M.I.L.F. - MOTHER I'D LOVE TO.....WAIT, THAT'S MY MOM!

     Incest is best, but your mother to the test? No, this didn't happen in Florida, but close. Welcome to North Carolina! If you've ever seen a Taboo porno from the 70s, this blog might even turn you on. I mean this lady was no Kay Parker or Nina Hartley, but you get the point. I have to be honest, I don't even get the point.

     This is 44-year-old, Melissa "Missy" Kitchens and her 25-year-old son, Shaun Thomas Pfeiffer, from North Carolina. Both were arrested for having sex with each other and now face felony charges of incest. Incest is a felony charge? Who knew? Kitchens was arrested last week on September 7 and her son, from Weaverville, NC, was arrested a day later. 

     According to the arrest documents, the mother and son had sex in August. Pfeiffer, who is self-employed, also faces charges of indecent liberties with a child, communicating threats and being intoxicated and disruptive. His Facebook page shows that he is the father of a baby boy. Pfeiffer, apparently, lives with both his mother and his wife Shannon Roman. He appears to have posted a photo of his mother online as recently as last month. It is unclear whether Kitchens is married or not. It is also unclear how the allegations came to light. Um, how about a scorned wife who caught the two getting it on? 

     In one comment of a photo with Pfeiffer and his son, Kitchens wrote: "Can't get over how handsome you are." She also hinted to family drama in the long-winded comment. She wrote: "Just trying to Brighten The Mood---Things are Very Stressful and I Love You and I Respect Any Decision---As Long as your Happy and Safe.......I miss you& wish I had more time w you.....Your Very Valuable and Hopefully The Stresses---Will get better." I think someone needs to go back to school and learn how to write. Someone (Kitchens) apparently never learned when to capitalize letters and punctuate. 

     Pfeiffer's wife, Shannon Roman, also took to Facebook last month, sharing a post that said: "When you truly care for someone, their mistakes never change your feelings because it's the mind that gets angry, but the heart still cares." So, it sounds like she's forgiven her husband for banging his mom, but I can almost guarantee that she was also the one who leaked to the police that her husband was laying the pipe to him mom. Just sayin'!

     According to the Buncombe County Jail's website, Pfeiffer is being held on $70,500 bail, while his mom is being held on $30,000. Their next court dates are September 29 and 30. Incest in North Carolina carries a sentence of between 10-41 months in prison. You see the rack on that mom, though? I would have tried breastfeeding on those yam bags until I was at least 21! How is that incest if I was just breastfeeding? I needed my nourishment. Okay, this is getting out of hand. I'll stop now. This is disgusting!