thing is just absolutely SICK! I guess she'll always be DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL!

WHERE DOES IT END? ANOTHER TEACHER RAPE.......

I didn't expect the week to start off with another one of these stories, but how can I deprive you of another teacher-student sex story? There was actually another story that I was interested in involving revenge porn, but I think that I already wrote about that story. Apparently, the girl finally came out and gave her side of the story. This story, on the other hand, is kind of interesting because I still don't understand why, if a male student was getting action from a decent looking female teacher, would he report her to the authorities? I just don't get it!

This is Jennifer Vigil, a 31-year-old, married high school teacher, who locked her student in a classroom and then allegedly raped him. Come on, really? Vigil, apparently, pounced on her now 18-year-old victim as he handed in his homework on March 22 at Pojoaque Valley High School in Sante Fe, New Mexico. According to the student, she threatened, "You're not leaving until I get something from you!" Is it me or does this sound like a bad porno? The student said he refused to have intercourse but agreed to let her perform oral sex so he could leave, but he did, however, did get to take a cell phone picture of the act, which he later handed to the police as evidence. What a dummy! I'm sure that I speak for the majority of my male readers when I say that! I mean, she wanted to have sex with this kid, be he refused it? And settled for oral sex just so he can leave? After the oral, I would've been ready to go for round 2 and 3 and possibly 4! What is the matter with kids today? I could see if the kid was 12-years-old or something, but he was 17 when it happened, which means he was technically an adult! The two did eventually have sex a few days after Vigil dismissed a science class. So, they did end up going through with the whole deed. 

Vigil, who was married since July 2009, told police that her "relationship" with the student was consensual and that the student, actually, made the first move on her, but the student claims that he found the whole incident "disgusting." Sounds to me like the kid is either a total asshole or he might even be a big Queen and if the latter is the case, then this whole thing makes absolute sense. Since Vigil is a teacher and in a position of authority, her act has been deemed illegal by Santa Fe Police, who are working to determine whether there are any allegations that the teacher had sex with the student before he turned 18. Vigil has been suspended from her job and faces two counts of criminal sexual penetration of a student and is being held on $25,000 bond. 

Personally, I'm a little upset that Vigil cheated on her husband more than the fact that she forced a student to have sex with her. As for the student, he might be the biggest moron, I've ever written about. Who the hell fights off a teacher trying to have sex with you? Who also claims that they just settled for a BJ just to get away from the teacher? A student who is absolutely not into women or a student that is just not too bright! That's who! Why do these things keep happening to students who don't deserve it? Why can't we hear a story about a student who bragged about having sex with the teacher rather than students playing the victim? When does all this end?

WHAT THE.....

 

Okay, when I first read this story, I wasn't quite sure what was going on. I thought it was some sort of Madame Butterfly moment, but it wasn't. In fact, this is a pretty weird one, but I feel like I've heard this story before, only this time there's a happy ending.

It turns out; five years ago, a Denver Colorado man named Steve Crecelius, who was married for 25 years and had six kids with his wife, made a life-changing discovery about himself from a visit to the emergency room for a kidney stone, of all things! He found out that he is a woman! WHAT? How do you not know this at your age? Did you think that all men had vaginas? Funny that I ask that! Steve was happily married to his wife and working as a photographer in Denver when he learned he was intersex, which is just another word for hermaphrodite, a person born with both male and female anatomy. Does this mean he had boobs too? This is all very confusing to me!

Stevie, as he is now being called, told a TV station that he had a kidney stone and was taken to the emergency room, when the nurse reading the ultrasound said, "Huh, this says you're a female!" Stevie said that he was shocked, but not incredibly surprised because he felt that it validated everything he felt inside. I'm afraid to even touch that one with any sort of dirty joke! 

He went on to say that the diagnosis made perfect sense. Stevie remembered wearing his mom's clothes and makeup in private. He said that when he was 17, he worked his first part-time job at a TV station as a floor cameraman and the person in charge said to him that he walked like a "Queer". That's not nice! 

So, after the diagnosis, Steve decided to live his life as Stevie, a woman. Part of the process was explaining the decision to the six children, which she felt was a problem. "How do you tell your kids that, well, it's no longer dad, it's dadette?" she said. Stevie did say that everyone was supportive of his decision, especially his wife. All of them said to him, "I don't care, dad! I love you for who you are!"

Five years later, Stevie lives happily as a woman. She takes hormone pills, but has no plans to get rid of her male parts. Why would she? If I had both, I know what I would be doing every time my other half told me she had a headache! Anyway, Stevie is still happily married to her wife, Debbie. The couple still lives together and shares the same bad, and why not? Debbie can have the best of both worlds in bed! Okay, now I'm getting out of hand with this! All I have to say to end this blog is one word.....WEIRD!