JERK-OFF SAYS HE FORGOT....

Hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas! Now, back to business! So, this Oregon man high on meth was recently arrested for masturbating at a bar while fighting off arresting officers. That is aweso.....I mean, that is so messed up! The best part is that he told police that he had no recollection of the whole ordeal.

37-year-old, Andrew Frey from Beaverton, Oregon, says he took the drugs on Saturday and proceeded to have a hell of a weekend. Authorities were able to track Frey's events back to Sunday afternoon, after refusing to pay a locksmith he called to his home, then he went to a local shopping center where an employee escorted him off the property. He then went to a local watering hole called Iggy's Bar and Grill, where he took a seat at the bar and exposed himself to a bartender and allegedly started to pleasure himself. Police were called to the scene and Frey moved his hand puppet show to the bathroom, where he continued touching himself. A deputy officer attempted to arrest him a few times and even used a taser a bunch of times, but it had no effect on Frey. The deputy then got into a fight with the suspect and tried to radio for help but the radio signal inside the restaurant was too weak. 

A dispatcher tried to radio the deputy for an update and realized communications were lost, leading the dispatcher to send 15 officers to the bar as backup. The 15 officers finally took Frey down and arrested him. Police noted that it took several officers to finally get Frey under control. According to Frey, he took the drugs on Saturday and did not remember anything that happened since. He was treated at a local hospital and then transported to county jail on charges of public indecency, resisting arrest and theft of services. 

Okay, what do I think? This guy an absolute her.....I mean, idiot! If you can't handle your drug intake, it might be a good idea not to do them. The fact that it took several officers to take this guy down proves that he got some sort of super strength when he was high on the meth, or the police in Beaverton are simply pussies. Obviously, my favorite part of this story is that this guy was beating off police officers while he was beating off! You seriously can't make this stuff up! Merry Christmas!

BEAT OFF IN WALMART

I'm not sure why this cracks me up, but I found myself laughing out loud after reading this story. It goes to show how sick I really am I guess. Anyway, this is Brian Hounslow from Tulsa, Oklahoma. He was recently arrested for allegedly masturbating in the women's bathroom at a Tulsa Walmart. His one-man show was interrupted by an older lady who discovered the naked Hounslow at around 8:30 am. 

61-year-old Beth Davis told police that she entered the restroom yesterday morning and found a nude man pleasuring himself in front of a mirror. Wait a minute! So, this dude was tossing off to an image of himself? Now, that is a little disturbing! Nevermind that he was masturbating, but he was looking at himself and doing it. What the hell? Davis, who fled the bathroom in search of help, said she later, saw the suspect, who at this point was now dressed, leaved the bathroom and headed for the exit. That's when Davis went into 'panic mode' and began filming him with her cell phone, while providing narration to accompany the footage: "My name is Beth Davis and I witnessed it. You were naked and had your pants down to your ankles. Someone stop him. Do not let him got out that door!" The 22-second clip showed up on thesmokinggun.com. I will attach the video below this blog.

 

When Hounslow finally got away from Davis, another shopper photographed his vehicle and its license plate. Within two hours, Tulsa police picked Hounslow up and arrested him for felony indecent exposure. He was booked into the county jail and was being held in lieu of a $5000 bond. He eventually confessed to sex crime detectives that he'd be masturbating in the Walmart bathroom. The report also noted that Davis, a grandmother of eight, saw Hounslow's "fully exposed rigid penis." Davis said that he tried to apologize when she caught him, but she was too confused as to if she walked into the women's bathroom or not. Either way, this shouldn't happen in a men's bathroom either. If I saw this guy masturbating in the men's bathroom, it would have been time to play the game Knockout! I just don't get what makes people do what they do. The best part of the story is this video though! Can you imagine this 61-year-old lady yelling at a sex offender in the middle of a Walmart? Check this out: