RENT-A-GENT?

     Now, I've written about renting someone to spoon with and that girl who created that is a millionaire. Well, there's another new game in town that might be even weirder than the rent-a-spooner. I'm talking about "Rent-A-Gent"! Yes, ladies! If you're ever feeling lonely one night, now you can have your beefcake and have him feed it to you too! 

     Rent-A-Gent is a new escort service that offers up hunks-for-hire to serve as handymen, arm candy and "sexy task rabbits" (what the hell is a sexy task rabbit?), or you can rent them simply to make your ex jealous. So, basically, you can hire a male slave for the day. The catch is that according to the contract, no sex can be exchanged. That's what makes this service legal because these men are simply escorts and not male prostitutes. 

     Revenge was actually the motivating factor in creating Rent-A-Gent. Founder Sara Shikhman came up with the idea because she needed a hottie on her arm at an event that her ex-boyfriend would be attending. Shikhman expanded the idea to include men available for every purpose except for sex, as I just mentioned. The "Gents" must sign a contract that forbids sex, and the customers are well informed before the transaction. Here's what I don't get; what if there is chemistry there and the "gent" and his client actually end up liking each other. Are they allowed to bang each other then? Well, I guess if they went on a date without the girl paying and the sex happens, I guess that wouldn't be under contract, right? But what if they start dating? Would the girl expect her "gent" to quit his day job, though the money is pretty good? Something to think about when you become a "gent" I guess. 

     Shikhman says, "There are so many different things women can choose to do with their money. We buy thousand-dollar shoes because we CAN and now we can rent a guy because we CAN!" Since she launched the Rent-A-Gent website last winter, she has sent "gents" to 200 women in the New York area. Shikhman has since added Las Vegas, Chicago and Texas to the service. Wait, can these gents have sex with the women in Vegas since prostitution is legal out there? Of course, you could hire one of Shikhman's handy men to be a handyman, but the gimmick is obvious: "This is more about provocation than plumbing." Shikhman went on to say, "We have two big markets: the bachelorette market and the dates and events market."

     Women have the opportunity to shop for the men by perusing a seamless menu. There's a selection of 40 men like "Eric" the actor, who moonlights as the perfect wedding date, or "Jude" the sommelier, who's modeled for Valentino and has a degree in international studies, or "Tim" the blogger, who...Okay, who am I kidding? The cost for the men is about $200 per hour and according to some women, Rent-A-Gent is a service that you'll wish had a no-return policy. Okay, I'm not sure how I feel about this yet. Though, there is no sex involved isn't this still kind of a form of prostitution? Then again, I guess it really isn't. Plus, how do we know for sure there is no hanky panky going on? Is there someone following them throughout the date? If Rent-A-Gent is indeed what it says it is with no sex, the dating scene is doomed. 

Take a look at the video below to see what the New York Daily News learned about Rent-A-Gent: 

  

PORN STARS ARE PEOPLE TOO!

      Is it fair for a bank to not do business with you because of your career choice? I mean a bank is a bank, right? They're supposed to be a safe haven for your life's savings. To be honest, most criminals, or those making money illegally, wouldn't typically open a bank account, wouldn't you say? 

     Well, Chase bank, which is actually my old bank that I had to close because there are no Chase banks where I live, have been giving a handful of porn stars a raw deal. How so? Well, adult film starlets, like Penthouse Pet Teagan Presley, "Cougarland" star Veronica Avluv and "Whitehouse Orgy" (great flick!...I mean...So, I heard!) actress Layton Benton, took to Twitter recently bashing the bank over their recent account closures, which have allegedly been connected to their careers of choice. Presley, whose real name is Ashley Erickson, said that her April 16 letter gave no reason for her account termination. Chase also closed her husband's personal account and their two business accounts, including one of their studios Skinworxxx. This is weird because usually banks like it when there is a lot of money coming into their branches. If Presley and her husband had four to five accounts open with Chase, wouldn't that be a good thing? I have to be honest, I'm kind of happy that I closed my account with Chase after reading this. Who wants to keep their money with a bunch of judgmental people. 

     Presley says that she's upset and in shock that this is even happening because she's not doing anything illegal. As I said earlier, if she was doing anything earlier, her cash would have been stashed underneath her mattress. Her husband, Josh Lehman said, "I've heard three different reasons. When I went into our branch, they said it was the nature of our business. When I called, they said they were closing my personal account because my wife is an 'infamous' adult star. When I talked to my branch again, they said it wasn't because we were in the adult industry but because we did business with a convicted felon." Seriously, Chase bank? Who cares? Does it really matter where the money is coming from? If there is money there, you should be more than happy to house it. I'm sure T.D. Bank, Wells Fargo or Bank of America will be more than happy to house the money of adult film stars. When did Chase bank become a communist bank? 

     Lehman said that he and others have contacted an industry lawyer to explore legal action. He also said, "We're waiting to see, but I honestly doubt we can do anything. It's not fair. We're a family with kids. We don't do anything bad." It's true! There are hardened criminals out there and Chase is discriminating against those making an honest living when it shouldn't even matter where the money comes from. This is truly disgusting! In the meantime, Presley and Lehman have moved their business to Wells Fargo, where I'm sure they will be better off. Presley said, "I'm really sad because I loved Chase. I travel to dance every Thursday through Sunday, and I loved their fraud prevention app because I might do banking in a different state each day. This is very disheartening." 

     Obviously, Chase has not commented on the claims, but did you really expect them to? This is a horrible and judgmental decision on the part of chase. I'm sure these adult film stars have pumped millions into the bank. I'm not a banker by any means, but when millions are coming into my bank, why would I stop it? It makes no sense! Whomever is running Chase needs to be put down and taken out of the industry because the main focus of a bank should be money and not the careers of their patrons. Next, you'll see Chase closing terminating the account of a legal marijuana dispenser because they are selling marijuana. That is so stupid!

BOOK REVIEW: "THE NEW RULES OF MARKETING AND PR"

     Okay, so once I again, for my avid blog readers, I need to apologize for my non-traditional blog again today. As I mentioned a few times within the past month or two, I am taking an Online Public Relations course for my Masters and I've been using this blog as part of my class work, so bear with me because I have to review a book that we had to read for class. Some of you might even find this book pretty interesting. 
   
     Anyway, after having read my fair share of books and taking multiple online classes on social media marketing, I think that David Meerman Scott's The New Rules of Marketing and PR is a good introductory book for those of you who might be a tad overwhelmed by all of the terms and technologies that are being thrown around these days. Scott takes you through a pretty good overview of how the media landscape has changed and how marketers and pretty much all social media users, for that matter, needs to shift their game in order to play in that proverbial level playing field we call the Internet.

     Yes, there are a number of books related to Online Marketing, but The New Rules of Marketing and PR really stands out from the rest of the crap that is out there. This book is virtually a treasure chest of tips, tricks and some of the best tidbits on how you can use the power of online media to your advantage. The book gives you the various forms, definitions and explanations of online communication like Blogs, Podcasts, RSS Feeds, Search Engine Optimization or SEO, Viral Marketing, Webinars, etc. What makes The New Rules of Marketing and PR a worthwhile investment is the fact that it's an easy read and has plenty of examples and can be used as a guide as to what should and shouldn’t be done. 

Some of the things you will learn from Scott's book include the following:
1) The most important ingredient for any website is not just design but content. 
2) If you are everything to everybody, you are nothing to nobody. 
3) If you provide useful worthwhile Information for free – you become the expert and get into the demand cycle.
4) Educate the Consumer by being fair and honest and he will most probably become your client. 
5) Be smart with tags and links.
6) Create links and connect to others through your website. 
7) Participate and Comment on other people articles and websites.
8) People will comment bad under your articles or videos, allow them. This will increase traffic. 
9) Experiment and have fun.
10) Interruption Marketing is an old format of selling. 
11) Keep the language jargon free and fun. 
12) Encourage people to contact you. 

     If you are looking for a good book that informs, educates and entertains you with worthwhile information then The New Rules of Marketing and PR is a book that  I would highly recommend. Here is what David Meerman Scott has to say about his own book:

THE SMOKING BABY

     Okay, I can tolerate a lot of things when I write this blog, but this is one thing that I can't seem tolerate. As a smoker of 20 years who has been smoke-free for six years and then seeing this video, I was appalled at what I had just witnessed. So, a video appeared on the Internet showing a shirtless father of the year teaching his toddler son how to smoke a cigarette. I swear, someone needs a beating and it's not the little boy. 

     In the undated video, which is in Russian, the man passes a cigarette to his bare-naked son and teaches him the art of inhaling and blowing the smoke out. A translation showed the idiot dad asking the boy, "Did it kick in?" I'd like to kick him in after seeing this video. I'll tell you that much! The video continues for about two minutes and since it was uploaded on Wednesday, has been viewed more than 60,000 times on LiveLeak.

     The video, which was filmed in the family's kitchen, also shows the toddler fussing when the dad takes away the lung rocket after deciding that he's had enough. What the hell? He then passes along a new cigarette and the child puts it in his mouth just like he has seen his father do countless times. The kid could not be happier smoking his life away. The moronic father then passes a lighter, however, but the child thankfully doesn't know how to light things on fire. He sticks the lighter up to his mouth and sends the woman filming behind the camera into giggles. Man, that is so funny (sarcasm). The boy gets tobacco stuck in his mouth and the father tells him to spit out on the table next to the sippy cup because swallowing tobacco is dangerous. I know this really is none of my business because it's not my child and not to mention, he's in another country, but for the love of God, have some common sense. To actually see this baby inhaling and blowing smoke out was breaking my heart and seriously want to cause physical harm on this douchebag of a dad. 

      If you really want to take a look, here is the video below: 

BEERPOPS

     Now, I'm not a big beer drinker because of an allergic reaction that I get to any alcohol. So, I'm writing about this new creation to find out what your thoughts are about them. So, anyway; Lollyphile, the candy company that brought you breast milk, bleu cheese and Sriracha bacon-flavored lollipops, has released not one but three different brew-related "suckers." Does that sound even remotely interesting to you? I mean I'm still stuck on breast milk, bleu cheese and Sriracha bacon-flavored lollipops. That peeked my interest. 

     The new lolly flavors include India pale ale, IPA, and the lager, which Lollyphile boasts, "The King of Lollipops! A real banquet lollipop! An All-American slam-dunk barbecue apple pie bada - lollipop!"

     Lollyphile owner Jason Darling says, "We tried our best to stay true to each of these varieties, Stout being big and dark, IPA being hoppy as hell, and Lager based on our favorite Pilsner. It was, to say the least, a very fun flavor matching experience." If beer is not your thing, but you're interested in a boozy pop, Lollyphile also sells cabernet, chardonnay, and merlot lollipops for you winos out there, as well as candies inspired by spirits like absinthe and bourbon.

     Here's the big question that I know all of you are going to ask me; will these pops get you drunk? The answer is no. The only thing these lollipops will do is give you a huge sugar rush. According to their website, the sweet treats do not contain any alcohol. They are mainly flavored like your favorite alcohol. So, I guess they're not like those little chocolate liquors that you know that some of you alcoholics turn to when you're in a binge. Now, that I know that there is no alcohol in these pops, I might be willing to try them for the taste of those alcoholic beverages that I can no longer drink. Here's another question; can the taste of these pops make a reformed alcoholic turn to drinking again? I mean, I know it would be the alcohol that makes them become alcoholics, but will the taste of the pop make them miss the taste? Just saying that this sounds like a good idea, but can also be a very bad one. By the way, I'm still stuck on the breast milk pops.

SHE HID IT IN HER HOO-HOO!

     I'm noticing a theme this week. On Monday, I wrote about vaginas. Tuesday, I wrote about a reconstructed penis. Today, I'm back to vaginas! It turns out; a 19-year-old Tennessee woman had a loaded handgun hidden in her, you guessed it, her vagina. She was originally brought into jail Monday afternoon after she got nabbed for driving with a suspended license. 

     As 19-year-old Dallas Archer was being booked at a Kingsport jail, a female corrections officer noticed an "unknown object" in the teenager's crotch during the search. They gave Archer a second look to make sure she was a girl before they proceeded. The jailer and the female officer then accompanied Archer to a bathroom for further examination, a review that led to the recovery of a "North American Arms 22 LR revolver (loaded), which Miss Archer had concealed in her vagina." A subsequent check did in fact reveal that the five-shot mini-revolver, which is four inches in length, had been stolen form an auto burglary back in 2013. If you ask me, that is one deep and talented vagina. Archer's next career move after prison, could very well be adult film. 

     The handgun, which police valued at $250, was owned by John Souther, a 70-year-old retired car salesman. Souther said that the gun was taken from his 1994 Mustang, which was "ransacked" last year while parked in his Kingsport carport. Souther said that police told him that the revolver had been recovered, but offered no other details. When they told him where the gun had been stashed, his only response was, "Oh, gosh!" He later noted that he would eventually like "the little fellow" returned, but added that the weapon would require "a bath in bleach." I still can't get over the fact that she jammed that thing up her hoo-hoo! That must've been like sticking a hot dog into a hallway!

    Moving on; Archer was charged with gun possession and introducing contraband into a penal facility (no to be confused with penile). Archer was released from custody after posting $6000 bond. I can't stop thinking about what else can be hidden in her vagina? Can you imagine they pulled out a kitchen sink too? Or a car? There are so many jokes that can come out of this. Well, this blog is the place for stupidity, among other things and Archer can now join our Hall of Stupid!

THE FIRST RECONSTRUCTED PENIS TO CONCEIVE A CHILD

     I found this story absolutely fascinating! I'm not sure if the part that I found fascinating was that this guy lost half of his penis when he was a child during a botched circumcision or the fact that he was able to have a child. Either way, both stories are unreal! The circumcision story reminds me of that old cross-eyed Rabbi joke, but I couldn't stop thinking, "Poor guy!"

     Anyway, Mike Moore, a Mississippi man has become the first person in the world with a reconstructed penis to conceive a child. The 30-year-old had his member amputated when he was just 7 years old after doctors botched what should have been a routine circumcision. Wait! Isn't a circumcision the cutting of the foreskin? Were these doctors drunk? I mean how do you mess up a circumcision? Have a Rabbi come in and do it for crying out loud! The trauma caused Moore to be bullied at school, which spiraled into a deep depression. I mean if doctors accidentally cut my penis off, I'd be pretty depressed too!

     Seven years ago, Moore's uncle saw a documentary on the work of a Stanford Medical Center plastic surgeon, Dr. Gordon Lee. Moore had already undergone failed reconstruction attempts, but thought he might get lucky on his fourth try. In 2007, he had his penis successfully rebuilt out of his own thigh tissue. This was only Lee's second time performing the operation. Didn't I just write about a guy in China who actually did this as well? Only he had his penis grown on his forehead or something like that. Anyway, even though Moore was starting to feel like a complete man again, his first marriage broke down. Maybe his first wife liked his stub?

     Moore met his current wife, Heather, in 2011, and the couple who failed to conceive naturally, decided to go to artificial insemination and they gave birth to baby Memphis six months ago. Moore said, "The one thing I wanted most was a family, and I didn't think it was going to happen--to have kids or to have a wife who loved me for who I am. Then on October 4, we had Memphis, and I love that little boy with all my heart!"

     The Moores traveled to Palo Alto, California to introduce Memphis to Dr. Lee, who said, "His story is, as far as I know, a first in the world for totally reconstructed penis to go and have a baby." The couple is now planning for baby number two! I have to admit, I am really happy for the Moores, but I'm a little suspect. He now has a reconstructed penis, does that mean he can still ejaculate? If he can, then this might be able to happen. If not, how did they artificially inseminate? Like I said, either way, this is a great story!

LAB-GROWN VAGINA?....I'LL TAKE ONE!

     I am absolutely speechless with this new item that I'm bringing to the table. I've never heard or seen this before, but I certainly would love one to play with! Too much?

     Anyway, a woman who participated in a ground-breaking study where doctors used cells to grow vaginas in a lab, said she now leads a normal life thanks to the surgery. And yes, I said "vaginas." The patient who chose to remain nameless, but allowed ABC to show her face on TV which is weird, was one of four Mexican women with Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser (MRKH) syndrome, a rare genetic condition that causes the vagina to be absent or underdeveloped, who took part in this revolutionary study. So, wait. They were born with no vagina or is was underdeveloped? Am I the only one here who would love to see a photo of this? For the purpose of science, of course. 

     The women were between th ages of 13 and 18 when researchers from Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, N.C.  and the Metropolitan Autonomous University in Mexico City turned small samples of their tissue into new organs. The custom-built vaginas were then successfully implanted into each of the women, according to the study. By the way, the fact that I get to used the word "vagina" all over this blog has made this a Happy Monday. Yes, my mind is still very child-like. The woman, who was 18 when she had the procedure done in October 2008, said, "For me to be able to have the surgery, I feel very fortunate because I can have a normal life. I know I'm one of the first." As I write this, I can't stop thinking, how can I get one? I mean, I don't want replace my penis, I just want a vagina for my own personal enjoyment. Too much? Come on! Am I the only one who is thinking this?

     MRKH syndrome impacts approximately one in 4,500 newborn girls. She saidm "It is important to let other girls that have the same problem know that there is a treatment and you can have a normal life." Besides wanting one myself, I have to ask; does this open the door to those who are transgender? I mean there are men out there who would like to get rid of their penises and trade them in for vaginas. I'm sure the "mangina" thing has already gotten old for them. Just wondering. Anyway, back to me, besides wanting to see what these girls with the absent or underdeveloped vaginas look like, I'd also like to see what these new lab-grown vaginas look like. Can you get them already bikini-waxed? I'm really curious! All in the name of science...of course!     

PHOTOS, VIDEOS AND VIRAL MARKETING

     One of the best ways to generate an interest in any product that your promoting, or even if your promoting yourself, is through audio or video marketing. For example, as a musician who has been on the music scene for well over 20 years, I've seen, first-hand, how marketing has changed in many ways through the years. In the book,The New Rules of Marketing and PR, author David Meerman Scott even mentions that social media has put marketing in the control of the musicians and he's right! Back when I started playing music, it was about getting the big record deal and allowing the record label do all the marketing for you, but now with online media as big as it is, musicians and bands no longer need to chase after the big record deals because they can now do all of the marketing on their own by creating their own Facebook pages for info, YouTube pages for fans to see their music videos or webisodes, Reverbnation pages for fans to listen to the bands music and Podcast pages for the fans to interact with the bands as if they were on internet radio. The Internet has also allowed musicians to market and sell their own music online. Again, what do we need a record company for? When I interviewed Gene Simmons from KISS back in 2009, I asked him what advice can you give a starving musician? He answered, "We don't live in a day of the big record deals anymore. So stop chasing that dream. We live in a do-it-yourself world. So make your millions by doing it yourself." This is coming from a man who might be the biggest marketing genius we've seen when it comes to marketing a band. 

     That was just one example at how audio and video marketing has changed through the years. Today, creating viral video footage is something that video creators strive for. For the most part, videos become "viral" because they are simple and funny and sometimes even shocking. According to Scott, "Many viral phenomena start innocently: Somebody creates a funny video clip, a cartoon, or a story to amuse friends. Then one person sends it to another and on and on." Before you know it, your innocent video clip spreads like a virus, hence the phrase "Viral Video." Above, I've attached some of the greatest viral video footage of all-time by way of YouTube. 
     When it comes to photo-blogging, which has become extremely popular through sites like Instagram (which is owned by Facebook) and Pinterest, we've seen some amazing photos taken by amateur photographers who take these photos with their smart phones. I've seen some of the most amazing photos posted on these photo-blogging pages that might even be better than actual professional photographers. I also enjoy the photo-blogging sites for personal reasons and that's because I live so far from my family these days, it allows me to watch my nieces and nephews grow up as my sister and cousins post photos of the kids on a daily basis. Back when we were growing up, our parents would take photos with their camera, have the photos developed at a one-hour photo place and then place them in a photo album. Now, these photos can be taken instantly with the use of a smart phone and uploaded to these sites that act like an online photo album. It's just amazing!

FROM WU-TANG TO NO DONG CLAN

     This story came out yesterday and it kind of disturbed me....Okay, not "kind of"...It really disturbed me! And it's not just because I liked the rap group Wu-Tang Clan; it's because of the actions Christ Bearer, aka Andre Johnson, decided to take in an attempt to end his life. Let me see if I can explain this right. So, Wu-Tang Clan-affiliated rapper, Johnson cut off his penis before he leaped off of the second-floor balcony of his North Hollywood apartment in an attempt to kill himself. The bad news is that he didn't succeed and now reports are saying that his penis is gone for good because doctors cannot reattach it. Um, ouch!

     Johnson was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after he apparently flayed mini-Johnson during his bizarre suicide bid early Wednesday morning. Doctors are said to have attempted to reattach the foot long (just kidding), but have been unsuccessful. I have to be honest, as I write this; I really have no sympathy for the Christ Bearer because who does this? First of all, who cuts off their own penis? Come on! Someone who is mentally unstable. What did your penis ever do to you except give you nothing but pure enjoyment. Second, I respect no one who tries to kill themselves. You have no respect for yourself? Why should I have any for you? Thirdly, if you were going to kill yourself, why would you do it out of a second floor window? If your going to do it, do it right and go to the rooftop and jump. Jumping out of the second floor only leads to injuries and unsuccessful suicide attempts like this.

     Anyway, neighbors who witnessed the attempt said that Johnson managed to get back to his feet after taking the plunge from his balcony shortly before 1 a.m. The baffled neighbors said that no one in the apartment was doing any hard drugs that would cause him to even do such a thing. The EMT found Johnson laying on the ground in a pool of blood outside the building before they rushed him to the hospital, where he remains in critical condition. The snake, I mean severed Johnson was transported to the hospital a short time later, but the thing could not be reattached.

     Johnson is a member of the group, Northstar, which was discovered by Wu-Tang member RZA in 1998. The producer backed the duo for their 2004 debut album, RZA Presents Northstar. What can I say? Stupid people do stupid things. Now, because Johnson didn't get it right the first time, now he can change his nickname to "Stubs" and he can rap about trying to kill his penis-less self. I guess the the Wu-Tang Clan really "Ain't Nothin' to F**k With!"

MY OBSESSION WITH TEACHERS CONTINUES.....

     And my obsession with horny teachers continues with this lovely story about a science teacher from North Carolina, of all places. So, it turns out a North Carolina middle school teacher is being accused of sending nude pics and an erotic video of herself to at least two former students. I still don't understand why these hetero, male students would ever tell on the teacher? If anything at all, I would be asking for more! They were in middle school, right? They must've been just getting into the whole masturbation thing and nothing beats rubbing one out to one of your hot teachers, right? I mean, um...well, you know what I mean. Come on, guys! Am I alone here?

     Anyway, 34-year-old, Caron Blanton turned herself in on Tuesday after someone saw the content on a student's phone at Burns High School in Cleveland County. Oh, so the boys didn't turn her in. It was probably a jealous girlfriend or something. According to the Cleveland County Sheriff's Office, "It started out as a basic picture and then onto a bathing suit picture and it ended up getting to the nudity and on into the video." The deputies explained that the video showed the educator performing a "sex act on herself." Is this where I insert, "I need proof of the video to make any judgment about the teacher?"

     Blanton apparently sent the inappropriate photos to the teens over the course of two years, but started while they were students at Burns Middle School and continued into their days in high school. "There's no question in our mind who is in the video. Who made the video. We know exactly who was in the video," said the Sheriff's Office. Blanton was charged with three counts of indecent liberties with a child under 16 and six counts of disseminating obscene material to a minor. She's been out of jail on a $150,000 bond. 

     Here's what I'm thinking; should Blanton really be in jail? I mean, it's not like she touched or molested any of the boys. The teachers who were put in jail in past stories, actually had sex with those boys. According to these reports, all Blanton did was send naked photos and a sexual video of herself. Big deal! She lost her job, she's been fined, and now she's a sex offender. Isn't that enough? Does she really need jail time? I'd like to see these pictures to decide if she deserves jail time. Damn! I used that joke twice in this blog!

WHAT A WAY TO DIE...

     I'm really not sure what to make of this story because two really bad things happened. First, a couple was found dead, butt naked in a bathtub next to a gallon of vodka. Second, the couple wasn't even married, so there are some pretty pissed off other halves. Let me explain what happened and you let me know what you think. 

     So, a mailman found a 66-year-old woman and a 58-year-old man naked and dead in a Brooklyn apartment bathtub with the water still running and an empty gallon of vodka nearby. Alicia Wieczorkiewicz and Jacek Crockiewitz (okay, seriously with the last names!) were facing each other in the bath in a Greenpoint apartment when they were found at about 1:50 pm on Sunday. The postal worker had been making a special delivery on a Sunday to the Nassau Avenue dwelling said Izzy Doumah, who manages a deli across the street. He said the mailman came out shouting, "Call the cops! Call the cops! They're dead in the bathtub! They're both butt naked in the tub!"

     Doumah said that the two were not married and that Crockiewitz's wife showed up at the home later in the day. He said that she was crying and was really upset, but she was also pissed because she just found out that her husband had been cheating on her. I'm sorry. Call me an ass, but that part of the story made me chuckle a little bit. Doumah said that Wieczorkiewicz played scratch-off lottery games, liked to drink and lived alone. Apparently, she was a home health attendant who took care of an older woman and she was always a happy person.

     A spokesperson for the medical examiner's office said the causes of death are pending further examinations. There was no criminality suspected just yet. Okay, I told you the story. What the hell? I guess we have to wait and see what the coroner says to come to our own conclusion. I just feel bad for the wife who found out her husband was cheating on her and was dead in a bathtub, butt-naked with some other woman. I have nothing else to say...

US AIRWAYS X-RATED TWEETS

     I can't be the only one in America who finds this story absolutely hilarious. I can tell you right now that officials for U.S. Airways are not laughing as loud as I am here in my home office.

     So, it turns out; a shockingly (but funny) graphic tweet  by U.S. Airways featuring a woman and a toy airplane has led to an investigation and a red-faced apology by the airline. The photo was of a naked woman lying fully exposed on a bed with her legs spread up in the air and a toy plane jammed right between her legs. The photo, which i would have shared on here uncensored if I knew I wasn't going to have my blog taken down, was shared by the airline late Monday afternoon while responding to, yet another, disgruntled customer who was angry about a recent flight delay. I say "yet another" because U.S. Airways has been on the receiving end of many of my rants while traveling, leading me to believe that I am definitely not alone in this battle. 

     Anyway, the extremely inappropriate (but funny) image sent to one Twitter user came with the caption: "We welcome feedback, Elle. If your travel is complete, you can detail it here for review and follow-up." THAT...IS...HYSTERICAL! So, instead of a link matching that description, there was a link to the photo. This only tells me that whomever handles U.S. Airways Twitter page has photos like this saved on their computer and it was accidentally uploaded, which is an absolute nightmare for anyone who handles web content. This should be an example of keeping your work computer clean of anything pornographic, which reminds me; I have to clean my computer out when I get to work. 

     One of two Twitter users, who previously asked for "some free stuff" for her delay, responded to the direct tweet by saying, "@USAirways that was not inappropriate at all lol." Needless to say, the tweet was soon deleted on the airlines' Twitter feed and replaced with this apology: "We apologize for an inappropriate image recently shared as a link in one of our responses. We've removed the tweet and are investigating it." If you ask me it was a little too late. Take a look at some of the immediate responses U.S. Airways received on their Twitter:

BOOK REVIEW: SOCIAL PR SECRETS

     Here's something that I haven't done in my blog for quite some time because I mainly keep my reviews for The Aquarian Weekly, but this review has to happen for my Online PR class, so once again bear with me as this review is mainly for my classmates and teacher. You can read a brand new blog tomorrow morning! If you're interested in a new an interesting book about the Public Relations field, then by all means read on. 

     The book that I'm speaking of is called Social PR Secrets by Lisa Buyer. Lisa is the CEO of the Buyer Group, a Social PR agency, who travels the world to speak at conferences, workshops and special events about the advantages of Social PR. She even does webinars on the Internet. 

     As far as the book goes, I thought that it was a pretty easy read full of lots of tips when it comes to web content, news releases, blogging and other social media outlets, and best of all S.E.O. Most of the tips that I read about in the book was more of a review for me as I incorporate a lot of these practices in my job now as a marketing director/public relations for a concert promoter. If I only had this book a few years earlier, I could have been ahead of the game, but the fact that I had to read this for my class made it more of a review. 

     Do I think that this book could be beneficial to those just breaking into the field? Absolutely! In fact, this book might have been an easier read than those dumb "Social PR Secrets for Dummies" books. The chapters were short, but to the point from Hootsuite to Pintrest to YouTube to making calendars. This book is a definite must for those starting out in the business.

Grab a copy here: http://amzn.to/1gxiEbC

FOR THOSE OF YOU NOT IN THE KNOW, WHAT IS SEO?

     Those of you writing your own blogs or running your own businesses may have seen the acronym for Search Engine Optimization before, otherwise known as S.E.O. Those of you may be become familiar with the acronym, like I did, while you looked for work because many companies see this as a skill set now. If you are skilled at helping their company to become more visible on any web browser, you can be a valuable member of any team. 

    Search Engine Optimization or S.E.O. is the process of getting traffic or "clicks" from the “free,” “organic,” “editorial” or “natural” listings on search engines. All of the major search engines like Google, Yahoo and Bing have these types of results, where web pages and other content like videos are shown, but they're ranked based on what the search engine considers most relevant to their users. There is no pay involved, but it does come down to using the right labels or keywords. The goal is optimizing your product on the major search engines. 
     
     A great way to compare S.E.O. to social media would be phrase "trending" on Twitter or Facebook. When something is trending on those sites, it means that everyone is talking about it and it's a hot topic. Now, because it's a hot topic, it might rank really high on the search engines because people are searching for that trending topic. Therefore, it will be search engine optimized because everyone and their mother wants to know more about it. So, it ranks really high and will be one of the first links on the first page of Google, Yahoo, or Bing. Typically SEO is ranked based on 2 things. Content that is directly controlled by the publisher and content that is influenced by readers and site visitors. 

     As I said earlier, I actually learned more about this when I was out of work and trying to update my skill set for a better resume. I actually learned more about it via lynda.com last semester in school. Having skills in S.E.O. will definitely be beneficial as many of you look for work in the near future. For more about S.E.O. take a look at this quick video: 

ME MAKE PEE PEE IN YOUR TEA

     Why does this stuff always have to happen in China? It does crack me up, though. So, a male kindergarten teacher in eastern China was caught on video peeing into the tea of his female colleagues and here's the best part; he won't be prosecuted for is because he has no infectious diseases. 

     Gao Chao was arrested after a secret smartphone camera video footage caught him urinating into the cups of four women teachers at Dongsheng Art Kindergarten in eastern China. The women complained that their tea tasted funny, but that the taste was familiar. Okay, so I made up the second half of that statement. Anyway, one of the teachers said, "There was a strange smell from my tea when I returned to the classroom after taking the children out to play in the playground. The cups are not transparent so it was hard to see if the liquid looked strange but there was certainly a strange smell, which also came from the thermos flasks that the tea was stored it." Am I the only one laughing? This guy had some set of balls and some really smelly pee. 

     After filming Gao, the women reported him to the police, but the officers said they could not act because he had not caused any harm and did not have any diseases. That is hysterical! So, you can serve people piss in China and have no repercussions as long as you don't have any diseases. That is great! All of the victims were female between the ages of 21 and 26 and they all refused to return to work if Gao, who is 54, remained in his job, but after receiving compensation of around $300 and an apology, the women returned to work. Suckers! Gao kept his job and it is reported that he peed in their cups because he felt he was not receiving enough respect from his female colleagues. At that point who the hell cares, seriously! The best part is that got to keep his job and those women went back to work, which means nothing happened at all and this guy peed in their tea! Are you laughing now? Also, if I'm not mistaken "Gao" is Chinese for dog, which makes this story even better!

ANGELINA JOLIE'S SEX-CRAZED LOOK-A-LIKE

     This was my alternate story yesterday because it cracked me up so hard that this actually happened. So, apparently, there this Angelina Jolie look-a-like from Romania, who allegedly held a taxi driver at knife point and forced him to have sex with him a couple of times and when he couldn't perform a third time, she started stabbing him! Am I the only one who finds hysterics in this? I mean who can't perform more than three times? Then again, who can perform at all with a knife on them?

     31-year-old, Luminita Perijoc reportedly pounced on Nicolae Stan, 35, after he delivered wine to her apartment in Tulcea, eastern Romania, back in 2012. That's when she grabbed him and dragged him inside, she forced him to undress by threatening him with a 4-inch blade. While pointing the blade at him, he had intercourse with her and then performed oral sex on her, but when he couldn't perform a third time, she stabbed him six times before he managed to escape and lock himself in a bedroom and call the cops. 

     The officers finally arrived and rushed Stan to the hospital. Perijoc, who reportedly styles herself after Jolie, was arrested and initially tried to claim that she was the victim. How? How the hell is she claiming to be the victim if this guy has stab wounds all over him? Unfortunately for her, the court found her guilty and handed her a four year suspended sentence, after she claimed she'd been on strong medication at the time of the attack. 

     

     Stan, a married father of three, said that while Perijoc had been essentially let off the hook, he had been given a "life sentence" of teasing. I don't get it. Why would he be getting teased? He got to bang an Angelina Jolie look-a-like. Perijoc wasn't exactly ugly. She was just crazy. Then a again having sex with someone at knife point sounds kind of hot without the stabbing. Stan said," It's terrible. I am not a local celebrity, everyone is talking about me. They don't understand why I refused her, but they do not know what it is like to have a mad woman yelling at you at knife point." I actually kind of wish that I did know. Something tells me that Stan didn't want to perform the third act because maybe Perijoc might have smelled a little down there and he couldn't get the smell out of his nose  enough to perform again. I can see that being difficult. Either way, what the hell is wrong with people?

HORNY DWARF

     Those of you who personally know me, know that I have this extremely rare phobia of "little people." Don't ask me why because I really have the faintest idea. Hey, some of you are deathly afraid of heights, clowns, bugs, etc. Do you hear me asking you why you're afraid of those things? Then don't ask! 

     Anyway, my point in explaining my phobia was so you knew how difficult it was for me to tell you this story about this "little" Kansas man, who allegedly drove to Florida without a bathroom break when he realized a teen girl from the sunny state was willing to have sex with him. Did he hole his pee, you ask? Wait! It gets better! So, 40-year-old, Christopher Lanning, was reportedly so horny and in a fit of passion that he urinated into a bottle during his 18-hour drive from Kansas City. The stench inside his car chocked the cops who nabbed him at a Longwood, Florida gas station on Tuesday. According to Longwood Police, the stench was "pretty bad." 

     Lanning, who has dwarfism (yuck), thought he was chatting up a 14-year-old girl from a Seminole County high school, when he was in fact, speaking to an undercover police officer who was part of a sting operation that started in March. The undercover officer said that Lanning contacted them.

      Lanning is facing a number of charges, including traveling to meet a child for sex and transmitting obscene material to a minor. Wait! Does that mean he was sending pictures of his penis to her? I think I just threw up in my mouth! Is it possible that Lanning was going after a young girl because she would be the same height as he is? Or do you think that he is generally just a dwarf who suffers from pedophilia also? He was booked into Seminole County Jail on $15,300 bond and a judge banned him from using the computer or Internet. His arraignment is set for May 20. While he was in court on Wednesday, Lanning admitted he had blundered by saying, "I made a major mistake in judgement." This whole story creeps me out, so my apologies for keeping this blog so "short!"

THE NEW RULES OF MEDIA RELATIONS

     Yes, normally, I write about teachers having sex with their students or people killing animals or something that has to do with the legalization of marijuana, but today I have a bit of classwork to do, so bare with me on today's blog post. The funny thing that some of you reading my blogs on a daily basis is that for the last month, my blog posts have actually been for a grade in an Online Public Relations class at Rowan University. The class is based around using new and social media and incorporating it with traditional public relations practices. It's a very interesting class and it's interesting to see how traditional practices of PR have evolved. 

     I remember when I first got into the media broadcasting field, receiving press releases from a PR firm to promote their artist, author, or one of their TV or movie celebrities, meant they were giving us the rundown on what their clients were promoting as far as products or an upcoming show or movie. The same went for products, where PR used to send out, by snail mail, press releases to let journalists or the media to let them know about their new products along with a sample for them to try. 

     Today, these practices are a lot different. Today they don't just send news releases out when big news is happening. PR practitioner seem to find good reasons  to send them all the time now. Also, they don't only target a handful of journalists anymore. With the use of online and everyone being on it, they create news releases that appeal directly to the buyers now. Releases are now also written in terminology that the buyers can understand as opposed to using industry lingo. They also include offers to make consumers respond to the release in some way. One of the best new tools of posting news releases online now is placing a link within the press release to deliver potential customers to landing pages on a company's website. These new ways of writing releases have allowed PR practitioners to also link related content on the company's site like videos, blog posts, or even e-books. The releases have also, obviously, optimized delivery for searching and browsing purposes. 

     With my new position as a marketing director for a concert promoter, I have actually used these new practices to reach radio stations and print media. Yes, they still get them, but they get them now in the form of an email. When I send these releases out, it also allows me to paste a link to the release of the artist or band that we are announcing. This way the journalist or the radio programmer knows which artist I am speaking of. As a journalist myself, I too am bombarded with online press releases from publicists proposing for me to do interviews with their celebrities. Many times, I'll receive an email just saying click the link to see the Press Release and the landing page will be a press release on the record company or the management company's website. Other press releases that I receive are imbedded right in the email with links to the artist's page, Facebook, Twitter and whatever website is relevant to their artists. 

      These practices have come a long way since I got into the business and with technology ever changing, so will the rules. So it is always best to stay on top of the newest technology. The funny thing is this weekend, I saw my old co-worker Whoopi Goldberg, do her stand-up at the Revel Casino in Atlantic City and she actually mentioned staying up-to-date with the latest technology. She says that she hates Twitter and she hates Facebook, but yet she finds herself on them every day because it's the best way for her to react with her fans, but also she feels at her age, she also needs to stay on top of technology and what the kids are doing because it's constantly changing and you don't want to be sitting there one day going, "Huh?"

WONG PLACE, WONG TIME

 

     Originally, I intended to write about the the Yoga enthusiast who was arrested at a Virginia national park for masturbating in public and throwing dead animals at oncoming cars. Then I changed my mind and thought about that story from yesterday about a New Jersey man who rented out a house that he didn't even own and made out with $6000. But then, I saw this story and it trumped both of the stories that I intended to write about. No, this isn't a photo of my mom and aunt, though, they can definitely pass for relatives. 

     Anyway, I love this story; two out-of-state teens were recently caught up in a bizarre undercover sex sting at a Florida massage parlor. The allegedly innocent 16-year-old pals were dropped off by their parents at the Jasmine Massage Parlor in Osceola, Florida, for a sports rubdown to relax strains sustained during a full day of surfing. Um, shouldn't that have been red flag number one? Jasmine Massage Parlor filled with Asian women? "Want Happy Ending?" Hello? The boys ended up being "slap bang" in the middle of a prostitution bust. 

     The drama reportedly went down shortly before 11 p.m. last Wednesday, when the two boys arrived at the West U.S. Highway 192 venue at the same time as vice squad members. According to one of the plain-clothed detectives, who was waiting in the lobby, he saw one of the boys sprint out of the building. He was closely followed by his friend and then an angry masseuse, who was later identified as 51-year-old Lijun Shi. It turns out; the nervous teens allegedly forked cash over to Shi as "she" screamed at them before a third client emerged from another room yelling: "That was the worst sex act ever." Claiming he'd suffered an injury, the unhappy customer advised the undercover agents to "go somewhere else!" According to the police report, this event took place as Shi and the partially clothed owner, 54-year-old Zhu Fang Liu, also stood in the lobby yelling, probably in Chinese which to me just sounds like a bunch of high-pitched barking dogs. Growing up in a Chinese family, whenever Chinese women spoke, they were always loud and annoying for no apparent reason. 

     So, the teens had been detained outside the massage parlor with one saying that his "therapist" had asked him if he was at school before grabbing his goods. Claiming he was terrified, he said that he thought he was going to receive a genuine massage and was shocked to find out what was really on offer. Yeah, right! Did the police realize that the parents dropped them off near 11 p.m.? What parents are going to take their kids to a legit massage parlor at 11 p.m.? Actually, what legit massage parlor is open at 11 p.m.? I think these kids knew where they were going. It just happened to be their first time and of course, they were scared; there were police all over the place. I would be scared too! Also, their parents have to be really dumb and naive to even think that dropping their kids off at a massage parlor at 11 p.m. was a good idea. 

     Liu allegedly offered a cop sexual services for a tip and she was arrested alongside Shi, who was arrested and charged with living off the earnings of prostitution, assignation to commit prostitution and disorderly conduct. Liu was charged with living off the earnings of prostitution and two counts of keeping a house of ill repute. The two teens were released to their parents. According to the sheriff's department, the boys claimed that the day before they had done some sort of surfing exercise that injured their backs and they went to get a  legitimate massage and didn't realize that the establishment offered additional services. I'm calling bullshit on this one. I was 16-yeas-old once too many, many years ago, and these were the types of places I always looked for. These boys knew where they were going, they knew how to dupe their parents into taking them, and now they are using their youthful, naive innocence to help them get out of trouble. That's what I see when I go through this story. I just can't believe that the Florida police are too dumb to see through this. Then again, it is Florida.