YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE!

I can't be the only one who's been to a party where a person drank too much and passed out, only to have people mess with them like draw things on their faces, shave their eyebrows, or dip their hand in warm water, right? One I was younger and still going to parties, there was an unspoken rule: "You Snooze! You Lose!" Well, apparently, 31-year-old, James Denham Walton of Virginia doesn't abide by those rules because when he drunkenly passed out at a party in his home, his roommate drew a penis on his face that led to his mouth (as pictured in the mug shot), Walton beat the hell out of him after he woke up to find the phallic drawing on his face.

Walton is being charged with malicious wounding and is being held without bond at the Arlington County Detention Facility until his preliminary hearing on June 18. Was this really necessary? I mean, the penis was drawn on your face in your home! It's not like Walton was out in public and was tattooed with a penis on his face. He could've told his roommate off and went to the bathroom and simply washed the penis off his face. A beating was so unnecessary. To be honest, I'm been on both sides. I've passed out and had silly things done to me. Yes, it's degrading, but it's a gag and you have to take it as such. Unless, there was bodily harm involved, "no harm, no foul!" I've also been the pranker and have had people upset with me, but they know the rules, "You Snooze! You Lose!" It's that simple! Then again, we weren't 31-year-old men back then either. 

Could've been worse!

Here's what happened: Walton fell asleep on a couch at his Arlington home after a night of drinking last Saturday night (3/23). He woke up at 5:30 a.m. and flew into a fit of rage when he discovered one of his two roommates had used a black Sharpe marker to draw a penis on his left cheek. He ran upstairs to the bedroom where his roommate was sleeping, jumped on his bed and repeatedly pounded on his face until it was bloody. The third roommate woke up from the commotion and was able to pull Walton off the man and drove his pummeled roommate to a nearby Virginia Hospital. The prankster roommate, who got his ass kicked, sustained extensive injuries including an eye swollen shut. 

It wasn't until about a half hour after the attack, while he was being treated at the hospital that the roommate decided to call police and press charges against Walton. The trio did, eventually, admit to police that although this incident got a rise out of Walton, they often play pranks on each other while inebriated. My thoughts? Knowing that your roommates like to play pranks on you when you're drunk, how about going straight up to your room and passing out? This way nobody messes with you and this whole ordeal could've been avoided! Pranks are pranks and always will be. Those who don't get them really need to find a sense of humor. By the way, Walton does look pretty ridiculous with that penis by his mouth!

FACEBBOOK FIGHT CLUB

So, originally, I was going to write about a 45-year-old virgin from Britain, who flew here to the US to have sex with a sex surrogate for the first time, and then I thought, "Isn't that just a legal term for a prostitute? Don't they have hookers in England? Or did Jack the Ripper kill them all?" Then, I wanted to write about another teacher in Texas who had sex with another student, but this time the student smartened up and began blackmailing her to get him alcohol and weed, which might not have been a bad story, but how many teacher-student sex stories do you want me to write for you before we realize there's a problem here? Unless, we really like those stories? Well, like I normally do, I found the diamond in the rough that I would like to discuss today. Facebook has a "Fight Club" page! No, I don't mean a Tyler Durden Fight Club page! I mean there was a page up of kids actually sending in videos of their school fights! I am beside myself as I sit here chuckling. 

Don't get me wrong, I do not condone fighting, especially, at the high school level because fighting has probably come from some sort of bullying. I do have to say, though, back in my grade school years, many, many years ago, I have thrown down and I've witnessed some amazing fights and rumbles. Can you imagine if we had video cell phones back then? We'd be able to go back and see how much of a bunch of idiots we looked like. Well, students at the Bridgewater-Raritan High School in Somerset County, NJ will be able to do just that. A page on Facebook called "BRHS Fights" encourages students at the central New Jersey high school to share videos of student brawls. As of Wednesday, the page has not been shut down, but the incriminating footage has been taken down. 

The anonymous creator, who set up the page for students at BRHS, posted that they would "rather stay anonymous than be known as the idiot who got caught." "BRHS Fights" racked up more than a thousand "Likes" since it was set up two weeks ago with at least five videos posted. The page's creator initially asked Facebook users to send videos via message or email and they will post them for all to see and that their names will not be disclosed. According to school officials, they had no legal recourse to remove the videos, but did want them taken down.

The altercations were obviously captured on cell phones at spots on and near the high school grounds. One video included a "4th Period Cat Fight" between two girls outside the school and a lunchroom row. Some students say that they're ashamed of the negative attention, but I'm sure those were the nerds and the ass-kissers in the school. One student was quoted as saying, "It's a shame that people are fighting all the time. It's even more of a shame that people are putting it on Facebook." I would tell that student to go hug a tree! People fight in high school. Not everyone is going to get along. Plus, at that age, sometimes it's good to get a little aggression out as long as their doing it with their fists and not firearms. That same student also stated, "I can see the next day someone walking into school and saying, 'I saw you on Facebook. I saw you got beat up on Facebook. You suck at fighting,' and if that happened to me, I would get hurt. I would feel you could never show your face again at school." Is this person for real? Before there were cell phones and Facebook, kids in high school used to get their asses kicked all the time. Just because it wasn't glorified through media doesn't mean that it didn't happen. The losers still walked through the school being laughed at and do you think they wanted to show their faces in the school ever again? Probably not, but they did and it built character back then. People need to stop being so coddled!

A school official said that there's been a rash of fights breaking out at the school with at least seven in the first two weeks of March. Well, now you know why! The school administration knew the identities of the students involved in the fights before the videos were even posted and those students were given multi-day suspensions. Facebook commenters called the page "disgusting." I think it's a harsh look at reality. The bottom line is that fights happen in schools. You don't want your kids to be a part of it, but sometimes it's inevitable. I would take seeing video footage of a school fight on Facebook over a kid gunning down the entire school any day and I'm sure many of you will agree!

THE BABY WITH A NOTE

Stupidity has been running rampant lately. It's not only happening in the U.S. It's international too! An unidentified New Zealand woman recently left her newborn baby in her car to go grocery shopping. Here's the kicker; she left a note to call her cell phone if there was a problem with the baby. Why do we let some people procreate? Don't get me wrong. Some women make great mothers, but this is absolutely ridiculous! I mean when my sister and I were about 6 or 7-years-old, my parents would leave us in the car while they went food shopping, but we were 6 or 7! We weren't infants in a car seat with a note on us! I mean, even today, parents would never leave their kids in the car, no matter what age. 

So, anyway, the unidentified mother sparked outrage when she left her newborn alone in the car with a note saying: "My mum's in doing the shopping, call her if I need anything." The message with the woman's cell phone number was spotted in a vehicle parked outside a Pak 'n Save supermarket in Porirua, New Zealand at around 9 a.m. on Saturday (3/23). A shocked passerby took a few pictures of the sleeping baby and posted them on Facebook, which led to a wave of angry viewers from across the world. 

The mother could face a $1,600 fine for leaving a child under 14 alone for an unreasonable time if prosecuted. Oops! Sorry, mom and dad! I meant my sister and I were 14 and 17! Wait, that would be weird because why would we be food shopping with our parents? Anyway, here's the best, or worst, part of this whole story; police have not been able to trace the mother as they don't even know who the people are. A spokesperson for the police department stated, "We would launch an investigation if we could, but at this stage, no one's come forward." I have to be honest; I doubt that anyone will either. Who will confess to leaving their infant in a car with just a note? The bottom line is this; this woman is not fit to be a mother! Maybe her mother used to leave her in the car when she went grocery shopping, so she felt that it was okay. Well, either way, there is no excuse for this even if you were only running in to get milk. It seems that the police won't be making a big deal out of this, but the photo should be used as an example of “what not to do as a new parent.” 

SPEECHLESS......

My friend Jeff posted this story earlier on Facebook and then I came across it soon after, and I have to say that I don't know what to say. I am absolutely speechless! I mean are we really living in a world where we are really this dumb? Are we so dumb that if we were cleaning our guns, we wouldn't make sure that the damn thing is loaded? Or are we so dumb that we think it would be a great idea to clean my loaded gun with my 10-year-old son in the room watching TV? This story brought out every emotion in me from sadness to anger and believe me, I try to stay away from this debate on gun control, but come on! People who don't deserve to own guns, clearly shouldn't own them. Then again, why do people deserve to have guns? For protection? Which I can understand if you live in a bad neighborhood. Or maybe even for hunting? Then why do people own guns if neither of these two are a factor? To prove that they have bigger balls? Don't get me wrong, I'm for people owning guns for a reason, and not to mention, there's a time and place for them.

Why am I so heated about guns today? Well, 34-year-old Christopher Stanlane, from Fairmont, North Carolina, accidentally shot his own son in the back of the head as he was cleaning his gun in the family's living room. That's right! Who hell cleans a loaded weapon with children around? Who does that? According to police, Stanlane was wiping down his loaded weapon on Sunday in his family's living room when the gun discharged a bullet into the back of 10-year-old, Christopher Stanlane Jr's head while he was watching TV. Realizing what he'd done, Stanlane Sr. dropped the gun and took his 8-year-old daughter to another room. His wife, who'd been cooking in the kitchen, quickly called 911, but the boy was pronounced dead at the scene once paramedics arrived. The boy's uncle told reporters that the family was in shock and still trying to come to terms with what had happened. He added, "I don't think he meant to hold it in that direction. There must've been a bullet lodged in the chamber and it fired and hit him." That is such crap! I don't think he meant to hold it in that direction? But he did hold it in that direction! How about unloading the gun first? Especially, when there is a child in the room! Christopher Stanlane, Sr. should not have been a gun owner because he is obviously too dumb to own a gun. Don't they make gun owners take tests to get their gun permit? If not, they definitely should!

Captain Anthony Thompson said no charges have been filed so far in the case, but that Robeson County District Attorney will ultimately decide the father's fate. How about let's decide his fate right now? I say reckless endangerment of a child and how about the fact that he killed his own son in cold blood? That's first degree murder! Accident or not, that poor and innocent little boy is no longer alive and watching TV in the living room. He's dead! And it's Stanlane Sr.'s fault! How about life in prison? Idiots like this do not need to be breathing the same air that I do. Not to mention, they're a constant threat to society! Lock him up! 

FRANK AND BEANS

Warning: To my male readers, today's blog may hurt or cause you to wince while reading this. Don't say that I didn't warn you! Anyway, this is Priscilla Vaughn. She's 29-years-old and an escort in Florida. Yes, she does look pretty beat up in this mug shot, but there is a reason for that. There's always a reason why people look the way they do in mug shots. So, Miss Vaughn was with one of her clients last Tuesday night in a Florida hotel room, when the date got really ugly, really fast. It turns out; her little drug-fueled oral sex romp concluded with her being charged with attempted murder for...(okay, hold those nuts, fellas!)...biting the man's penis and testicles! That's right! Apparently, Vaughn was hungry for some 'frank and beans'!

According to the arrest report, Vaughn was found nude with blood dripping from her face as she "growled and snarled" at responding officers at the Crestwood Suites in Orlando. Did they check to see if she had fangs? The scenario sounds like a scene out of the HBO series, True Blood. One of the hotel guests, who called 911, said that she literally thought that there really was a beast inside the place the way Vaughn was growling. The naked unidentified victim, who was covered in his own blood, suffered from severe bite marks on his genitals, hands and stomach. He was actually able to tell deputies that it appeared Vaughn was trying to eat his penis and testicles. I'm sorry, but just writing this is so absurd! I am literally laughing out loud, though this really isn't a funny matter. The report also stated that Vaughn had also gouged the victim's eyes and hit him in the face and head. By the way, the bites were so bad, that the victim did actually need surgery. He was rushed to Orlando Regional Medical Center's trauma center and probably would've died if it weren't for that 911 call and the immediate response of emergency workers. The woman who called 911 added, "I thought someone was dying! When I dialed the number 911, I said, 'Lady, you better get someone over here quick, because somebody about to die!"

The victim, allegedly, met Vaughn on Backpage.com, a classified advertising website, and arranged to take her to Applebee's for dinner (Now, that's a hot date!), but apparently, Applebee's did not satisfy her hunger or maybe she got pissed that he actually had the nerve to take her to Applebee's. Anyway, after dinner, they returned to Vaughn's hotel room where they smokes some pot, drank some alcohol and snorted some Ecstasy before Vaughn performed oral sex on the victim. Does anyone even do Ecstasy anymore? I thought that was a drug of the 90s. Oh, well! I'm showing my age again! During her oral sex performance, like a vampire, Vaughn took a nice chomp out of the victim's junk. According to deputies, she had "the desire to cause severe damage to a male penis." The victim attempted to escape, but Vaughn blocked the door, grabbed his cell phone and started to beat him. Then she stole his car keys, ID, and his pants. What the hell? Was Vaughn some sort of giant or something? I guess that explains the bruises on her face. They must've come as the victim tried to escape, but I have to say the victim must've been some sort of "girlie-man". 

I have to be honest; I have a feeling that being taken to Applebee's for dinner had something to do with the attack! If it wasn't the reason, it should've been! Vaughn is facing second-degree murder, aggravated battery and false imprisonment charges. How about falsely impersonating a vampire? This story was something else and guys, if you made it to the end of this blog, God Bless You!