THE PEOPLE WALKER

     Well, after the shit-storm I created yesterday on my Facebook page with the NFL players who disrespect our nation in protest, I decided to bring us all back together with nice story about humanity. Now, dog owners will get where I'm coming from with this. If you have to be away from home for long hours at a time with your dog at home, if you're like me, you'll have a dog walker come to your house and walk them, so they're not peeing all over your house because you left them at home so long, right? 

     This bearded fellow is Chuck McCarthy. He recently auditioned as a homicidal biker for a TV show, and is finding glimmers of fame, and possibly a business franchise, with another role he's created for himself.....Los Angeles's first People Walker. That's right! You probably wouldn't hire Chuck as you would a dog walker because we can all hold our urine.....sometimes. 

     Chuck walks humans for $7 a mile around the streets and park near his home, pioneering an alternative to dog walking that requires no leash, just an ability to walk, talk, and, above all, listen. The idea struck the underemployed actor several months ago as a joke, or an imaginary way to make extra cash, until it became real. Chuck said, "The more I thought about it, the less crazy it seemed" as he drained a bottle of water. He now takes hydration seriously with all of the walking he is doing. 

     A homemade T-shirt declared him The People Walker. Now, that's low-budget, mobile advertising at it's finest. He says, I've been doing walks almost every single day for the past week and I'm even getting repeat clients, which is what you want." A stroll with this soft-spoken, hulk seems to be what much of LA wants, based on the response on his Facebook page and homemade flyers, which read: "Need motivation to walk? Scared to walk alone at night? Don't like walking alone at all? Don't want people to see you walking alone and just assume you have no friends? Don't like listening to music or podcasts but can't walk alone in silence, forced to face thoughts of the unknown future, or your own insignificance in the ever expanding universe?" That one made me chuckle. See what I did there? Chuck made me "chuckle."

     Well, it seems the answer to these questions is "Yes." Chuck is fielding hundreds of emails a day from the lonely, the curious and the adventurous, all seeking a stranger's ambulatory company. He said, "I try to listen more than talk. Conversations with clients are seldom confessional, but I respect their confidence."

     So many requests have been coming in that Chuck has recruited five other walkers to serve different parts of LA, though he will not take any cut from their earnings until he figures out a professional business model. The business could grow fast. A woman in Israel has already copied the idea, someone in Britain wants him to do it there, and a guy from NYC asked him to walk his eight-year-old son to the bus stop each day. 

     Chuck is amused and excited by the attention he's receiving and is considering a crowdfunding to hire techies to design an Uber-style app. The app would let walkers and clients rate each other for personability and walking speed. I applaud you, Chuck, for being a humanitarian and for really trying to bring human interaction back into a world that is digital. I think this is a brilliant idea....a funny idea....but brilliant, and will really work in cities like LA and New York. Humanity is not lost yet! But you still need to stand and honor America! See what I did there? 

TASTES LIKE CHICKEN

     Since I've been with my wife, I haven't really eaten much fast food. She definitely has influenced that decision, but all for good reason. It's just bad for you. Plus, have you seen the element that work back in those fast food kitchens? Besides, how many times do you think that burger you just ate fell on the floor or was used as a hockey puck during a work hockey game when the employees got bored? How clean are those kitchens? Better yet, how do you know if it was really chicken that you ate? That's the problem in today's blog!

     A California man made waves on Facebook the other day after posting a photo of an oddly shaped cutlet that he claims he received in a three-piece meal from a Los Angeles KFC last Friday. As of yesterday afternoon, this photo had been shared by more than 121,000 users. Ah, the power of social media. 

     25-year-old Devorise Dixon said on Facebook that he bit into the unsavory-looking piece of meat and found it had a rubbery texture. He then claimed to have taken it back to the KFC restaurant where he'd purchased the meal. The manager told Dixon the fried lump was a rat and apologized and offered him a free meal. What? A free meal after he bit into a fried rat? What the hell is wrong with people?

     KFC is now claiming that Dixon is misleading the public and that the object pictured is just a piece of breaded chicken. Yeah, because every piece of chicken I eat comes with a tail attached to it! No, thank you, KFC! They said in a recent statement, "A customer has made a serious claim against KFC and refuses to cooperate in the investigation. Based on this, and the fact that he refuses to allow anyone to see the product, we are left to believe that he intended to deceive the public with this hoax and we are considering all options." The company said it made several attempts to get in touch with him, but he refused to talk directly or through an attorney. What about the fact that he brought the chicken in and the manager even said it was a dead rat? Did Dixon possibly make that up to?

     Rodrigo Coronel, a KFC spokesperson, wrote in an email, "Our chicken tenders often vary in size and shape and this just happened to be an oddly shaped one. He also emailed the image below, which zooms in on a photo from Dixon's Instagram account. Yeah, but if you fry a rat, wouldn't it's meat look like chicken as well? I mean, I think that KFC's PR department is doing a fantastic job in fighting back and covering this mess up, but if it is true, who cares? It all tastes like chicken anyway! Again, this is why I choose not to eat at fast food chains. You never know what your going to get! Coronel insisted that the hoax was not a viral marketing campaign and said the company is taking the allegations very seriously. All I can say is that pictures don't lie! That looks like a fried rat!

LET'S GIT IT ON!

      Typically, I try to stay away from politics and real world stuff with my blog because I feel that you can get those stories right from newspaper headlines, whereas I'd rather write about entertaining stuff for you. So, when I saw this story about Guantanamo Bay, I was a little skeptical to read on until I saw the word "SEX." The word makes everyone slam on the breaks no matter where you are, plus this prisoner's description of his sexual encounter was pretty entertaining. Let's see what you think. 

     So, a dramatic first-hand look inside the life of a Gitmo Bay detainee (member of Al-Qaeda) has been revealed in a newly published diary, detailing allegations of sexual abuse and extreme torture during the man's 12 years as a prisoner. Do I feel sorry for him? Hell no because of all the brothers and sisters we lost fighting in his country and not to mention the loved ones we lost on 9/11. Any sympathizer for this scumbag should be tortured alongside of him. Anyway, I'm starting to get derailed here. 

     In passages of Guantanamo Diary, Mohamedou Ould Slahi claims he was regularly roughed up, interrogated for false information and even forced to engage in a threesome with female guards. That's the part I was most interested in. In one jarring entry that detailed the allegations of sexual abuse, he wrote, "I have never felt as violated in myself as I had since the (U.S. Department of Defense) team started to torture me to get me to admit things I haven't done."

     The 44-year-old is one of the detention camp's longest-held prisoners after his 2002 arrival following allegations of his involvement in a 1999 plot to bomb Los Angeles and ties to the perpetrators of the September 11 attacks. Though, he admits he swore allegiance to Al Qaeda in Afghanistan in the 1990s, the Mauritanian national claims that he left the group in 1992. His attorney also argues that he has never been charged with any crime and hasn't even received a trial. Um, he was involved in a plot to bomb the whole city of Los Angeles and he had ties to attackers from 9/11? If he did go to trial, he'd end up in the same place because he would have been nailed with conspiracy. He still may get charged with that if they do decide to put him on trial. 

     Anyway, his 460-page, handwritten journal was eventually seized by prison guards before a judge cleared its release following a seven-year legal battle and now it's available for sale at nationwide bookstores. And now for the good part......The SEX! In the excerpt where Slahi describes his forced threesome, he recalled the guards' alleged orders to him, "Today we're gonna teach you about great American sex. Get Up!" He wrote, "As soon as I stood up, the two female guards took off their blouses, and started to talk all kind of dirty stuff you can imagine, which I minded less. What hurt me most was them forcing me to take part in a sexual threesome in the most degrading manner." Screw that! This sounds awesome! What guy in his right might would fight this off or think this was degrading? I'm sure they FORCED him into a threesome!

     He continued, "Both female guards stuck on me, literally one on the front and the other older guard stuck on my back rubbing her whole body on mine. At the same time they were talking dirty to me, and playing with my sexual parts." Is it getting hot in here or is it me? Anyway, during the abuse, Slahi said he prayed out loud, inducing anger and eventual punitive repercussions from his guards. "'Stop praying, Motherfucker, you're killing people,' the one guard said, and punched me hard on my mouth," he remembered. His entries became more violent when he details beatings that left him bloody, swollen and choking for air. 

     US Army Lt. Col. Myles B. Caggins III confirmed Monday that Shahi wrote the entries while at Gitmo Bay before the pages were given to his lawyers. The Department of Defense allowed the release of the Slahi manuscript after it completed an extensive, interagency classification review to ensure that the information released would not harm U.S. personnel or damage U.S. national security. Slahi's allegations of abuse are currently under review. Screw the review! Let's see the surveillance video of the sexual abuse. I can't be the only one who wants to see that! Right? That is for the two female guards sake and not Slahi's. Who cares about him? Let him rot for all I care!

DO YOU MISS YOUR EX THAT MUCH?

     Now, I've never used Match.com and with my upcoming nuptials, I doubt that I will ever need a site like that. I will, however, have to admit that Match.com is one of the most popular dating sites on the Internet with Ashley Madison coming in at a close second. Yes, that's the site that urges you to have an extramarital affair. Anyway, the reason that I bring Match.com up in today's blog is because I just read a story saying that the popular dating site is now offering an option that will help find you a date that looks just like your ex. Why would anyone want to do that?

     According to the story, soon certain Match.com members will be given the option of upgrading their account to include Three Day Rule's matchmaking service, which can help you find a a doppelganger of your former beau. The L.A. based company has clients send in photos of their exes and uses facial recognition technology to find lookalikes, but of course, everything comes with a price. A six-month Three Day Rule package costs around $5,000. Again, I ask why would anyone want to date their ex? I mean there was a break-up for a reason, right? Unless, you were the one who was dumped before you were ready to be dumped, but then again, if you were dumped, why would you still want to be with that person? I still don't understand the concept. 

    The hefty $5,000 price tag also includes in-person coaching from a professional matchmaker who may even go on screening dates with potential matches to make sure they are the real deal. Three Day Rule uses the technology to identify a person's type based on facial structure. Matches are then selected with appearance, personality, and interests in mind. One source says that Match.com users in L.A., San Francisco, New York and Chicago can join Three Day Rule's database for free and be paired with the service's clients, but those want a matchmaker to find them a compatible man or woman who also resembles their ex needs to pay for a membership. If you ask me, which I'm sure that your not, it's not worth it! Exes are exes for a reason. Why would you ever want to go back and date them again? In hopes of finding a better version of them? Screw that! Move on and find someone who you are more compatible with. Finding someone who looks like an ex just equals more trouble for you and at the end of the day, you spent $5,000 to find them. Big thumbs down on this one!

TIPS4JESUS?

As I sit here and write my 500th blog post, I would like to thank each and every one of you, who make me want to wake up every morning to entertain you with my random thoughts on random news stories. Thank you for reading! I never thought people actually read this thing. I only started writing it as a stress reliever, but then I started going places and people were telling me how much they loved reading it. For some of you, it's the first thing you read in the morning along with your morning coffee. You have no idea, how good that really makes me feel! My favorite part of the 499 previous blogs has been the interaction on Facebook about these posts. Again, I want to thank you all for reading! Now, let's see if I can get to 1000! 

Let's start 500 off with a nice story about a do-gooder, who's dropped an eye-watering $54,000 in gratuities at bars and restaurants across the country in the past few weeks. Yes, I said $54,000! Servers in Ann Arbor, Michigan, Chicago and Los Angeles have already been left with gigantic smiles on their faces after discovering the enormous bonuses on their tables. Not much is known about who's behind the stunt, but the person, or people responsible, do however, have an Instagram page tagged with "doing the Lord's work one tip at a time." The page also has uploaded snapshots of happy eatery staff with the astonishing receipts.

At first waiters and waitresses were left a bit confused by the mega-tips and even questioned whether they were the real deal, but one bartender, who also benefited from the generosity, had come forward to verify that he was lucky enough to pick up a $7,000 tip for a $215 tab. One owner in Ann Arbor confirmed that he served the big tipper in September when he was in town for the Notre Dame-Michigan game. This is absolutely absurd! But it's a great story! It would actually be nice to know that these big tips were being given to families who really need it like single moms or people who are trying to work through college. That would make the story great for the holidays. Then again, I'm sure one of you will comment on Facebook that this is a hoax or something.

HALF-SACK DEAD AT 28

Yesterday, I read news about a former Sons of Anarchy star dying on Kurt Sutter's personal Facebook page. He's the creator of Sons of Anarchy. Anyway, this tragic tale comes off the heels of a shocking Sons of Anarchy favorite, Opie, getting killed off the show. The day after the shocking show events, Sutter posted about his former star: "It was a tragic end for an extremely talented guy, who unfortunately had lost his way. I wish I could say that I was shocked by the events last night, but I was not." Well, I didn't know the extent of actor Johnny Lewis's demise until I read about it this morning, and I'm just blown away that this talented actor lost his way the way that he did. I also didn't know that he was pop-diva, Katy Perry's ex!

Anyway, according to sources, Lewis, who played the one-testicled biker-gang- wanna-be "Half-sack" on the show Sons of Anarchy, killed his 81-year-old landlady Catherine Chabot David, dismembered her cat, and plummeted off a roof to his death in Los Angeles on Wednesday night. Seems like he might've taken Opie's death on the show a little too hard, but the fact is Lewis' bizarre rampage was fueled by a popular new synthetic drug called Smiles. Friends say that Lewis had been on a downward spiral since his glory days of dating the buxom singer. 

After Lewis offed the old lady, he fled the killing hopping fences and climbing onto the roof of the sprawling Spanish-style home where he rented a room after getting out of jail on an assault rap last week. Police said that by the time they arrived, Lewis was already dead on the driveway after either leaping or falling from the rooftop. Katy Perry is said to be devastated over his death. Lewis' acting career spanned 12 years and included a movie role in 2007's Alien vs. Predator-Requiem, and recurring TV roles on The O.C., American Dream, and Sons of Anarchy. 

  Despite his glamorous career, Lewis spent of this year behind bars and even spent some time in a Scientology rehab center. He was convicted in August for separate crimes from earlier this year for smashing a man in the head with a bottle in January and for a burglary in February. His sentences were reduced because of jail overcrowding and because he did court-ordered rehab. It's sad to see talented people like this get engulfed in the glamorous hell known as Hollywood. Then again only the weak-minded will allow themselves to get swallowed up but it. Either way, this is still a sad story!

MOM HELPS TEEN VANDALIZE HOME

Trust me, I looked everywhere for those uncensored nude Snooki shots to share with everyone, but I've had no luck, which leads me to believe once again.....Publicity stunt! Anyway, enough of Snooki, she's already wasted enough space in blog! Now, back to the "What the hell is wrong with people?" file. I can't believe this one! 

So, a So Cal mom has been charged with helping her daughter and two other teenagers draw swastikas at a nearby home drawing the attention of "Saturday Night Live" Hall of Famer, Jon Lovitz. Catherine Whelpley has been accused of driving the teens to a former friend's home, where the girls smeared human feces on the property, and poured syrup on a car as part of an April 3rd vandalism. Whelpley's daughter then supposedly used the syrup to draw swastikas and the word "Jew" near the front door. Once the deed was done, Whelpley drove her daughter and her two girlfriends home. The vandalism was actually captured on a neighbor's surveillance camera and was called to attention by Jon Lovitz, who would later Tweet a photo of the swastikas in between the word "Jew". Lovitz tweeted to his 40,000-plus followers back in April, "Swastikas (in excrement) left on my friend's front porch were done by three 14-year-old girls, driven to the house by one of the girl's mother."

 Whelpley is also accused of driving the same teens to a second home where they are accused of vandalism and defacing the property. This past Monday, the 44-year-old mom was charged with three counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, two counts of vandalism, two counts of trespassing, and two counts of tampering with a vehicle. Wait a minute! Did they forget about the feces? That's just gross! I know I wrote about taking craps in your pants, but those are accidents. These girls purposely left their crap on this person's fronts step and smeared it all over the house! That is just plain disgusting, and as a homeowner, there should be a bigger charge for that as well!

Though, the teens did not commit a hate crime here because all of the materials used were easily washed off with a hose, but prosecutors found a way to hold Whelpley legally responsible! Once again, you’re not born a bigot, you learn how to be one, and this is a prime example of that. I think that as part of Whelpley's punishment, she should have to live with a Hasidic family for a month to make her appreciate the way other people live. That's just a thought! I have to say once again, "What the hell is wrong with people?"

PORN TO LEAVE L.A.? COME ON! NOW WAY!

Actors in our beloved adult film industry will now have to wear condoms if they're filming in the porn capital of America, Los Angeles, California. It turns out, a new ordinance granted final approval on Tuesday (1/17) in the Los Angeles City Council requiring the use of condoms on their sets. For many of you who watch pornos, you'll notice that many porn stars have a tendency to 'bareback', or have sex without the use of a condom. Since the aids epidemic hit in the 80s, some porn stars required that their co-stars wear a condom to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.

Well, the adopted 9 to 1 vote, next has to go to the mayor for his signature. Then before the law can take effect, the City Council has ordered police officials, city attorneys, and others to figure out how to enforce the law. The council's second and final vote to approve the law was taken without public discussion on a day when most of the porn industry's major players were in Las Vegas preparing for the opening of the Adult Entertainment Expo, the industry's largest trade event. Hey, there's a good idea! If Los Angeles wants you out, move the porn industry to the City of Sin!

One producer in the industry said that a large number of consumers, especially overseas, consistently refuse to buy films in which condoms are used. So, this could really effect the industry. Veteran porn actress, Tabitha Stevens said that she worked with and without condoms during her 17-year career. Although Stevens, who also produces now, prefers to work with condoms, she doesn't believe their use should be mandated by a government authority. I totally agree! Then again, this country is becoming more communist by the day, so it only makes sense that the government control this, as well.

The industry's self-imposed testing standard, in which major companies require their actors be tested every 30 days for sexually transmitted diseases, has been working  well. There has not been a confirmed case of HIV related directly to the porn industry since 2004. Advocates of the new law said that the testing isn't sufficient and the condom requirement adds another level of safety.

Will the porn industry, which 90 percent is based in Los Angeles' San Fernando Valley, pack up and leave because of the restriction? Many say that the porn industry is not going away (Thank God!) adding that other parts of the country are not as tolerant of hardcore sex films, and that the industry's infrastructure, from writers, directors, and actors to production facilities, are already based there, but they might be better off in Las Vegas, which might be just as sleazy without all of the condom laws. Don't worry folks! Porn is never going away! Besides, there always the amateur videos and those are filmed everywhere but L.A.