Can it be that after all these years, one of my dreams has finally become a reality in New York City? A sex spa? Well, kind of. You see, the Spa Castle in Queens has been billed as a sprawling, 22-pool Disneyland of soaks and steams, but some patrons have kept this place anything, but Disney-oriented.
Apparently, on Sunday mornings, an army of exotic dancers getting off their Saturday night shifts descend on the complex, and allegedly, it isn't to do laps in the pool. One employee told the New York Post, "We open at 6 a.m. and lots of strippers come here after work to unwind. There's lots of skinny-dipping and the girls are making out with each other and partying. It looks like the set of a porn movie." That is hilarious!
After doing some investigating of their own, the New York Post found patrons in their birthday suits , groping each other, making out and having what appeared to be underwater sex, on two different occasions. Last weekend, the clientele ranged from toddlers to octogenarians, but that did not stop a group a five heavily tattooed twenty-somethings from engaging in splashy sexcapades in the 2-foot-deep, heated wading pool on the second floor.
House music pulsing, one of the women stripped naked and cheerfully played with her breasts while a woman in a yellow-fringed bikini and a man looked on. A few minutes later, the nude woman stood in front of the seated man while her hand jerked in and out of the water. Another couple made out a few feet away. It was not even 9 a.m. yet.
One staffer said, "There is a big problem with customers having sex in the pools, and the management doesn't know how to handle it. Practically every day, couples are caught having sex in the indoor and outdoor pools. They think they are being sly about it, but they're not. When you see somebody on someone's lap bouncing up and down and the jets aren't turned on, you know what's happening." Um, ew! Can you imagine your kid swimming in this pool and accidentally swallowing some of that jizzed up pool water? I literally just gagged.
The Spa Castle in College Point is the brain-child of South Korea native Steve Chon, who built the spa in 2005. Today, it is New York City's largest spa, with 300,000 annual visitors and sales of more than $20 million in recent years. He opened a second Spa Castle in Texas in 2012 and a third spot on East 57th Street in Manhattan in 2014. The $25 million, 100,000-square-foot complex offers 21 spa pools, a wading pool, hydrotherapy baths, high-tech steam rooms, 10 gold-tiled saunas and services like facials and body wraps.
City law states that "no establishment shall make facilities available for the purpose of sexual activities" and that "such facilities shall constitute a threat to the public health." Between 2014 and 2015, the Health Department cited City Spa for 49 violations, including failure to post signs prohibiting discharge of bodily fluids in pools. The Spa Castle was closed down recently for not following safety standards.
Like I said, this place is not what it really sounds like. It's not really a sex spa. It's technically a spa with pools. It's just that it's patrons are treating it like it was The Vault! Only my 40s crowd of readers from the NYC area will get that reference.