NEW WEDDING FAD

     With my upcoming December wedding date quickly approaching, I find myself in wedding planning hell with my beautiful fiancee. Then, I find this story and it makes all the pains of wedding planning hell go away. So, apparently, there is a new wedding trend that totally blows lifting the veil out of the water. The entire bridal party has allegedly started to lift their dresses and sticking their rumps out for a fun photo op with the photographer. It's almost like the duckface photo ops only with asses. I don't know about you, but this sounds like an awesome new trend to me! The only bad thing about our wedding party is that my sister is in the bridal party and that's something I may not want to see, but all of the other girls, let's see it! 

     There are at least a handful of photos circulating the Internet where the bridesmaids and the bride-to-be are all showing their asses. Some of the photos are so daring that they had to be blacked out. I have to say again that I am a bit intrigued by this new trend. There's no word yet whether this is an actual trend or just a few photos online that leaked out, but they are apparently calling it "Photo-Bummed."

     I have to tell you that this is pretty hilarious and with the sense of humor that me and my fiancee have, I can totally see this happening at our wedding. Then again, there are some pretty conservative people in our wedding party, so it may not happen, but can you imagine looking through someone's wedding album and then coming across a photo like this? It's just pure genius! 

TOTAL DOUCHEBAG RIGHT HERE!

     Some guys have strange ways of acting when their girlfriends turn them down for sex. I've heard of men beating their women, stabbing them and even killing them if they were refused sex. Hey guys! There are ways to avoid it! Buy that machine that I blogged about yesterday! Anyway, this douchebag in this picture, whose name I won't use other than "douchebag," from Missouri was spurned by his ex and took his frustration out on her small dog tossing the pup out of a third-floor window. Like I said..."douchebag!"

     Douchebag is being accused of throwing an 8-month-old puppy named Oliver to his death after its owner, Gabriel Ervie, rejected his sexual advances earlier that evening. According to police, Douchebag left a threatening message on Ervie's phone before he broke into her apartment. He said, "I'm about to f**k your life up forever!" Ervie and her family are obviously devastated by the loss and her mother Debbie said, "It hurts. I just want to hold him one more time and tell him it wasn't his fault." The elder Ervie said that her daughter was too distraught to comment about anything, but she's grateful that Gabriel wasn't home when Douchebag broke into her house late Saturday night. 

     The 23-year-old Douchebag allegedly kicked down the door of Ervie's apartment, where a neighbor saw him grab her maltipoo puppy and throw the dog over his head and out a hallway window. Douchebag then fled the scene. Springfield police fount the puppy lying lifeless on the walkway, 46 feet away from Ervie's apartment complex. Police later found and arrested Douchebag on the nearby Missouri State University campus. He's facing burglary and animal theft charges. He posted $15,000 bail and was released from jail this past Tuesday. WHAT? Dude! He took a life! $15,000 bail? That's all? Are you kidding me? This guy got away with murder. You know what they say about people who harm animals. They're the future serial killers of America. Look at this guy's face! He's a sicko and our judicial system decided to put him back on the street? Why? Just because your girl wouldn't have sex with you? Oh boo hoo! Get a box of Kleenex and a jar of Vaseline. Don't take it out on a poor defenseless puppy, you pussy! Douchebag here needs a beating and though, I don't condone violence on any level, I hope this guy gets the beating of a lifetime from an animal rights activist or maybe even thrown out of a third-floor window.

WHAT THE....AN AUTOMATIC SPERM EXTRACTOR?

     My friend Chuck sent this story to me on Facebook last night and I'm totally obsessed with it. All I could think was "Only in China can we see this!" Even though, I was really thinking, "How do I get one of these for my house for when my fiancee is not in the mood or has a headache? Wait till you read what I have here for you today. 

     So, a Chinese hospital in Nanjing, a capital of Jiangsu Province, has introduced a new machine that makes sperm donation even easier. They've created an automatic sperm extractor. That's right! Guys, we might never need to use our hands again! The Chinese have created a machine that will do it for you. Have they gone to far? Hell no!

     The effortless machine, which has been around for a few years now, features a massage pipe that can be adjusted to the height of the user. Since this was in China, I'm sure all of the machines were short and the massage pipes were small tubing. Something they will have to fix if they bring this machine to America. It's okay! I can say it since I'm of Chinese decent. Anyway, all the gentleman has to do is plug in the frequency, amplitude and temperature, then plug himself into the massage piping and they're off to the races. The machine is also fitted with a small screen for those feeling a little uninspired and can use a little coaxing. In other words; yes, you can watch porn while this machine is stroking your little ego! I have to say; whoever invented this was pure genius! 

     According to the director of the urology department of the hospital, the machine was designed to help individuals that are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way with a jar of Vaseline, a few tissues and good ol' Mary and her five sisters. The director said, "We're not entirely convinced that standing in a room shared by many other people and being milked like a cow is going to help, but their efforts are commendable." Screw that! First of all, I would get this machine for private use for those lonely nights. I would not use this in a sperm bank. Second, just wow! Where has this machine been all my life? I might have to ask my fiancee for this as a wedding gift, though, I doubt that will go over too well. But it's not cheating because it's a machine, right?

     Take a look at this video. It will all make sense and you GUYS will be asking me where to get one: 

BE CAREFUL OF THOSE TWO-WAY ROADWAYS

     There were a few good stories to write about today, but for some reason this one really struck a chord with me. Maybe it's because I'm getting married in December and my fiancee wants to go on this elaborate trip for her bachelorette party or is it because down here in South Jersey, these dangerous roads are filled with two-lane roadways? It could be a combination of both. I do have to tell you that, as a future groom, this is one of the saddest stories I've ever read and I really felt for the groom and all families involved. 

    So, here's what happened; a Missouri woman was killed in a car crash last Friday on the way to her own bachelorette party. In fact, this photo is that last selfie that best friends, Collette Moreno and Ashley Theobald, took before Moreno was killed in the crash, which consisted of Theobald making a bad move causing them to collide head first with an oncoming car on the crest of a hill. Friends and family are still trying to come to terms with the tragic and unexpected loss. 

     Moreno and Theobald, both 26, were in high spirits on Friday afternoon as they traveled to the Lake of the Ozarks on Missouri Highway 5. They were listening to Taylor Swift in anticipation of Moreno's fun-filled bachelorette weekend. Theobald, who was driving a 2013 Chevy Malibu, even posted on Facebook about getting out of work early for the fun weekend ahead. About eight minutes before the crash, Moreno took this last, smiling selfie with her bestie since seventh grade. Theobald, who survived the crash, told police that they got stuck behind a truck that was emitting these fumes. Moreno, who suffered from asthma, was apparently bothered by the fumes and started coughing, so Theobald decided to try to pass the truck in the passing lane of the two-way roadway. Theobald thought the coast was clear and didn't realize they were coming onto a hill. Just as she was trying to pass, a 1999 Dodge Ram was driving right at her. Both cars tried to swerve away, but the Ram struck the Malibu's passenger side. Theobald and the driver of the Ram got away with minor injuries, but Moreno wasn't as lucky. She was rushed to University Hospital in Columbia, where she succumbed to her injuries and was pronounced dead. According to Theobald, both women were wearing their seatbelts. Theobald said, "I was talking to her. She couldn't talk back, but she was nodding at me. I didn't know it was as bad as it was because she wasn't physically super beaten-up." Um, that's because they're called internal injuries, you dummy! Theobald faces traffic charges and imprudent driving, but no criminal charges. What? How? She killed someone! Whether it was intentional or not, she was driving the vehicle that killed a bride-to-be, a daughter, a cousin, a sister and worst of all a mother. I think Theobald deserves some sort of punishment for taking a life.

     So is anyone in tears yet? No? Maybe this will help. Moreno was set to tie the knot with her fiancee, 28-year-old Jesse Arcobasso, on July 26 during a dream destination wedding in Jamaica. Acrobasso proposed to Moreno about a year ago through a caricature artist. As I just said, she also leaves behind a 5-year-old son, Brayden. A fundraising site has been set up to help pay for the future that Moreno wanted for her son, who Arcobasso says "doesn't quite understand everything yet." This is so sad. I know if this was me, I would be out for blood. How do they say it? Sangre Por Sangre? I know some of you would say it wasn't her fault, but Theobald was totally  to blame. Who goes into the passing lane without looking first? That was just dumb! If I was driving, I would have just pulled over until that truck pulled away or I would have closed the windows and used the circulation of the air inside the car. Sad to say, but this is just another example of the fact that girls should just not be allowed to drive. I'm sure I'll catch a a lot of flack for that quote, but it's true! And by the way, this is also sad because Moreno was really hot! So, I really feel for her fiancee. I would be pissed!

PUT DOWN THE E-CIG AND TRY AN E-JOINT!

     Yesterday, I received a few messages about the kid that was stuck in a vagina sculpture, which I found utterly hilarious and even joked that the kid can be named "The Rock." That story was a top candidate for this morning, but then I thought that most of you might have seen that story already. Then there was the story about the guy who got five years taken off of his prison sentence because he agreed to get a vasectomy. Trust me, he needed it since he fathered seven kids with six different mothers, but I'm not sure he deserved to have his sentence short for a vasectomy. But then I saw this story and my eyes lit up like the tip of this e-cig, or shall I say e-joint. Most of you who know me, know that I'm a huge advocate for the legalization of marijuana...Not that I've ever inhaled before. Just a huge supporter. Wink, wink! So, to me, seeing this story was huge! Only it's not what you think.

     Anyway, it turns out; a Dutch manufacturer has made the world's first electronic joint that lets users puff with ease. The company, E-Joint B.V., claims the e-Joint is completely harmless and contains no dangerous substances like nicotine, tobacco or even THC, which is the active chemical ingredient that makes marijuana so much fun....I mean that makes marijuana a dangerous drug. E-Joint CEO, Menno Contant says, "Holland is well-known in the world for its tolerant and liberal attitude towards soft drugs. The introduction of this new product clearly makes a statement." According to Contant, the e-Joint is 100 percent legal and vaporizes vegetable glycerine, propylene glycol and one of six biological flavors like watermelon, passion fruit, green apple and something called "sweet energy." I wonder if these ingredients also create the sweet smell of marijuana....I mean that horrible smell of marijuana. Also, if he wanted to stay true to the whole marijuana idea, that one flavor should not be "sweet energy" because you never become energetic after smoking a real joint.....Well, that's what my friend told me. 

     Contant claims that more than 10,000 of the eight-euro joints are sold every day across Europe. For soccer fans, there is also a disposable World Cup-themed e-Joint. Way to stay on top of pop culture! The sleek white e-Joints are not yet available for sale in the U.S., but they are available throughout the Netherlands and France, naturally. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet because in e-Cigs, there is a degree of nicotine in those products, right? Why wouldn't you put a little THC into this product? Would that make this illegal to use then? What if I had a card for it? Then can you put THC in it? Just wondering because this e-Joint really is a pretty product. Don't you think? They should get Cheech and Chong as their spokesperson if they really want to see sales boost!

NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL A STUDENT BODY!

     I'm really surprised that we don't see more of this happening. Then again, maybe it happens more than we know. I'm talking about what 21-year-old Katerina Christodoulou did recently. It turns out; she took out a $17,000 loan for school, but ended up spending the loan money on plastic surgery. Hey, who am I to judge? She looks fantastic! 

     English Literature graduate, Christodoulou maxed her school loan out on plastic surgery for her thighs, her butt, her hips and knees, while she had an ex-boyfriend buy her some new boobs. And now for good measure, the hot Brit is now considering a nose job. It doesn't stop there. She also has decided to pursue a career as a model. I don't think she'll have a problem in that department. The only problem is that normally when someone gets that much plastic surgery, they begin to look a little plastic. I have to admit that Christodoulou is not looking that plastic just yet. She actually looks really good. Why stop at being a model? Let us all see what schooling paid for and become an adult movie star? 

     Christodoulou admits that her original plan with her school loan was to put a deposit down on a house, but then decided why not use the money to make herself happy now. She also said, "I know some people might be surprised to hear that I spent my student loan on my body, but it was worth it for how I feel now." I don't know about you guys, but I'd like feel how she feels now! And what she did certainly makes my eyes happy for now! 

     Under British higher education laws, students take a load from the government, then pay it back within 25 years once they start earning more than $28,000 a year. If students are unable to pay back the loan after 25 years, the bill passes to the taxpayer. Well, that's not so fair! That's almost as bad as Obamacare. Regardless, has anyone else seen this girl's body? She'll get some sort of modeling contract sooner than later, whether it's an adult modeling contract or just a general one; she will get one. And when she does, she will be able to pay that school loan in one shot. It won't take 25 years for her to pay that loan back. That's unless she gets really selfish and uses her modeling pay for more plastic surgery, but if I was her, which I am not (because I'd be feeling myself up!), I would pay that loan back first! At any rate, let's just enjoy this student body as we see it, shall we?

DO YOU MISS YOUR EX THAT MUCH?

     Now, I've never used Match.com and with my upcoming nuptials, I doubt that I will ever need a site like that. I will, however, have to admit that Match.com is one of the most popular dating sites on the Internet with Ashley Madison coming in at a close second. Yes, that's the site that urges you to have an extramarital affair. Anyway, the reason that I bring Match.com up in today's blog is because I just read a story saying that the popular dating site is now offering an option that will help find you a date that looks just like your ex. Why would anyone want to do that?

     According to the story, soon certain Match.com members will be given the option of upgrading their account to include Three Day Rule's matchmaking service, which can help you find a a doppelganger of your former beau. The L.A. based company has clients send in photos of their exes and uses facial recognition technology to find lookalikes, but of course, everything comes with a price. A six-month Three Day Rule package costs around $5,000. Again, I ask why would anyone want to date their ex? I mean there was a break-up for a reason, right? Unless, you were the one who was dumped before you were ready to be dumped, but then again, if you were dumped, why would you still want to be with that person? I still don't understand the concept. 

    The hefty $5,000 price tag also includes in-person coaching from a professional matchmaker who may even go on screening dates with potential matches to make sure they are the real deal. Three Day Rule uses the technology to identify a person's type based on facial structure. Matches are then selected with appearance, personality, and interests in mind. One source says that Match.com users in L.A., San Francisco, New York and Chicago can join Three Day Rule's database for free and be paired with the service's clients, but those want a matchmaker to find them a compatible man or woman who also resembles their ex needs to pay for a membership. If you ask me, which I'm sure that your not, it's not worth it! Exes are exes for a reason. Why would you ever want to go back and date them again? In hopes of finding a better version of them? Screw that! Move on and find someone who you are more compatible with. Finding someone who looks like an ex just equals more trouble for you and at the end of the day, you spent $5,000 to find them. Big thumbs down on this one!

BJ ON THE BUS

     You have to hate when you're caught doing something wrong on surveillance video. There's no way of denying it! That's what happened to a bus driver of 14-years in New Mexico. He was recently fired after surveillance video caught him engaged in a sex act with a woman while he was supposed to be working. 

     The surveillance video actually shows driver Alex Gonzales sitting in a passenger seat on his bus at 9:30 a.m. on May 6 and a woman boarding the bus, but she never paid bus fare. On the video, he says to her, "You know what time it is!" With no one else on the bus, the woman moved next to Gonzales and performed oral sex on him while the bus was parked in an empty "layover" station. After about a minute or two, Gonzales got up saying, "Man, if I could sell that I could make a million dollars." What the hell did that mean? He wants to sell BJs? Or did he mean he wanted to sell this unidentified woman giving BJs? That would make him a pimp and that's still illegal. This guy is an absolute moron! Anyway, Gonzales continued doing his job and finished his route, but he wasn't in the clear just yet. 

     It turns out; a customer pushing a baby stroller saw what happened before he boarded the bus and filed a complain with the transit authority. This lead city officials to review the security video which confirmed the allegation of misconduct. ABQ Ride Spokesman Rick De Reyes said Gonzales' actions constituted a serious violation of the rules. He said, "I was raised to be a gentleman. And I'm hoping I'm keeping that standard. For me to describe what's on this video makes me very uncomfortable." The transit agency fired Gonzales on June 13 after 14 years of service.

     Officials are saying this is the first time something of this nature happened on one of the city buses and they hot it is the last. Who the hell do they think they're kidding? It's a city bus! This is the first time that something of this nature happened on a city bus to their knowledge is what they meant. If that guy didn't file a complaint with the transit authority, they never would have investigated. How many sexual encounters with bus drivers do you think have never been reported, especially when someone doesn't have enough money to pay their fare. The least Gonzales could have done was pick a hotter girl to get caught with....DAMN!

     Take a look at the video right here: 

EXPLODING BOOBS

     So, what straight man does not like to look at nicely shaped, round, big, fake boobs? Believe it or not, I have a few friends who prefer the small boobs, but in general men like the big fake ones. Well, what if those fake boobs you were enjoying just exploded internally on a woman? Pretty gross, right? Not so nice to look at anymore, huh? 

     That's what happened to Kim Brockhurst from Wales. Brockhurst claims that she didn't even want the double D-sized breasts. Her original plan was to go up two cup sizes, but she "ended up with these big heavy breasts," which were much bigger than she'd asked for. That's not the only mistake her surgeon made, however. Nine years later, her girls (her boobs) just didn't look right. She said, "My breasts slowly went out of shape - it was a terrible time." Here's where things get a little screwy because nothing could have prepared her for what happened next. Brockhurst's nearly $7,000 implants burst inside her body, leaking industrial-strength silicon into her. 51-year-old, Brockhurst, a fitness instructor, had to have reconstructive surgery to fix the faulty Poly Implant Prosthese, or PIP, implants, which medically were not authorized. 

     PIP went into liquidation in 2010 after all of its products were recalled. The company had been using silicone intended for mattresses. About 400,000 women worldwide were affected by the defective implants. Brockhurst couldn't afford the reconstructive surgery because the British medical system wouldn't cover all of it. So, a reality show called "Botched Up Bodies" fronted the bill and filmed her story. She said in one of the clips, "It was awful knowing I couldn't afford that surgery but all the whole I had silicone leaking into my body. I still don't know where it's gone and that's a real worry." 


     During the the surgery, the silicone came out "like milk." She said that it was disgusting to watch, but she's very happy to have the implants out of her. Her post-reconstructive surgery breasts are now 34D, which are still a very nice size and I would totally take a glance if I saw them. If I'm not mistaken, something like this happened to former WWE wrestler Joanie Lauer aka Chyna. I remember reading that one of her implants burst during a match and she had to be rushed to a hospital for surgery. I wonder if this is a common thing for women with implants? I mean, after all, it is pretty gross to have some foreign fluids in your body that aren't supposed to be there. It's a pretty big risk to get those implants, but oh so nice to look at.

HE'S STRONG TO THE FINISH, CAUSE HE EATS NO SPINACH!

     Yes, it's been a full week since my last post. My apologies to those of you who actually really do read this with your morning coffee. I was away at a conference last week and there was no time to write, but I'm back with one of the most ridiculous stories that I've read in a while. Okay, who am I kidding? Every story that I write about is absolutely ridiculous. Let's just say that this one is right up there. 

     I'm sure that we all remember Popeye, the sailor man, right? One of Popeye's most notable traits was his bulging forearms, which he attained from rowing a boat for so many years out at sea. His other was his dislike of spinach, though it gave him strength. Well, meet Matthias "Hellboy" Schlitte. He's known as a German 'Popeye' because he was born with one gigantic bicep and forearm and now he is excelling in his dream job as a professional arm wrestler. And he's doing it all without the use of spinach! 

     Schlitte has not only taked the Vice World championship crown, but he is now cashing in on his fame by starring in TV commercials around the world. The 27-year-old strong-arm, from the tiny village of Haldensleben in Germany, first realized that he had abnormal strength in his right arm when he was only 3. He said that his family had this oven that needed coals to cook with and he would pick up rather large buckets of coal and carry it around for his mother, which was probably very uncommon for a child that was 3. Blessed with this bulging 18-inch bicep, it wasn't until he was 16 that he discovered he can use his arm to make a living. He would enter an arm wrestling competition in a local bar, where he said he was "laughed at" when he walked into the venue. He added that no one was laughing after he beat all the men in the bar. Those laughs changed to respect and the rest became history. 

     Since that fateful night in the bar, Schlitte won eight German national championships, 14 international tournaments and became the youngest ever victor of the Sylvester Stallone-inspired "Over The Top" event. He's also even beaten a robot specially designed for arm wrestling.  When he was asked whether he would prefer to have been with normal arms, he responded with the fact that he wouldn't change a single thing about his life. Schlitte says, "I have spent 10 years traveling around the world doing what I love. Everyone has a challenge in life. I'm not a religious guy or anything, but this was a gift from a higher power and this was my calling in life." I really have nothing to say about this, but wow! I guess "He am, what he am!" At first, I thought the picture was photoshopped, but if you Google this guy's name, there is actual YouTube video footage of him. I have to be honest; if I ever got into a fist fight with Schlitte, I might try to attack his left side before he can hit me with that sledgehammer because that does look like it can hurt. His left hook? Not so much! 

BATTER UP!

     I received this story yesterday from my friend, Scott, right after I wrote yesterday's blog about girth. This story was so good that I figured I'd save it for today. So, most of you obviously know my fascination with teachers and students having sex, right? Well, this is sort of a strange twist to my fascination. 

     It turns out; a father from Maryland decided to take matters into his own hands last week after discovering an inappropriate and potential sexual relationship between a 42-year-old teacher and the man's 15-year-old daughter, by beating the teacher with a baseball bat. THAT...IS...AWESOME! Now, just to clear things up a little bit; there was no sexual intercourse that took place...yet, but it according to the text messages, they may have been heading down that road. 

     The unnamed Maryland parents came across a string of several dozen inappropriate texts between their teenage daughter and her, apprently, horny teacher. When the teacher showed up on the family's front porch wanting to talk to the girl, the father came out swinging with a bat that I'm sure he got at Bat Day at Camden Yards. Anyway, what kind of balls do you have to have to show up at the girl's house? Even if you weren't trying to court her? Don't teacher's just make phone calls to the house? This guy definitely had a screw loose. 

     The parents are said to have confronted their daughter at around 3 a.m. Thursday morning when they came across the texts, which were described by the police as "an emotional relationship that seemed inappropriate for a teacher and student." Wait a minute! What the hell were the parents doing confronting the girl at 3 in the morning? Don't people sleep? Confront her when she wakes up! That's what my parents used to do. No, let's pick a fight with our daughter at 3 a.m. I think everyone is nuts in this story! Anyway, at around 9:45 a.m., the teacher, allegedly, showed up at the family's door without permission "looking to talk" to the teenager. That's when the father demanded that he leave the premises. When he refused, the father proceeded to hit him with a baseball bat a number of times. 

     According to the police report, the sleazy and horn-ball teacher sustained only minor injuires, which means the father didn't hit hard enough, and did not press charges, which means...GUILTY! The family has been advised to file a restraining order and if the teacher returned to the home, he will be arrested. I guess after seeing this story, I've come to the realization that only the female teacher and young male student stories are the ones that really fascinate me. When it's the other way around, the story isn't as appealing. The male teacher with the female student seems a tad bit more creepy and almost predator-ish, which leads me to the fact that the father reacted in a way that I may have. As for the young boys, banging their teachers; come on! Take one for the team and keep your mouths shut and tell your boys the story, not your parents you morons!

SIZE DOES MATTER....KIND OF

     Not that I've ever had this problem, but apparently to my brethren out there, to answer the age old question about size mattering; I guess it really really does...somewhat. You see, according to a new study, when it comes to one night stands, ladies are looking for girth, and not length.

     Researchers recently asked 41 women to examine 3D-printed penises of varying sizes and to then select the model they would prefer for a one-time partner. They were also told to choose the model they would prefer for a long-term lover. The blue models cam in 33 different sizes and ranger from 4 inches long and 2.5 inches in circumference to 8.5 inches long and 7 inches in circumference. For the love of God! Who the hell is built like that? The models that the participants chose for one night stands had larger girths (circumferences) than those picked for long-term relationships. Length did not seem to make a difference at all in this study. The women on an average preferred 6.5 inch penises for both types of relationships. Looks like I'm above average. That's good to know! 

     The study, which was presented at a meeting of the Association for Pyshological Science, also found that women tent to overestimate the size of 3D-printed penises that they had just looked at. Do they really conduct these experiments all over? I mean does that age old question really matter? I didn't really want to blog about this, but I thought that it was kind of funny that sometimes men are worries about their size, when now according to these studies, women really want thickness than size. So, a guy could be like 3.5 inches in length, but as long as he's like 5 to 6 inches in thickness, he's good to go when it comes to a one night stand. I am sitting here shaking my head as I type this, but did you really want to hear about Tracy Morgan or The Tony Awards and another baby smoking cigarettes in China or a even another teacher having sex with her students? I guess talking about penis sizes just never gets old.  

COOLEST BEDROOM EVER!

     Now, I love my fiancee more than anything in the world and there is absolutely nothing that I would give up for her. That's how I know I'm in love. This guy in the picture not so much. He let his fiancee leave so he can build his own old-school arcade in his apartment bedroom. Personally, if she couldn't compromise and like what he liked, then she probably wasn't for him anyway. Then again, if he was willing to let her go that easily so he can have what he wanted, he probably wasn't in love with her anyway. I have to admit, though; This room is cool as hell, but might be better fit as just a "man cave!" 

     This is Chris Kooluris from Murray Hill, New York. He transformed the bedroom of his Murray Hill apartment into an old-school arcade, then watched his fiancee walk out of his life. Now, the only scoring he's doing is on his Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, and Tron machines. Kooluris did say that he learned a valuable lesson in all this every time he fiddles with that joystick, however. He says, "If you're going through relationship issues, you need to invest time in the relationship and work on it. Do not work on your arcade more than your relationship." He might be right, but there are complicated emotions at work when 37-year-old man sells his bed and furniture and spends $26,000 to build an arcade. 

     The story began, as many complicated emotions do, with love. Koorluris moved in with his fiancee to her place in Brooklyn and put his own apartment on the market, but three things happened that would change Kooluris' life forever. First, the apartment didn't sell. Second, he began feeling claustraphobic living in his fiancee's apartment with all HER stuff. That's a huge red flag! Third, he happened to stumble upon a sci-fi novel called Ready Player One, which was about the 1980s video game culture. He says, "The boook just blew me away. It awakened something in me and I started thinking that I can't believe I'm bit surrounded by all these things that I grew up loving." So, he decided to transform his old living quarters into his own personal Candy Land. 

     Kooluris became a real-life Pac-Man himself, gobbling up everything he could about the arcade culture. He spent hours online with other obsessive gamers. He custom-built a four-player panel board that houses thousands of games from Street Fighter II to Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. He invested thousands of dollars in first edition Transformers action figures and he installed a high-score board. Somewhere in there is when his fiancee finally said, "Game Over!" Here's the cool part of the story, though. Chris is not the loser in this game. He's not a blubbery, unemployed fanboy, who lacks in social skills or hygiene. He's actually fit and outgoing. He's also a senior VP at a global public relations firm. In fact, he helped engineer the release of Guns 'N' Roses 2008 release Chinese Democracy through a Dr. Pepper promotion. He just happens to love his video games. 

     Moving back into his apartment without a bed was not ideal, so he bought a foam topper for his pullout futon, along with a set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bed sheets and a matching blanket. Now, he invites friends over for weekly game nights. Needless to say, they think his home arcade is the greatest place ever! I would too! Kooluris' fiancee may be out of the picture, but he can't forget the woman who inspired his apartmentcade. He says, "Now that my fiancee and I are no longer together, it's hard to enjoy the room as much as I want to. I always end up thinking about her."  

     Could this just be a phase that Kooluris is going through? I mean, once this whole arcade thing runs it's course, will he want his fiancee back? After all, when you're in your 30s, friends do start to disappear and start having families of their own. Will he be kicking himself in the ass if and when that happens? I'm curious to see what happens to Kooluris in a few years. I wouldn't be telling you the truth if I didn't say that I'm also curious to see his bedroom arcade, either! The place is probably like a museum. If you want to play in his arcade, you can email him at bedroomarcadenyc@gmail.com.  

WEEKEND AT BONNIE'S?

     This is a pretty disturbing story. Many of you might remember the 80s flick, Weekend at Bernie's, right? It's about two guys going to their boss's summerhouse for a party and the boss ends up dead, but the two guys don't want to let anyone know that he's dead, so they would prop his corpse up in any way that they can depending on the situation. Well, that kind of sort of happened to this Detroit man. 

     This is Ray Tomlinson and he says that love drove him to road-trip across the country with his girlfriend's corpse in the passenger seat. Yes, that's pretty sick! Tomlinson arrived in back in Michigan on Monday night after driving from Arizona with his 93-year-old mother and his dead girlfriend. His 31-year-old girlfriend died during the road-trip. Determined not to leave her body alone in a hospital and convinced that he had 48 hours to report her death, Tomlinson decided to keep driving and her home to Michigan. He claims, "I cared too much for her."

     Police have not determined a cause of death yet, but said that it could have been a drug overdoes because she was found with an empty bottle of OxyContin. Tomlinson has not been charged with anything and foul play is not suspected. 62-year-old, Tomlinson said that he met the woman, who was homeless, last year while she waited for her boyfriend to get out of prison. He helped her get back on her feet and he let her stay with him. Then, Tomlinson said that he went to Arizona with his mom for the winter and the girl met him there, where they became a couple. The woman was apparently hospitalized at least nine times in Arizona for mental health and drug problems. The couple left to head back to Michigan with Tomlinson's mother after the woman was released from a facility with several drug prescriptions, including one of the Oxys. Then, somewhere in Oklahoma or Texas, the woman was said to have died. 

      Tomlinson was determined to make it back to Michigan, even after an employee from the Arizona hospital learned about what happened when she called to check on her. Tomlinson answered the call, explained the situation and said he'd contact police when he got home. What the hell? By the time, he made it to Michigan, the body had already begun to decompose. Tomlinson told officers that he thought he had 48 hours to report the death. I don't know about you, but I don't even like going to funerals and having to be in a room with a corpse, let alone drive 48 hours with one next to me in the passenger seat. What the hell is wrong with people. I mean, he and his mom had to have stopped for food. What'd they do? Put a blanket over her when they went into a restaurant? Or did they leave her in the car and let people believe she was just sleeping in the passenger seat. The whole thing just sounds so messed up. Also, aren't dead bodies supposed to be put on ice so they don't decompose? 

     Anyway, Tomlinson admitted that he could have done things differently, but was overcome with denial and grief after her death. He says, "I just lost a very close friend." Yeah, and you're sick in the head too! Who in their right mind would drive the width of the United States with a dead body next to them in the passenger seat? I'll tell you who! NOT ME! Sicko!

SHE RAPED HIM?......COME ON!

     With all of the teacher banging students links that I get a day now, I figured I'd finally oblige since I find this one was a little odd. It turns out; this Queens gym teacher (in the middle) is being accused of raping a student wrestler and then having a year-long affair with him and also bedding a second student. Um, what? She raped a 16-year-old boy? So, to me, rape means forcing sex on someone who doesn't want it. Are we supposed to believe that he didn't want it? Was he trying to push her off every time she tried to touch his longfellow? The best part is they had a year-long affair! Did she rape him for a whole year? Come on! It was obviously consensual and someone's feelings are hurt now. That's if any banging was even done at all!

     Hours after Joy Morsi, 39, from Massapequa, Long Island, pleaded not guilty to charges of raping the Grover Cleveland High School student, additional charges were expected after a second student lover came forward. The relationship with the wrestler at the Ridgewood school began in June 2013, when Morsi began trying to help him lose weight. This is when she allegedly abandoned her role as mentor and emailed the boy asking if he was a virgin. She also allegedly sent him raunchy selfies of herself. On June 5 of last year, Morsi lured the alleged victim into a "secluded closet" in the school gym where the two had a sexual encounter. I still don't hear anything about the boy fighting her off. For the next six weeks, 20 to 30 more encounters occurred, including hookups in her car. Okay so it went on for six weeks and they are still calling this rape? I mean I get the underage thing, but it seemed like the boy wanted it just as bad as she did. How is the boy not any fault at all and why is he giving up all this info on her? He had sex with a hot and horny gym teacher for a year! I don't get kids today!

     Morsi is being accused of sexually preying upon one of her students during rendezvous all over the school. The student turned 17 during the nearly year-long tryst, which makes all alleged encounters legal. The moron...I mean victim alerted authorities two weeks ago after Morsi became jealous when he scored a prom date. Is it at all possible that this kid is making it up so he can get this teacher out of the way because maybe she did show signs of jealousy, but maybe they never even had sex? Is it possible that the teacher maybe just had a crush on the student and the jealousy came out, so the student drummed up a scenario like this since there are so many "I had sex with my teacher" stories? Just something to think about.

     The stone-faced teacher did not comment after being ordered held on $25,000 bail. She is facing charges of third-degree rape, third-degree criminal sexual act and one count of endangering the welfare of a child. Details about the second student were not available, but I bet the two boys were friends. Mark my words!  Morsi's husband, Hany, attended the hearing but did not accompany her as she left the courtroom. He teaches science at the same school. Students at the school said rumors had been swirling about Morsi and the student because they were always seen together, but they never touched each other sexually in public except for the occasional hug in the hallway. 

     Morsi's attorney said that she would fight this case. She said, "My client's ties to the community have been verified. Her husband is here. She has a family and children. She's very likely to see this through." Morsi started working as a gym teacher in 1999 and has a clean discipline record and earns $79,000 a year, according to public records. She has since been suspended from her teaching post and if convicted, Morsi faces up to four years in prison. 

     Okay, if this kid made this up, what a douchebag he is to ruin a woman's reputation and her family. If he is telling the truth, what a douchebag he is for saying anything at all! Dude! You banged your hot teacher for a year! SHUT YOUR MOUTH! Kids today are so dumb! If I was back in school, man, I would having a field day right now! Who knew teachers were so damn horny?

OPERATION ASIAN EYES....WHY?

     All I can ask is why? When I was younger, I always hoped that my eyes weren't as small as most Asians and now people actually want to have operations to make their eyes as small as Asians. What is wrong with this world? My fiancee has a friend, whom we traveled to Shanghai with, and she is infatuated with the Asian culture. She's a Hungarian woman who loves anything Asian from the men to the food to even the martial arts. We often joked with her about having an operation on her eyes to make her look more Asian like me. That's why when I read this story, I literally almost fell off of my chair. 

     It turns out; Brazilian man  had hyaluronic acid injected into his eyes to make himself look Asian. WHAT? More like WHY? 25-year-old, Xiahn Nishi, who previously went by the name Max, studied in South Korea and loved the culture so much that he decided to alter his eyes to reflect that. WHY? If he wanted to reflect something, he should have gotten a tattoo or something! Why go from full screen to wide screen? It makes no sense! Anyway, he found a doctor to permanently close the inner corners of his eyes and inject the acid, which is often used in cosmetic procedures, to plump them up. Nishi, allegedly, went through 10 procedures to get this look. What a moron!

     Nishi, a former model, said, "Most people change their natural look every day with makeup. It's the same thing with plastic surgery. If someone uses makeup they cannot say anything about plastic surgery." Whatever! Across Asia, it's common for women to get plastic surgery to "Westernize" their appearance, where they opt for the double eyelid surgery (don't tell my sister that! hee hee!), chin implants and other procedures. Nishi is the first patient that we've heard of to undergo this opposite type of surgery. 

     Despite the permanent eyelid-closing procedure, the acid in Nishi's eyes will only last a couple years. He admitted that he is not sure yet if he will repeat the injections. Nishi also said that he he hasn't modeled in 10 years, but has been approached by a South American company that sells Asian-styled clothes to get back in the game. He has also been approached by more than a thousand people who want to copy his look. I don't get it! WHY? I had my balls busted when I was growing up because of these eyes! Why would anyone want them? I'm comfortable with them now and yes, the ballbusting has stopped, but WHY?

     Nishi, still, insists that he's not trying to become Asian. He says, "I don't see myself like an Asian. I think I'm something in between." What the hell does that mean? Dude, you're Brazilian who is a "wannabe" for God knows whatever reason! You changed your name to an Asian name, your eyes look Asian, and I'm sure you eat Asian food! You're just a "wannabe"! Just like all of those white kids who try to dress like black rappers = "wannabes." I just don't get it!

DO YOUR CO-WORKERS HATE YOU?

     As kids graduate college and enter the real world landing corporate jobs, they will soon realize that corporate America is not what it's cracked up to be. I mean to be brutally honest, anyone who works a corporate job is an absolute phony! There I said it. When I graduated with a second bachelor's degree a couple of weeks ago from Rowan University, I noticed the excitement in these kid's faces. The excitement was of promise in their future. What they didn't realize is that the people they will be facing in their future will absolutely dislike them behind their backs and be really nice to them to their faces. Or in some cases, they will just bully them until they want to quit or are fired. 

     A new research shows half of workers in large companies don't like their coworkers. Figures from office space provider Regus show 49 percent of people in companies with more than 250 staff don't really like their coworkers. It's significantly more than the 16 percent of people in companies with less than 49 staff who admitted to disliking their colleagues. The top reasons for disliking coworkers included having a poor work ethic, unable to do their job, and overpowering and controlling. Employees also didn't like colleagues when they were perceived as being too precious to work hard, while small business workers detested colleagues who were difficult to manage.

      Well, I hate to say it, but this happens everywhere. I have a little story that has to deal with coworkers who hate and it's not a good one. Someone very close to me (it's not me) has been dealing with corporate bullying and jealous coworkers for the past five years. They picked up and moved for this job from another state, only to be sexually harassed, verbally abused and threatened on a daily basis. This person only reported to the Human Resources department once about the verbal abuse, but realizing that HR was willing to do nothing about it, this person decided to keep their mouth shut about everything else and chose not to cause any waves because they did not want to lose their job since they had bills and a mortgage to pay. So, they continued to endure the abuse. To make a long story short, this person was eventually fired from their position because of false claims and now the company is trying to sue them for every penny them have on many false claims. I feel terrible for this person and it is pretty apparent that the people who were bullying them in the work place continue to bully them even after they've been fired. I mean seriously. Enough is enough! 

     The bottom line is that people are evil. You can work anywhere and you can be really good at your job, but there will be someone there who is super jealous of you. Not everyone is going to like you and if you feel uncomfortable in a position because you think coworkers don't like you, then leave. That company is not worth your talents. There's a company out there that is worthy of it. I hope my friend gets through this. They are really good people and worst of all they are trying to get married, which this company knows making them seem more evil! Corporate bullies, they're never happy until someone's dead. Douchebags! Did I just make this blog too personal? I was going somewhere with this.....I swear!