You're going to love this story! So, an elderly woman was hospitalized after "Bedazzling" her vagina with her granddaughter's arts and crafts kit. Yes, she was "tricking out" her va-jay-jay with her granddaughter's Bedazzle kit. How'd that vomit taste going back down?
According to family members, the granny, only named as Vandorsum in the article, had signed up for an online dating service recently, where she met a 36-year-old male who asked her out on a date after seeing her eHarmony profile pic (above.....don't ask!). The family tried to convince the great-grandmother of 22 to reconsider, mainly because of the age of her newly discovered beau. However, they said Vandorsum was persistent and "ready for an adventure."
Everything took a horrible turn on Saturday evening when Vandorsum began complaining of shortness of breath, nausea and dizziness. Her daughter, Ruth, insisted on taking her to the hospital and when they arrived, Ruth explained to the ER doctor that her mom had been on a date with the younger man the previous night and it may have been a bit much on her. But that's when Vandorsum interjected and confessed to the doctor the real story.
She confessed, "Oh, I don't think it was the date itself, sweetie. I think it might have been that damn Bedazzle kit I stole from Lizzie's room before my date on Friday. I decided to bling out my goodies, you know just like those rap stars do to their teeth. And I did just that. And boy was he surprised. I laid on my side and lifted my leg in the air, and said, 'Hey Yum Yum, do you like my new smile? It's VaJazzled!' I was blinged from front to back. He said it looked more like a frown. But that didn't stop him!" Okay, I literally just threw up a little. I'm not even kidding!
After the examination by the doctor, he found that several of the gems had been forced up into Vandorsum's uterus. Additionally, she had used superglue to attach the gems to her vaginal area, causing the poison to get into her system. The superglue and gemstones were settled into her vaginal wall for over 24 hours causing swelling, infection and lesions. I seriously just threw up again!
Vandorsum was treated and released the following day. Doctors said this is not the first time they have seen somebody come into ER for trying to spruce yo their feminine parts. However, they did say this is the first time they had ever seen anybody above the age of 50. What.....the......hell? Why would anyone in their right mind put superglue or gems anywhere near their 'goodies'? I wonder if any of the super glue was mistaken for man juice. Either way, I cannot unsee this, I cannot unread this, and if I can't, neither can you! Enjoy the rest of your day!
No comments:
Post a Comment