TOPLESS SELFIES WHILE DRIVING....A NEW TREND?

     I hate people who talk on their handheld cell phones while they're driving, or texters who have to text while they're driving. I mean, why can't it wait? You put the lives of everyone around you at risk. Then there's this stupid idiot, a 19-year-old Texas A&M student, who chose to take a topless selfie while driving and slammed into the rear of a stopped police car. Winner! Yes, she was arrested last Thursday! Maybe the topless selfie, just couldn't wait? 

     Miranda Rader also had an open bottle of wine in a cup holder next to her, according to the Bryan Police Department. The accident happened on Wednesday near the university about 100 miles northwest of Houston, causing the airbag to deploy. Police said that when the officer whose car was hit approached Rader, she was trying to put her blouse back on. So, she wasn't texting, but she was taking topless selfies and she was drunk? This girl is in big trouble!

     The arresting officer wrote in an affidavit, "I asked her why she was not dressed while driving and she stated she was taking a Snapchat photo to send to her boyfriend while she was at a red light." Oh, that's even better! 

     Rader was arrested on suspicion of driving while intoxicated and released on a bond of $2,000. Please, people! No topless selfies, or texting while you're driving. It can wait! I hate it when people take selfies while they're driving or take videos of themselves in traffic. More attention should be paid to the road when you're driving. Chalk this up to another reason why I hate people. 

THE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER

     Is this really the face of a wedding photographer that you would hire? Um, yeah, no thanks! This is Mario Antoine of Raymore, Missouri. He's a former wedding photographer who is facing multiple charges after allegedly tricking dozens of women into having sex with him, then blackmailing them to ensure their silence. First of all, who the hell would have sex with this moron? Secondly, who would have sex with this moron? 

     Antoine was indicted on Monday before a federal grand jury on 21 counts, and was accused of luring dozens of Kansas City-area women to fake pornography auditions. The women of Kansas City must be desperate. Antoine, who is 33, was the subject of multiple investigations for allegedly defrauding brides and grooms out of wedding photos and services, and following a recent conviction, he served a jail term that a judge ordered after he violated probation in late 2015.

     The latest allegations against him claim that he posed as a talent manager, photographer and videographer for fake companies with names like "Playboy Worldwide", "Playboy Asia" and "Dash Agency." According to court papers, he claimed to manage private overseas porn websites, and the beginning of 2011, he auditioned victims, telling them he was scouting models for the fake websites. Based on the investigation, Antoine searched on Google for "rape by deception", "rape by deception Kansas" and "Illegal to trick girls into sleeping with you." He's said to have looked at law journals to investigate the criminal aspect of rape of fraud or deception.

     The U.S. Attorney's Office says he promised to pay tens of thousands of dollars when victims agreed to contracts where they performed for modeling shoots and engaged in sexual activity, which he shot and recorded, but then never paid them. When they complained about the non-payments, he's accused of sending lewd images of the victims to their employers and significant others. 

     Antoine was also accused of forging and falsifying documents, including tax forms and checks made out to other models, to make his operation appear to be real. The federal indictment says that he would communicate with prospective victims online while using an alias, and used photos of other victims he shot as proof of his legitimate photo shoots. 

     In one case, where a victim wasn't paid for shoots between 2011 and 2012, he allegedly told the victim she could either pay him $9,000 in exchange for not selling or distributing the images, or she could have sex with him. The news release says the victim had sex with him in order to keep him from releasing the images. In another case, where the victim pressed him for payment, he allegedly sent nude images of her to her employer that he recorded when they had sex. This guy is a savage! Wow!

     Antoine faces 12 counts of wire fraud, two counts of cyberstalking, two counts of online enticement, two counts of making false statements to federal law enforcement agents, one count of obstructing justice, one count of extortion and one count of falsely registering a domain name. 

     I have to say, "Unbelievable!" This guy had a plan to get laid. Unfortunately for him, his plan to get laid included many illegal things. I mean look at the guy. Would he get laid under normal circumstances? I'm sure even he couldn't get laid using Tinder. Sometimes you need to do what you need to do to have sex. This is what he needed to do. I don't agree with it and I find him to be an animal, but my question is how the hell did he get away with it for so many years? And are the women of Kansas City that desperate that they would even bang him? He looks like Igor! Just sayin'...

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE?

     And these are the stories we love in my Buzz Kill Ramblings! So, apparently, doctors in Honduras had to amputate a man's penis after it became trapped in a bottle he was using as a sex toy. Yes, he stuck his penis in a bottle! I mean, who hasn't, right? 

     For four days, a 50-year-old man attempted to use the bottle for sexual stimulation, but it wasn't until his penis turned black when he sought our medical attention. Why wouldn't you use a little lube for easy in and out? Just sayin....

     The urologist who conducted the operation said that the man was unmarried and didn't have a girlfriend. In attempting to ease some sexual frustration, "he put his penis in a bottle, and this caused the death and necrosis of the penis." What the hell is necrosis? Necrosis is a condition in which the cells in a portion of the body die and cannot regenerate. It often ends with amputation, as in this case. 

     The doctor said, "When he arrived four days later, we had to amputate the penis completely because it was completely dead. This is an embarrassing emergency. The situation with this patient is that he didn't the medical attention in time, and this caused the penis to begin to decay. It had gone completely black and had begun to decay. The necrosis was very severe."

     Okay, all kidding aside, why would anyone stick there penis in a bottle? Shouldn't they be putting their dick in a box? Sorry, I couldn't resist. This might be one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard. Note to self....No bottles when the wife is away!

TAKING A TACO STAND

     When did this sense of entitlement in this new generation of kids come about? When I was younger, I worked for everything that I earned. I had a paper route, worked odds and ends jobs, and did what I could so that I can buy what I wanted to with my own cash without ever relying on my parents. Now, kids are beating up their parents for not giving them money for Taco Bell? That's what this young Tennessee man did. He knocked his mother out cold, striking her in the head with a hockey stick because she could not pay for his Taco Bell dinner. This is why I hate people! Really? Get a job and pay for your own damn Taco Bell!

     Logan Badgley, 22, decided he wasn't going to take his mother's sauciness any longer. The Lakeland man has been charged with aggravated assault after a neighbor saw him beating up his mother, Melanie Badgley, with something initially thought to be a golf club. Sounds like someone's been watching too much of The Walking Dead! 

     An argument between mother and son started after Logan said he wanted his mother's debit card to go buy food at a local Taco Bell on Saturday night. Melanie said she couldn't pay for his food, because the card had a zero balance. According to a police report, Logan "took the card anyway and left the residence."

     It wasn't long before Logan returned home and, as Melanie told police, he "was angry" with her because "there was no money" in the bank account. Um, well, she did tell him, didn't she? Kids just don't listen these days! The two were in the garage when the young man grabbed a hockey stick and started hitting a freezer. He then struck his mother on the left side of her head, knocking her out.

     The neighbor who witnessed the argument through their opened garage door called the police. She said that she could not see the attack, however, she did see Logan shut the door before hitting his mother. According to police, Melanie "suffered an approximately 1 laceration on the head, behind her left ear." Logan confessed that he had "consumed a few alcoholic beverages during the night", but also did not provide his side of the story to police. 

     All I can say is, "What a piece of shit!" First of all, who hits their parent? Especially, at the age of 22. Secondly, go out and get a job! Why would your mom have to pay for your Taco Bell! Thirdly, Taco Bell? Really? Isn't it like a dollar for a soft taco? Like I said, where is this sense of entitlement coming from? We seriously are doomed as a society if this sense continues. Then again, is it sense of entitlement or just poor parenting? 

UNSAFE AIRWAYS?

     Don't worry! No Walking Dead spoilers here! But if you didn't watch it last night, shame on you! And shame on you American Airlines for allowing two passengers on your plane without a boarding pass!

     With a wife who flew out of Philadelphia International this morning for work and the two of us flying out of there next Friday, this news doesn't sit too well with me. So, you know that feeling you get when you realize you've left the car unlocked overnight? Well, that the feeling that American Airlines allegedly felt like after two passengers apparently walked onto an unlocked plane sitting at the Philadelphia International Airport without even showing anyone their boarding passes. This is a post 9/11 world we're living in still, right? Why would this be allowed to happen? 

     American Airlines is calling it a case of "unauthorized access." I don't care what they're calling it, someone needs to pay because people's safety was was risk. What if those two passengers left a bomb on that plane and half the terminal blew up because it. No way! A case of "unauthorized access" is unacceptable if you ask me. According to reports, a man and his 21-year-old daughter simply walked onto the plane, stowed their luggage, then went back out to the gate area to wait for their flight to Boston. As I'm writing this, why would any passenger in their right mind think it was okay to walk onto the plane and stow their luggage before they got on anyway? Why couldn't they just be patient and wait like everyone else? I don't get it! They have to be from Florida!

     The father told one news channel, "Someone went through the door first. We just followed him." Oh well, that guy just jumped off a bridge. Why don't you just follow him? Another passenger told the station that the captain of the flight said the plane was open all night. He said, "The pilot said the jetway door was open overnight. The plane was not secure." Yeah, that makes me feel really safe! How is American Airlines, one of the largest airline companies in the world, allowing this to be okay and passing it off as an "unauthorized access"?

     American Airlines later this morning issued a statement, "Two passengers gained unauthorized access to one of our aircrafts earlier this morning. Out of an abundance of caution, we are utilizing a different aircraft for the flight to Boston. We apologize to our customers for the inconvenience." Investigators are now looking into how the passengers were able to open a secured door, but foul play is not suspected. Still, this is one safety hazard that never should have happened in a post 9/11 world.

HAPPY HOUR!.....WEED WINE

     Anyone who knows me, knows I do not drink, but I do love my herbals. Now, they've combined something that I love with something I cannot do. I mean, people have been mixing weed with booze for as long as both have even been available. 

     Well, a couple of marijuana pioneers are making it easier than ever to feel the relaxing effects of alcohol and pot together. Verdad Wines owner Louisa Sawyer Lindquist and marijuana dispensary owner Lisa Molyneux have created a weed-infused wine called "Canna Vine" which will soon be on the market soon. 

     Like a lot of cannabis-related news, this comes with stipulations. It's only legal in California for residents with medical marijuana license. It's illegal to infuse alcoholic beverages with marijuana almost everywhere in the U.S., even in state like Colorado and Washington, where recreational use of marijuana is allowed. 

     Rock 'N' Roller and cancer survivor, Melissa Etheridge, who has her own line of Molyneaux's cannabis wine called "Know Label." She spoke to the LA Times about the benefits of this sweet green wine and said, "I couldn't smoke or use a vaporizer, and I was never really an edibles eater. I didn't want to be out of it. Molyneaux's tincture seemed to solve some of these issues. It lands in a really beautiful place." 

     If you happen to be a California resident with a medical marijuana card that permits you to use medical marijuana, all you need is $140 to get your hands on what has to be one of the best medicines ever invented and make sure you send an invite this way for your wine and munchies Very Happy Hour. Looks like it might finally be time to pack up and move out to California. 

DO YOU TAKE YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE?

     Normally, I would start a story like this with "Only in Florida!" But this story is so out there, that I don't even think I can use that quote, though, it did happen in Florida. 

     So, a 68-year-old man from Miami's Golden Beach neighborhood has reportedly had a 'terrible shock' after discovering that his new bride of three months, a 24-year-old woman from Jacksonville, is actually his own biological granddaughter. Is that still considered incest? I mean, I guess it is, right? 

     The couple made the discovery while looking through a photo album belonging to the 68-year-old, who has requested that both he and his partner not be named by the media. In the photo album were photos of the 68-year-old's children from his first marriage, and one of the children was the bride's own father. That.....is......hysterical!

     According to the 68-year-old, he had become estranged from the children of that marriage after his spouse left him, taking the children away and moving to an undisclosed location. He said, "All these years, I was never able to find her," claiming that he'd hired several private investigators who had all failed to locate his ex-wife and children. As the years went by, the man remarried and had several more children with a second wife. That relationship ended in divorce in 2009 and had a serious impact on his finances. However, in 2011, the man received an abrupt change in fortune after a Powerball syndicate he was involved in won a jackpot prize. 

      With this unexpected jackpot, which totaled 'several million dollars,' he was able to move from his small apartment into a waterfront property in Golden Beach. Life was good for a while, but being single made him lonely and yearn for a companion. He said, "The only people who wanted to see me were my ex-wife and kids, and they were always asking for money." 

     In 2015, the mad decided that it was time to try and find a new wife, and he set out on a search for a suitable partner. He signed up with a local dating agency that specializes in matching older men with women. As he browsed the dating site, he came across the profile of the 24-year-old travelling down from Jacksonville to meet with him. He said, "We just hit it off right from when she walked into the restaurant." Over the next few weeks, the couple would have several more dates, but at no time was the topic of family discussed in great detail. He said, "At some point, she mentioned that her family lived in Montgomery, but that she hadn't been in contact with them for years due to a dispute. She said she'd fooled around a bit in high school and ended up getting pregnant, and her father, who I later found out is actually my eldest son from my first marriage, kicked her out of the family house." The couples' dates led to a 2015 New Year's Eve proposal on the shore near his Golden Beach property. 

     Despite their shocking discovery, the couple vowed not to divorce, and are committed to  making their marriage a success. They claim that if they never found this news out, they would've lived their lives happily together, regardless. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet. I mean considering they didn't know, doesn't that make them distant relatives? Then again, they are already bound by blood since he is the biological grandfather. I'm torn....