MEDICARE WAS HERE TO "PUMP" YOU UP!

Does anyone know what this is? No, it's not a bong! It's a penis pump. Men use it to make their penises bigger. Isn't there a pill for that now? Anyway, a new study about the penis pump has made our government look stupid once again. 

It turns out; The Medicare program has been overpaying for penis pumps spending a total of around $172 million over six years for the male enhancing devices, which is more than twice as much as necessary, according to a government watchdog's report. 

The devices, which are said to help men get erections, are one of the few alternatives when drugs like Viagra cannot be prescribed or simply don't work. Here I thought the penis pump was used for recreational use. Um, or that's what my friend told me. From 2006 to 2011, Medicare, the government health insurance program for seniors, paid for nearly 474, 000 penis pumps, spending an average of $360 per pump. What the hell are they buying? The Ron Jeremy or John Holmes model? 

By comparison, the Department of Veterans Affairs paid $185 each for the pumps, "known as vacuum erection systems," for each man suffering erectile dysfunction. Yearly claims for the devices nearly doubled from $20.6 million in 2006 to $38.6 million by 2011. If Medicare shrunk the size of the payments, the U.S. government would have saved an average of $14.4 million for each of the six years, and Medicare beneficiaries would have saved nearly $4 million each year. The report advised Medicare officials to establish a special payment limit for the pumps, or implement a competitive bidding program for the devices. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services said it agreed that its payments for the devices were a bit pumped up, but Congress was to blame. Only they have the authority to designate which medical devices and services can be supplied through competitive bidding, where the Medicare program has not such authority. 

I still don't get how they get away with charging so much for these penis pumps? Unless, they're buying the Mandingo 5000. You used to be able to buy these pumps in the back of porno magazines. Um, at least, that's what my friend told me. I always thought these things were ridiculous anyway. You're better off sticking your penis in a vacuum cleaner. It does the same thing.....Um, again, that's according to my friend.