LORENA BOBBIT HAD NOTHING ON THIS CHINESE LADY!

For the moment, my head is in Austin, Texas with all my friends who are in bands that are performing at the SXSW festival. For those of you who don't know, some idiot decided to go on a drunken joyride throughout the streets that the festival was being held on. So far, two fatalities and 23 severely injured. I had many close friends who traveled from here in Jersey to perform at the coveted festival, so I'm hoping they're all okay. Most of them have checked in, so I think we're good. 

Though, my head is elsewhere, I could not help to catch this silly story about a Chinese woman who chopped her husband's goods off not once, but twice! That's right! Psycho jealous, 30-year-old, Han Zhang initially sliced off her husband Han Mou's mini-Mou when he asked for a divorce, fearing that he had another love interest. So she crushed some sleeping pills into his drink, she went to work after he passed out, but flushed his penis down the toilet before he woke up. She was arrested by police in Anhui, China, where she was actually released on bail and was able to return home to look after her member-less husband and children while she awaited trial. What the hell? How does she get released on bail and get the chance to return home to her husband after she chopped off his goods? What a load of crap!

This story doesn't even end there! Three months after the first alleged slicing, she again became angry after her husband insisted on the separation. Um, duh? Did she really think he was going to want to stay married after she cut off his penis? Han Mou actually started looking for a woman to act as stepmother to their kids in the case that Zhang was sent to jail, which prompted the jealous wife to slip him some more sleeping pills. Mou woke up the following morning to find "everything" was gone. He was pretty much a woman. How the hell do you fall for the same trick twice? "Oh, here honey. I have drink for you!" (Chop) Then, three months later, "Hi honey, I have another drink for you!" (Chop) Mou should have taken his kids while she was in jail and gotten out of Dodge! China is a big country. He could have gotten away from her easily. I'd have to say here that the first time was her fault, but the second chop was definitely his fault. Either way, he doesn't have to look for a stepmother for his kids anymore. He can be the stepmother now!