BACK THAT ASS UP!

     The first two stories that I saw this morning were pretty brutal. One was about a woman who beat the living hell out of a 4-year-old child in a WalMart because it was Asian. That's nice, asshole! The other story was about a woman who kidnapped the neighbor's puppy, put it in a bag and stabbed it to death on the neighbor's lawn. What the hell is wrong with people? Instead of writing about how sick people are, I chose to write about how brilliant some people can be. 

     Take Paris Gray for example. This poor high school senior was suspended from school and was threatened to be banned from her graduation because of a quote that she wrote in her high school yearbook. Her quote read: "When the going gets tough, just remember to Barium Carbon Potassium Thorium Astatine Arsenic Sulfer Utranium Phosperos." Many of you who might remember chemistry class will understand her quote. For those of you who don't still have your Periodic Tables memorized (Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Yarosz, you know who you are.), Miss Gray's quote was actually a message to her fellow classmates that translates to: "When the going gets tough, just remember to Ba C K Th At As S U P." Yes! She said, "Back That Ass Up!" Absolutely brilliant! Anyone who knows my sense of humor, which I'm sure you do because you're reading this, knows that I really appreciate stuff like this. 

    Miss Gray, a class vice president at Mundy's Mill High School in Clay County Georgia, had to serve an in-school suspension this past Friday after it was discovered what her yearbook quote actually meant. The message seemed innocuous enough, but after the yearbooks were distributed, administrators discovered what those elements' abbreviation on the chemistry chart actually spelled, and it was all downhill from there for Miss Gray. Personally, I thought it was brilliant! 

     It was reported that the school was considering banning her from participating in their May 28 graduation as a punishment. Fortunately, by Tuesday night, school officials reversed their decision, with the school's superintendent challenging Gray to "give the best speech ever." Gray said, "I think their reaction was beyond what it should have been because nobody understood it." While defending her hidden message, she said that it was one far from having any kind of sexual innuendo. She said, "Basically, it was me just saying start all over again. You have to go back and start all over again." Hey, I got it! I don't think there were any sexual connotations at all. Besides, who cares if it did? No one really understood the quote anyway, but I'm sure the nerds in the school really got a good laugh! My message to Miss Paris Gray, "Congratulations on your graduation! Don't let the school get you down. You're quote was a sign of brilliance and I wish you a lot of luck with your future endeavors. You have a sharp mind and don't let them take that away from you. And don't forget; 'when the going gets tough, just remember to BACK THAT ASS UP!'"