SOUTH JERSEY STRIKES AGAIN! THIS TIME IT'S PIZZA!

     Many of you have already read my post on Facebook and many, many of you have chimed in on last night's ordeal, but you have no idea what I went through last night at Bertucci's in Sicklerville, NJ, which, by the way, is the worst pizza on planet earth. I mean it can't get any worse than this. 

     So, let's go back six months, I had just gotten done working out in my kung fu class, so I stopped at Bertucci's in Sicklerville to pick up a Margherita pizza and some wings for my wife and me for dinner. When I got home, I was horrified by what the pie looked like when I opened the box. It was deformed in shape and had no basil. Growing up in North Jersey with some real Italian families, you don't fuck with our pizza! I was so annoyed, I wrote to Bertucci's corporate and did not even receive a response. I let it go and my wife and I decided to ban Bertucci's from our list of "go-to" places, because there was a time when their pizzas were, what we thought was the best we could get in South Jersey. 

     Now, mind you, many restaurants down this way close around 9:30-10:00, so the pickings are slim when it comes to late night dining. Last month, on my way back from Kung Fu again, I decided to lift the ban and give Bertucci's another shot. This time, my experience with them was a pleasant one and the girl at the counter, even showed me the pizza before I left with it. I showed her a photo of the one I got last time and even she was mortified. I said to my wife, "Okay, maybe they got their shit back together." 

     So, now, last night, on my way home from Kung Fu again, and I was running late, so I called Bertucci's to place my order for a large Margherita pizza, a Caesar salad, and Tuscan wings. It sounded like the same girl as last time, so I figured we were in good shape. I arrive at the restaurant and there was no one at the counter. In fact, it looked like they were cleaning up the kitchen. I waited there literally for 10 minutes. I even saw my pie sitting there in the box with the box open. WHAT? Who does that? I stuck my head in by the bar and it took a patron to say, "You have someone waiting over there." The bartender comes over and asks if I'm ordering or picking up. I told him that I already ordered and he asked what I would like? Um, what? 

     Once he realized I was there to pick up, he went to get me a waiter to check me out. The waiter got my order together, but at first, was reluctant to show me the pie. I nicely asked if I can see it and showed him a picture of what I got the last time. He looked at me and said, "Oh we wouldn't give you a pizza like that" and then opened up the box to show me another deformed Margherita pizza with no basil on it. I quickly said, "Are you kidding me?" It's not even round. He responded, "Not all of our pizzas are perfectly round." I said, "But this is not even close! And where's the basil?" He told me, "We put the basil on the side so that it won't wilt on the pizza." Um, what? For those who know me, do I really look like a moron? Don't answer that! It was rhetorical! The waiter said to me that he was going to get his manager and she would tell me the same exact thing. 

     A guy named Dave was standing behind me and asked me if I ordered yet. I told him that I did and proceeded to show him my pizza. Dave was mortified because he too ordered a Margherita pizza. I can see the look in his face. It was look of "Uh-oh! What did I just get myself into." Poor guy! I wanted to say, "Run and save yourself!" 

     The manager finally came out after a 5-minute wait. I showed her the pie and she looked a little shocked that I was making a big deal about it. I told her, "If you came into my pizza shop and I tried to send you home with this, would you take it?" She understood and said, "I can make you a new one." This was the trick question of the night. Do you allow these cooks who just cleaned their kitchen and whose pizza you just insulted to make you another pie without spitting in it or putting something gross in the pie? I didn't trust it and I even told her that, but she assured me that she doesn't run a place like that. I thought to myself, "But you run a place that makes deformed looking pizzas?" I took my chances and let he make me another pizza. 

     As I waited, they brought Dave his pie and he, too, asked to see his pie. They opened the box and his was folded a quarter of the way and deformed also! I was starting to think that these cooks seriously never saw what a pizza looked like before. Dave reluctantly paid for his $22 pie, but then the waiter noticed there was no basil on the side and said he would go and get it. Dave turned to me and asked, "What do you think? Should I get my money back? I just paid for a $22 pie that looked like this." I told him that I would. That is messed up! The problem was we were both hungry and this point didn't care, but come on, Bertucci's! Show that you care a little!

     Dave asked for his money back and out came the manager again, but this time she even said, "What happened? Another deformed pizza?" So, now she even knows they're deformed. She told him the pizza was too big to fit in the box, so sometimes they have to fold it in. Um, what? Am I the only one who hasn't been to a pizza place that folds their pizza to fit it in a box? When Dave asked for his money back again, she said that she would make him another pizza. He said he didn't trust her cooks and she assured him too that nothing would happen because their kitchen was out in the open. Here's the problem....No one was in the restaurant but us! Dave reluctantly agreed and we both sat their an waited as we made fun of Bertucci's. 

     My new pizza finally came....deformed again! At this point, I didn't care! I just wanted to go home. So, I just said it was fine. I grabbed my food and was going to pay, but the manager said, "No way! It's on us!" Did that mean, "Enjoy your loogie Marghertia Pizza?" Or was she just really embarrassed? Either way, we got a free dinner. Dave texted me later and he got some free sodas. But this will be the last time we order from that shit-hole. What aggravated me was the fact that they were trying to tell me that all pizzas were not round, they didn't want the basil to wilt, and that they couldn't even get a Margherita Pizza right! Who messes that up? My mother-in-law and brother-in-law make a way better pizza on Easter than these clowns. It's the mentality down here. These morons think they can get one over on everyone down here. You can't mess with someone who knows food! Bertucci's R.I.P.