MY TUTOR

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THE ODOR-EATING TOILET

     With Ferguson, Missouri burning itself to the ground over a kid who was poorly parented, I have a new invention to inform you about that will be all the rage this holiday season. I mean come on! Why is everyone making this a black or white issue. Parenting has no race and bad parenting will bring tragedy like this to any city. Is it worth burning down and looting your entire city? Is one kid's life worth acting like animals? Come on! This is so stupid! The terrorists in Isis are sitting in their caves laughing at us right now say, "We don't need to terrorize them! They do it to themselves." Is burning a city down and looting going to bring Michael Brown back? Is it going to change the decision of the court? The answer is NO! Will your city have to rebuild now from your stupidity? The answer to that is YES! 

     Therefore, today, I present to you the first odor-eating toilet seat, which is aimed at ridding restrooms across the country of the smell produced when we take our craps! Stop shaking your head. Crapping is a natural part of life. This is actually the second time human waste has been in the news within the past week. Last week, a company in England announced that they were using human feces to power a bus. This week Kohler releases this odor-eating toilet seat. 

     According to the Associated Press, the latest invention in toilet seats, the Purefresh, aims to eliminate the odors left behind in the bathroom to make the experience more pleasant and make cohabitation easier for everyone. I don't know. I don't have this problem. Purefresh, which went on sale earlier this month contains a fan hidden in a battery-operated seat that sucks in air and pushes it through an odor-eating carbon filter and an optional scent pack. According to officials with Kohler, "The toilet works to attack smells 'where the action is.'" To do so, the seat turns on automatically when a user sits down. The fan then emits a light hum as it filters odors. I'm sure the light fanning will tickle the hairs on your fanny as well. 

     The seat requires two D batteries to do its job and it uses scent packs similar to what might be found in car air fresheners. And just like the air fresheners used in cars and homes, the air fresheners in these toilet seats must be replaced periodically as well. The scents include Garden Waterfall, Soft and Fresh Laundry or Avocado Spa. In addition to wiping out bathroom odors, the Purefresh also comes equipped with two LED light settings to make sure consumers make their way to the bathroom without incident in the middle of the night. 

     I have to admit that this is pretty awesome. Kohler isn't the only company to get on the odor-eating bandwagon. A San Francisco-based company called Brondell introduced a similar seat back in 2006, but it had to be pulled off the market because the cost to produce the devise was way to high. I'm sure Kohler will not be having that problem. With Christmas around the corner, I would gladly add this to my Christmas wish list! By the way, I have three bathrooms...wink wink!

CHECK YOUR BUTT

 

     So, last month a woman walking around the streets of New York City with a hidden camera following her, showcased how many catcalls women receive on a daily basis in the Big Apple. The video was supposed to bring an end to street harassment. Yeah, good luck with that! Well, this cheeky hidden camera took to the streets of New York City once again. This month to promote prostate cancer awareness. Now, this is a pretty odd way to promote it, but I have to admit the girl wearing the hidden camera on her ass is pretty hot. Wouldn't you say?

     Anyway, armed with a camera attached to a tight pair of yoga pants, this hottie caught a a lot of men...and women checking her rump out. At the end of the promotional video that went viral, it reminded men they should check their butts out too. In an effort to raise awareness for prostate cancer a model walked around New York City with the camera taped to the back of her pants. A 1-minute video, released earlier this months, showed a slew of men and women, stealing glances of her behind and then urged men to get their regular prostate exam.  

     The Big Apple's famous Naked Cowboy was among the 59 peepers. Costumed characters in Times Square like Elmo, Cookie Monster and Woody for "Toy Story" all stole glimpses. The hilarious video ends with a warning that one in seven men will develop prostate cancer. Since November is Men's Health Awareness Month, the clip urged viewers to #checkyourbutt. To me, all this means is that my fellow man is never safe. We have to be careful how we act in public now because we never know who is filming us. Check out this cheeky and hilarious yet horrifying video! I hope none of you are in it!

PISS OFF!

     Well, next to Florida, I guess New Jersey would be the next trashiest state. Then again, how true can this story be? Anyway, this is 35-year-old Theresa Tumbleson. There is a manhunt for her today because she allegedly allowed her small dog to urinate on 14 dresses and 11 pairs of pants at a clothing store. Um, didn't they say it was a small dog? How can a small dog reach a bunch of dresses and pants?

     According to the report, Tumbleson and her pooch entered a Lane Bryant store earlier this week in Toms River, NJ at around 1 pm. The dog proceeded to urinate on the garments causing more than $2000 in damages. I still don't understand how a small dog can reach the garments to pee on them. Also, how was this dog allowed in the store? Wasn't there a "No Pets Allowed" sign in front of the store? If it was a mall, I thought that dogs weren't allowed in malls either? I almost felt like it was the stores fault for allowing the pet in the store until I read the next part of the story. 

     So, after the dog soiled the $2000 worth of clothing, store personnel asked Tumbleson to leave the business, but she became "belligerent and refused to leave," which prompted workers to call 9-1-1. After officers arrived at Lane Bryant, Tumbleson sped away in her Chevy Malibu, eventually running several red lights while being pursued by police. Due to the wet roadway and fear that the pursuit would endanger others, police discontinued the chase of Tumbleson. 

     In addition to charges stemming from the Lane Bryant incident, Tumbleson will face counts for eluding police and obstruction when she eventually does get apprehended. Bail has already been set at $30,000 for the latter charges. What can I say? I guess the trash isn't always in Florida! We have some here in Jersey too. 

MAN'S BEST FRIEND EATS MAN'S BEST FRIEND

     I don't even know what to say after reading this story. This definitely goes under the category of "What the f**k is wrong with people?" 

     So, a drunk who shot his best friend in the head before chopping off his penis and feeding it to his dog was so overcome with guilt that he turned himself in to the police as soon as he sobered up. WHAT? 

     A drunk Mario Alberto Lizalde Reyes (as if his name wasn't long enough) had been walking his dog with lifelong friend Mario Hernandez Banda, when the two men started arguing. Reyes claimed that Banda had tried to touch him "in a sexual way" in the neighborhood of Parajes de San Isidro, in the city of Ciudad Juarez, in the north-central Mexican state of Chihuahua. Reyes said in an interview, "We were both drunk and he tried touching me in a sexual way. After pushing him off, he went to urinate in an alley, so I followed him, pulled out my gun and shot him in the head. I then took his knife off him and chopped off his penis as punishment and put it in a bag, but my dog was next to me and was sniffing at it so I decide to give it to him and he ate it." Am I the only one about to throw up? Who acts like this? 

     Leaving the bloody body slumped in the alley, Reyes then casually finished walking his dog before going home to sleep off the booze. The next day, he felt so guilty about what he had done, he decided to turn himself in to the police.

     A police spokesperson said, "He came in covered in cuts and bruises, and said that he fought with his stepfather when he told him what he had done. He then admitted to killing his best friend and said that although his friend had tried sexually assaulting him, he was still a human being and didn't deserve to die." Reyes is now facing life in jail. 

     Again, I have no words for this story. I'm actually beside myself that someone can get this drunk to shoot someone in the head, cut their penis off and then feed it to their dog. My mind is blown. Seriously, what can be said after hearing a story like that? Even hearing that the guy was so guilt-ridden that he turned himself in came secondary to what he had done. I mean if you didn't like the sexual advances, then just don't hang out with him anymore. Better yet, when you're that drunk, should you really be handling a firearm? Then again, they were in the city of Juarez, home of the cartel. Like I said...No words.

DO YOU MAKE THE GRADE?

     I have to admit that I am so happy that I am no longer dating and will be someone's husband in less than two months. Some of the new apps on these smart phones lately don't even make dating fun anymore? What ever happened to courting a girl and doing your best to see if there is chemistry there? Or how about being on a bad date and watching the girl squirm to try to end the date sooner rather than later? With these new smartphone apps, they take the fun out of dating and I'm glad that I don't have to do it anymore. I mean only a couple weeks ago, I blogged about an app where women put a device, attached to their phone, on their shoe and when their date was going horrible, all they had to do was click their heels three times and it would trigger the app to call or text them with a family emergency. Like I said, no fun!

     Well, there are two more new dating apps that my fellow man has to be worried about. There is one called The Grade, which just launched on Monday, and was designed to weed out troublemakers and trolls by using an algorithm to assign academic letter grades for the men. The grades are based on user profiles, response rates and message quality, so that unresponsive users are penalized along with those who ask for suggestive photos. Individuals who end up with an "F" average are banned from the app, but they are given the opportunity to appeal their grade. Users who average a "C" or lower will get a warning along with advice on how to bump up their grades. The app was created after market research showed that women on popular dating apps were unhappy with the quantity of low-quality daters and the frequency of inappropriate, hostile and sexually suggestive messages. That's because women pick the wrong guys to date! They always do! Whoever said that men think with their dicks never took women into consideration because they think with their vaginas too and because of that, apps like these need to be developed. 

     Another app launched this month, but is only available to Apple users in the U.K. is called Antidate, which allows women to look at the profiles and locations of male users but the guy cannot view the woman's details unless she indicates that she wants to strike up a conversation with him. Therefore, it's up to the girls to make the first move. The idea for this app is for female users to not have to worry about getting bombarded with unwanted or explicit messages while the men can "sit back and relax" until the ladies initiate contact. Accounts are hooked up through Instagram and users are asked to upload real-time selfies that are then time-stamped. Antidate also features an "Eyeball ID," which is a positive rating if another Antidater confirms that you look like your picture. 

      I don't know. If I had to pick which app I liked best it would be the Antidate one because I feel that when I was dating, that's the way it went anyway. I would wait for the girls to friend me on Myspace or Facebook or whatever it was back when I was still dating. I wouldn't troll those pages and just friend strange women. Then again, there are men out there that do. Any way you look at this; dating is just not fun anymore!

'VACATION BOOBS' MAY BE HERE BY 2016

     It's no secret that all women with mediocre-sized breasts has thought about getting breast implants. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Do really you think that guys with small weiners are content with their sizes as well? Hello, penis pump? Anyway, ladies, what if you had the chance to try these fake boobs on for size before you went ahead had them implanted inside of you? 

     Well, plastic surgeon Norman Rowe is offering women the ability to test-drive breast implants before they buy them. Rowe is the inventor of InstaBreast, a "lunchtime lift" which offers women instant breast enlargement that last 24-hours. Rowe is now hard at work on "Vacation Breasts." The New York City doctor expects that his new augmentation will last at least two to three weeks, which will allow the user to enlarge her breasts for a vacation or a special occasion.

     Rowe isn't revealing the chemical makeup that would be injected into patients, but he did reveal it's a saline solution with an additive that's already used in medical circles for other reasons. Although, Rowe is able to increase women's breast sizes a whole cup to a cup and a half using the InstaBreast procedure, he wanted to prolong the experience for his patients. He says, "24-hours is great, but it's still just 24-hours." He claims it wouldn't just appeal to women considering bikinis for their next cruise or sending in their RSVP to a wedding or class reunion. He says that it would help women who are thinking of getting permanent augmentation to see what the weight will actually feel like and what it will be like to live with new breasts. I mean why not? Like I said earlier, most women think about getting implants. Some don't because of how much it cost to get them. Others don't out of fear because it will totally change their appearance, but I think it changes their appearance in a very good way. It can make an ugly girl much more attractive. Wait! I'm sorry....That was Shallow Tim speaking. This is absolutely weird!

     Rowe says he's been in touch with the FDA and anticipates getting the procedure on the market by 2016. He also went on to say that Men might be able to take advantage of the procedure as well; they can use it to benefit their pecs and calves. What? That's it? If a guy wanted to enhance their pecs and calves, they would just go to the gym and work those parts out. He needs to help find guys a temporary fix for their girth. Oh wait! There are pills for that, right? Nevermind! Let's just stick to 'Vacation Boobs!' 

WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

     First there was the one night stand after a drunken night in bars and then nine months later....Surprise! Your result from that one night stand. Now, there's a new way to find that one night stand without the awkward drunkenness or the surprise of a baby bump. 

     If you look at Internet dating sites, they promise you that they'll find "the one." Today, some women are taking to the Internet to find "the one" who will impregnate them. Instead of relying on sperm banks, a rising number of people are using donor sites to arrange to have sex with strangers to reproduce. Donors and hopeful mothers turn to "natural insemination" because they believe getting pregnant is more likely the old-fashioned way. 

     So, the strangers find each other on sites devoted to co-parenting and Facebook groups like Free Sperm Donors. The deal is an alternative for men who want to father children without any strings attached and a way for women to use donors at a much lower financial cost, although the cost of sexually transmitted infections and abuse could be high for all parties. One girl, who remained anonymous, found natural insemination while searching the Internet for "free sperm" options and decided on the method for its lower costs and fresh sperm over the frozen kind. 

     Men, who post ads to donate via sex, insist that it's not about scoring. One guy named Joe said, "People might want to have millions of dollars in the bank, and then, you know, some of us might want to have dozens of children out there. I'm unable to have as many children as I want in my relationship, and that would be unreasonable to ask a woman to give birth to 30 children." Joe is a star! By the way, Joe's slept with more than 100 women in seven years for natural insemination. He travels the country to impregnate women in what looks like his "Superhero" life. Unbeknownst to his wife and three teenage children, who are part of his "Clark Kent" life. He hopes to have as many children as possible. Didn't they make a movie about this with Vince Vaughn? 

     There were so many more stories like Joe's in the article, but I think that you get the idea on how this works. Sperm banks can cost a pretty penny and are often $700 for one vial of sperm. But sperm banks also screen for diseases, genetic history and physical characteristics, which strangers on the Internet often cannot. The only thing they can show you is photos of their kids on their iPhones. This way you know their kids look healthy. That is so ghetto, though. 

     I wonder how it works if the donor and the girl end of having a physical attraction to one another? Does the donor leave his "Clark Kent" life to be with this new girl? I mean this new method definitely has it's ups and downs, but I'd like to know what you think about this. Please feel free to leave comments. 

     

HE'S A FREE MAN

     By now, many of you have seen this video. If you haven't, you're either not on Facebook or on the Internet all that much because this video went as viral as viral can get. I will post the video again at the bottom of this blog. Some of you might think this guy is the piece of crap for hitting this girl, but most of you might think this girl deserved what she got. I'm with the latter bunch of you. 

     Anyway, prosecutors have dropped all charges against Jorge Pena, the 6-foot-6 part-time bouncer who was arrested for slapping a woman during a subway melee. Here's the part that gets confusing; the 25-year-old is willing to apologize for the slap heard around the world, even though he did it in self-defense. He said, "A man is never supposed to hit a girl." I agree with that statement, but when someone acts like an animal like this woman did in this instant, sometimes justice must be served. Pena was wearing an 8-ball jacket that caught the eye of his assailants and made him the victim of ridicule. He said, "She put me in a position that I had no choice. She tried to kill me." The subway brawl broke out on the F train at around 4:20 a.m. on Saturday night and video became an overnight sensation.  


     Still, Pena, who works all kinds of jobs to support his girlfriend and their 20-month-old son, says if he saw the woman he struck, he would say sorry for striking her. Screw that! Once you see this video, you will agree the bitch deserved it! Pena, who moved here from the Dominican Republic four years ago, had just finished a 12-hour shift when the woman and her friends attacked him on the F train. After hurling insults at him, she slapped him and hit hi, in the back of the head with her high-heeled shoes. Another woman jumped on him and beat him with her clutch purse. I'm sorry, but if you treat another human being like this, did these girls really think that someone was going to sit there and take it? Really? I mean this is downright bullying and I can't believe that he held off as long as he did, so I commend him for that. These girls are stupid if they thought that people would just sit there and take their abuse. 
 
     According to Pena's lawyers, he plans to sue the city over the wrongful arrest. He was released after prosecutors realized from the video that he was only acting in self-defense. The case was officially dismissed on Monday in Manhattan Criminal Court after the DA's office reviewed the tape, which shows Pena getting harassed by the women. For those of you who never saw the video, take a look and let me know if you think Pena should be apologizing to this woman: 

BUSTED!

     Here's every guy's worst nightmare...Catching the woman they love with another man. In this day and age of camera phones, the husband doesn't even have to be present to catch the wife with another man anymore. Virtually, anyone can. Especially, the best man at your wedding! That's what happened here. 

     A man cornered his best friend's cheating wife in a bar with another guy, and caught the betrayal on his camera phone. The 41-second clip showed the married woman cuddling with a man who claimed he was just the bartender. It's not really clear where or when the footage was filmed, bit it was originally posted on the micro-blogging site Reddit. The unidentified best friend explained that he went to the bar after his buddy began suspecting his wife of one year was having an affair. 

     The husband, allegedly, found out she was at this bar through social media or something and asked his best friend if he would go and check it out. Well, that was pretty dumb of her to post it on social media. Unless, of course she wanted to get caught. And why didn't the husband have the balls to go down and see it for himself with his best friend? They could have beaten the holy hell out of this bartender. Anyway, the best friend found exactly what they expected. 

     In the video, when the best friend asked the bride, only known as Nina, what's going on? She sheepishly replied, "You know exactly what's going on here." He then turned his attention to the guy, who tried to hide behind his cellphone and told the friend he was a bartender. "That's not your husband, right?" the best friend asked Nina. "You don't look like her husband to me." He then revealed that he would know since he was the best man at Nina's destination wedding in Thailand a year and a half ago before he left the scene of the crime. 

     The best friend immediately posted to Reddit and said he took the tape to his buddy. He wrote, "After finding out, the husband, took the car, took her ring, and told her she had until the end of the day to move out." Good for him! Did she deserve a second chance? The friend says no way because she's cheated on him years before they were even married. He wrote on Reddit, "She cheated on him once before with the same guy and apparently got gonorrhea of the throat from him. She confessed to her husband and asked for forgiveness and he forgave her." Well, he was a moron then, but he seemed to wisen up. Being caught on film is the worst way to go out and you can tell from the video, she knew that she was caught. Check it out for yourself: 

OOPS! DON'T DRINK THAT!

     A story is coming out of Colorado that seafood chain restaurant, Joe's Crab Shack is under investigation after children downed some booze-filled cocktails that were served to them by mistake. I say "so what?" I remember when I was about 7 or 8-years-old, I was a junior usher at my mom's cousin's wedding. The reception was at some Chinese restaurant in Chinatown in New York City. The waiters had set up this table full of glasses of what looked like fruit punch, only it wasn't just fruit punch. It was a rum punch. Now, these waiters saw me, who was clearly not an adult, drinking at least three full glasses of these rum punch drinks and they didn't even say a word. Needless to say, I got sick because I couldn't hold my liquor and ended up vomiting all over one of the bridesmaids dresses. Yes, it's funny now, but back then, my parents were not to happy. Today, I get an allergic reaction to drinking any alcohol, so if this mistake happened to me now, I may end up in the emergency room. Anyway, back to the Joe's Crab Shack story! 

     So, six cousins, between the ages of 2 and 8, reportedly gulped down a rum and vodka-spiked drink during a family visit to the seafood chain in Colorado Springs last Wednesday. It was only after some of them already finished their drinks that a waitress rushed back to say that the drinks were made with the wrong ingredients. The manager then attended the table, and revealed that the drink originally ordered from the kids' menu, the Shark Nibbles, had alcohol in it. A blundering bartender had apparently mistaken the order for the adult version of the drink, the Shark Bite, which is what the kids were served. The adult beverage contains Bacardi Limon Rum, Skyy Vodka, blue curacao, and what's described on the menu as "a dangerous dose of grenadine." I have to admit that this sounds like a pretty expensive drink. I hope the family didn't get charged for it. 

     Trista and Omar Montoya, who'd brought the children and some visiting relatives to what they described as their favorite eatery, said they were left "horrified" by the error. When one of the little girls began to feel ill, paramedics were called to the scene. Luckily, all of the children were checked over by medics and later sent home in good health. Joe's Crab Shack execs released a statement claiming that they were not investigating the incident and saying, "We do not condone underage service of any kind. Our guests can be rest assured our processes are continuously examined so incidents like this are avoided." Police in Colorado Springs are also investigating the situation.

     Come on, really? Did someone die? Did one of the kids become terminally ill? Was it done on purpose? No to all of thee above! It was obviously an accident. I'm sure the bartender feels horrible about it, but when you are in a fast-paced restaurant like Joe's there is bound to be mistakes. Unfortunately, this one included children. Did they leave in good health? Yes. Was there an investigation when I threw up all over a bridesmaids dress because these Chinese waiters allowed me to drink the rum punch? No! It was an accident and no one got hurt! Just give the family a free meal and go your separate ways! What needs to be investigated? I don't get it!

WINE ME A RIVER

     As a non-drinker who is about to marry someone who loves her wine, I love this story! I love this story because whenever we go out, I'm usually the one who orders her wine for her and when I do, I usually follow my order up with another question, which doesn't happen in this particular story. Here's what happened: 

     So, a Joe Lentini went out for dinner with a few friends at Bobby Flay Steak at the Borgata Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City last week. For those who have been to this restaurant, you know that it's one of the better steakhouses in AC next to Morton's and The Palm. Anyway, Lentini, who admits he's no wine expert, asked the waitress to recommend a wine to pair with his party's dinner. 

     Lentini said, "I asked the waitress if she could recommend something decent because I don't have experience with wine. She pointed to a bottle on the menu. I didn't have my glasses on. I asked how much and she said, 'Thirty-seven fifty." Lentini thinking that "thirty-seven fifty" was a good price for the wine, accepted the recommendation without even asking if she meant $37.50 and just assuming that was the price she quoted. Well, it turns out that the bottle of wine was a Screaming Eagle, Oakville, 2011, which cost $3,750. Lentini and his two fellow diners almost fell off of their chairs when their bill came. Luckily they were able to get the restaurant to agree to a discounted price of $2,200 for the wine, which is obviously still a ridiculous amount of money for a bottle of wine. 

     According to the New Jersey Star-Ledger, who reached out to the Borgata for their side of the story, this is what they had to say: "As the leading culinary destination in this region, we consistently serve many, if not more high-end wine and spirits without incident. In this isolated case, both the server and sommlier verified the bottle requested with the patron." Yeah, but when you tell someone "thirty-seven fifty", it's only natural to think $37.50 before you think $3,750. It was kind of presumptuous for the waitress to assumed that the patron can afford that kind of wine. I think they are both at fault. Lentini should have asked, "Do you mean $37.50?" I also think the waitress should have been more specific than saying "thirty-seven fifty" and told him it was a three thousand dollar bottle of wine. This way he could have ordered something a little bit more in his price range. 

     Unfortunately, it looks like Lentini will come home down on this trip to AC, but let this be a lesson to anyone ordering wine to always make sure of the price before you go ahead and order. Can you imagine that Lentini didn't have the money to pay for the wine? That would have been a whole other story. Or better yet, how about the fact that the wine cost twice the amount that the actual dinner cost? Now, that is just ridiculous! And they say that they're crying poverty in Atlantic City?

SHE RAPED HIM....WHAT?

     Since everyone seems to love these stories so much, here's another one that came out yesterday. Now, I need to preface this with the fact that I cannot stand teenage boys today! They have big mouths and don't know how to keep a secret. They bang hot teachers and they tell their parents. Now, they're banging hot former NFL cheerleaders and they tell the police that they were raped? Who the hell does that? If I was still 15 and someone who looked like this molested me, I would ask her to keep molesting and that it would be our little secret. I just want to take these "boys" because they're totally not "young men" material and beat the shit out of them while calling them little pussies. I mean, seriously, who gets to bang a hot chick like this and tells the police that they were raped? A little pussy! That's who! 

     Okay, now that I prefaced that with my tirade, here's what happened: A former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader was charged on Wednesday with having sex with a 15-year-old boy and it was reported that she first seduced him in high school fashion. They hooked up in a movie theater. This is 47-year-old Molly Shattuck, who was labeled the oldest cheerleader to make an NFL cheerleading squad when she made the Ravens' back in 2005. She was 38. She was arraigned in a Delaware court on Wednesday, two days after being indicted on two counts of third-degree rape and other charges. This isn't the first time that Shattuck has hit the national spotlight. In 2008, she had an appearance on the ABC reality show "Secret Millionaire" in which she gave $190,000 to people helping the poor. 

     Strangely enough, Shattuck, who was a Ravens cheerleader for two seasons, is the estranged wife of Mayo Shattuck, who is the chairman of a Chicago-based energy and utility firm called Exelon Corp. Their son attends the McDonogh School, a private institution in Owings Mills, Maryland, which is where the boy she is charged with seducing also attends. According to police, Shattuck made the boy's acquaintance when she started commenting on photos the teen was posting on Instagram. Texting one another soon followed and led to the two meeting in person. 

     According to the police reports, during their first intimate encounter back in May, they kissed and touched each other in an AMC movie theater. I wonder what they touched of each others. Anyway, after the movie they would take off in Shattuck's Cadillac Escalade and drove to a middle school parking lot, where they moved into the SUV's back seat to get it on. Did someone turn the heat on in this room? It's getting a little hot in here. 

     As their romance grew more heated, Shattuck would pick the boy up during lunch breaks from his summer chemistry class and they'd drive to a parking garage for a little more fun in the Escalade. Over Labor Day weekend, Shattuck rented a beach house in Bethany, Delaware and hosted her son and his friends, and her teenage lover, of course. She promised the boys' fathers there would be no alcohol, but according to the report, she provided three boys with alcohol and the underage drinking ensued all weekend. 

     In addition to the third-degree rape charges, a grand jury indicted her on three counts of providing alcohol to minors and four counts of unlawful sexual contact. In the state of Delaware, third-degree rape can only apply to multiple scenarios, including an adult having sexual contact with a minor. It's a Class B felony, punishable by up to 25 years in prison. This is so ridiculous because when I hear rape, I think about sex being forced on someone. Based on all of these reports, the boy does not sound like he was forced to have sex at all. To me, it sounds like the sex was consensual and there was no fighting her off. Especially, when they did it a bunch of times. Was it rape every single time? I doubt it. 

     In a letter to parents, the headmaster of McDonogh School said he notified authorities on September 24 after hearing about the relationship from a parent. Two days later, the boy told authorities about the affair. What an asshole! Shattuck was released on $84,000 bond. I'll tell you what. It sounds to me that Shattuck might have wanted to end the relationship and the little shit wasn't having any of it, so he told his parents about it, who reported it to the headmaster. That's the way I see it. Because this kid was not raped. Yes, he was underage, which might be the only crime here, but rape is a little harsh of a sentencing. This kid should consider himself lucky that he ever got to bang something so hot. My apologies for all the cursing in this blog. These stories about how dumb these boys are get me so annoyed! I would love to be a teenager again!

DON'T FEED THE HOMELESS.....IN FLORIDA ANYWAY

     What happened to us as human beings that now we can't feed the homeless? I mean, yes, some homeless people are drunks and drug addicts, but there some who were just displaced because they couldn't find a job and possibly had no family as a support system. If they can't afford food, why shouldn't they be able to accept food from kind-hearted citizens? 

     Of course, this can only happen in Florida as a senior citizen and couple of clergymen in Fort Lauderdale are facing up to two months in jail for feeding the homeless. That's right! Two months in jail for feeding the homeless. A group of volunteers with nonprofit charity Love Thy Neighbor in Broward County face up to $500 in fines and 60 days in jail because they were feeding the homeless this past Sunday. 

     World War II veteran Arnold Abbott, founder of the interfaith organization, and members of a local church were confronted by Fort Lauderdale's finest because they had reportedly been in violation of these new laws against food sharing, a law that was enacted on Halloween, a night reserved for sharing candy. So, as I was saying about how dumb of a state Florida is. I mean seriously! When my fiancee and I lived in New York City, we used to hand our doggy bags from restaurants to homeless people in hopes that it would at least put in a smile on their face for a few minutes, which is what I'm sure Abbott was trying to accomplish himself. 

     Trays of hot food intended to be distributed to the lines of homeless people on the street were instead thrown directly into the trash by officers, who ordered Abbott to "drop that plate right now." In total, four police cruisers and a half-dozen uniformed police officers arrived at the scene. Abbott and two clergymen were issued citations and are due to appear in court. The state of Florida is an absolute joke and an embarrassment to the rest of the United States. Who does this to upstanding citizens just trying to feed those less fortunate? If it wasn't for Universal Studios and Disney World, I would never step foot in Florida because this is an absolute joke!

      These new laws come on the heels of an announcement from the city in January about restrictions on camping, panhandling, food sharing and other "life sustaining" activities. Hey Florida, if you don't want these "life sustaining" activities to happen, then build a homeless community for people without homes to live. Keep them off the streets yourselves! When we were in Cleveland, we wanted to give our leftover food from dinner to a homeless person, but we couldn't even find one. Take a lesson from Cleveland, Florida! Anyway, not to be deterred, Abbott, who has been feeding the homeless for years, said, "I went through World War II. I fought in the Civil Rights movement. This won't stop us. All this did was move us to court earlier than we had planned."

     I say, "Good for you, Arnold Abbott!" I don't get how these lawmakers can pass a law like this. People need to eat to live. If they can't afford it, they need people like Abbott in their lives who takes his own money and feeds them out of his own pocket. These cops literally took the food that he bought and made for them and threw it in the trash. I see dollar signs getting thrown in the trash as well. If I was Abbott, I would sue the city for being a bunch of assholes. Besides, who arrests an old man and clergymen? I'll tell you who. The trash in Florida does!

TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD FOR FREE! JUST HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR NAME.....

     This story might be worthy of only my Canadian friends with a passport and an itch to explore the world. Here's the story; if you are from Canada and have a passport and would like to see the world, you, might be eligible for a free trip around the world. Here's the catch; your legal name has to be Elizabeth Gallagher. Hey, it's a free trip around the world!

     This is 28-year-old Jordan Axani. He's a real estate development manager with some extra plane tickets and he's willing to fund your airfare for a two-week trip around the world, provided that you are willing to leave a few days before Christmas. The Cabbagetown resident posted a notice on the microblogging site Reddit looking for a travel companion because his girlfriend, whom he planned to take the trip with since March, broke up with him. He only started searching for a woman with the same name as his ex began when he discovered what a hassle it can be to make changes to plane tickets. He wrote, "Anyone familiar with the archaic system that is modern air travel will know that a name change on a ticket is damn near impossible. Moreover, the flights were purchased during a massive blow-up on Priceline and were frankly so cheap and on so many different airlines that they're not worth the headache or money to cancel." 

     When Axani made calls to AirFrance, Alitalia and Jet Airways, on which the five flights were booked, he was told the only way for him to change the name on the tickets he had purchased was with a marriage, birth or death certificate. Priceline, which is where he purchased the tickets, told him that it was his responsibility to contact each individual airline to see if the name can be changed. None of the airlines were very helpful, but they do advertise that the tickets were "non-transferable."

     Axani is confident that he will find someone else with the name of Elizabeth Gallagher, who will be able to join him on this amazing trip. He also promised that he's totally normal and a great guy to share a laugh with over a beer. He's not looking for companionship, romance, drugs, a trade or to take selfies with you in from of the Christmas Market in Prague. He is just asking someone to enjoy this trip and that it brings someone happiness. He also said that the value of the flight package is around $6,000 that he's not looking to recoup. 

     Personally, I fell bad for this kid, but seriously, wouldn't it be better to just get a credit from these airlines for future flights rather than go with a stranger? My fiancee went through something like this where she was supposed to go to the Virgin Islands for New Years with her ex. They broke up, but when she called the airline, they gave her a credit on a future flight and she was able to have his name transferred to mine. So, it can be done. There is no way this poor guy is going to find an Elizabeth Gallagher in Canada. It's like finding a needle in a haystack!

DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR?

     Am I the only one who goes to bed at night thinking that some strange critter will crawl into my ear and call it home while I'm sleeping? Or even worse; what if it climbs into my mouth since apparently, I sleep with my mouth open? Okay, ew!

     Anyway, that's exactly what happened to British pop singer Katie Melua a few days ago.  Last Monday, after hearing a "rustling" sound in her ear for about a week, she decided to go to the doctor to have the "rustling" checked out. When they looked into her ear canal, this is what they found staring back in them in the micro-cam: 

      
     I know, right? Melua, who is 30, believes that the spider crawled into her ear canal when she used some old in-ear monitors to "block out sound on a flight." In-ear monitors are those ear-pieces that you always see singers wearing so that they can hear the full live band and themselves in their ear while they perform. It's almost like wearing headphones. So, the spider apparently, set up residence for a full seven days and other than the "occasional shuffling noises," the pop star told her fans that the spider was really no hassle at all. Yeah, but it's still disgusting! I do have a question, however! As I always do! What if the spider decided to bite her? Would she be able to climb walls and sling webs like Spiderman? Or is someone going to tell me that Spiderman isn't real either?

       According to Dr. Phil Koehler, an entomology professor at the University of Florida, ear canals actually serve as a pretty comfy home for critters. They probably enter the ear canals as harborage for heat or for moisture. I'm going to have to keep my ears dry and closed from now on when I go to sleep! According to a spokesperson in Melua's camp, the singer released the spider in her garden, where hopefully there's more to eat. Is she kidding? I would have killed that thing!