IS THAT AN EGGPLANT OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

     I know that usually I'm here to rant silly things and I haven't had the time to right a proper blog in a while, but today since it will be my last blog of the week because I will be working a music festival in upstate New York, I wanted to end this week on a silly note.

     Isn't it funny when vegetables grow into phallic shapes? Cantaloupes always look like boobs, cucumbers look like....well, you know. But it takes a lot of balls to attempt to sell a single eggplant for more than $100, unless of course it's shaped like a large penis. I mean I'm almost jealous of this eggplant in a twisted sort of way. 

     Anyway, a New Zealand man is currently selling the "erotic eggplant" on a bidding website, TradeMe.co.nz. The listing read: "For sale, a freshly picked phallic aubergine. Totally, organic, satisfaction guaranteed. All proceeds to charity." What the hell goes on in New Zealand?

     The current bis for the penile eggplant is a whopping $101 and the auction doesn't end until Saturday. The man, who asked not to be named, is selling the penis-shaped vegetable on behalf of his dad, who grew it at his home in Waikato. He told a newspaper, "He thought it was hilarious, and my wife and I found it pretty funny, too. It was a happy coincidence that the eggplant had that shape." 

     The seller plans to donate the money from the sale to the New Zealand Prostate Cancer Foundation, in honor of a family friend who recently died from the disease. The auction might bring a lot of money, but I guess we'll see. Of course, phallic fruits and vegetables are a fertile source of these weird news stories. 

     Last September, a San Diego woman learned the meaning of forbidden fruit when she got a shipment of produce that included a penis-shaped pear. In 2013, a woman in the U.K. grew a strawberry that looked amazingly like a penis and testicles. The 52-year-old woman was fascinated by the penis strawberry, but not necessarily impressed. She said, "It's funny how strawberry can grow like that, but I must admit, I did think it was a bit on the small side....not too much to boast about. It would be nice it if grew a bit bigger." Um, lady? It's a fucking deformed strawberry! Not really a penis! Hey, why don't you stroke the strawberry a couple strokes, maybe it will get bigger then......What the hell is wrong with people?