THAT MONKEY HAS A LOT OF BALLS!

This morning, I was looking for something entertaining to share with you guys, but really couldn't find anything that made me chuckle until my fiancée asked me if I heard about the monkeys in China? I had to see what this was all about! So, apparently, there was a vicious monkey attack at a wildlife park in Guiyang, China, where a monkey maimed an 8-month-old boy and began eating his testicles! WHAT? As if having a boy child in China wasn't difficult enough, we have monkeys literally stealing their manhood. For those of you who didn't understand that; in China, to control the ever-growing population, there is a law of one child per family, and it preferably should be a boy to carry out the family names.

Anyway, the boy's mother was changing his dirty diaper at Guiyang Qianling Wildlife Park, where monkeys roam free. The animal reportedly attacked the boy, tearing his testicles right off his body and then dropping them. That's when a man nearby recovered the testicles, but the monkey then snatched it from the man's hand before scampering away and eating the body part. I'm about to throw up in my mouth. That is absolutely disgusting! First of all, why would you change your baby in the middle of a wildlife park where animals roamed freely? That is the dumbest thing I ever heard. Don't they have changing stations in China? Or do you just change the babies wherever you are? Then again, when I was in China, I noticed a baby wearing no diaper, but there was a hole in his pants on the front to pee and a hole in the back to poop. I guess, even if this baby had that on, the monkey still would have had access to the baby's balls. 

There are also conflicting stories about the attack. There are reports that both of the boy’s testicles were torn off, but that only one was eaten by the monkey. How about who the hell cares? That's still painful as hell! The boy has since been hospitalized and though disfiguring, they say that his injuries are not believed to be life-threatening. I guess he just has to live the life of a eunuch. The poor kid!

This story comes off the heels of a similar story from two months ago when an Arkansas man, who was paralyzed from the waist down, woke up to a 'burning pain' in his midsection, but was horrified to discover that a stray dog he had taken in had eaten one of his testicles while he slept. Not for nothing, but he's paralyzed from the waist down, right? What did he need his testicles for anyway? And what's this new thing with animals eating human testicles? They can't taste that good! Oh my God! I think I really am going to throw up again.....