WOULD YOU LIKE CREAM IN YOUR COFFEE?

     My apologies to those of you who actually read my rambling everyday. This short week has really thrown me off my game, so I will have to make it up to you on a Friday with an out of the park blog. I wish I could tell you about my interview with the Black Veil Brides in today's blog because it got pretty raunchy, but I will leave the interview to be read on TheAquarian.com, which is where I am also a staff writer. Look for that story in November. Anyway, here's your out of the park blog, thank you to my fellow co-worker Peter Tran for this story and if I ever found out that you did this to any of us when you brought Dunkin Donuts in for the morning show, Peter; somebody is going to be in big trouble!

     So, a Minnesota hardware store employee has been arrested after he admitted to repeatedly ejaculating on a coworker's desk and into her coffee in an attempt to get her to notice him because he was attracted to her. Yup! That's exactly the way, I would've tried to get her attention. I mean he got her attention. The question is did she feel attracted to him after he got her attention? The answer is NO. 

     34-year-old John R. Lind told police that he blew is load in the woman's coffee cup twice since February, and finished on her desk another four times, using one of her scrunchies to wipe up the mess. That is hilarious! I'm sorry. Yes, this is really gross, but I can't help to laugh about it. According to police, Lind told them that he knew his actions were "gross and wrong."

      The co-worker did eventually notice Lind after she caught him at her desk with his hands on his crotch. She told police that he turned around and looked at her like "a deer in headlights." He to cover up by telling her he'd just come in to ask her a question, but the gross evidence was too damning and so was the solid woody between them. According to another story, the worker told police she inspected her desk and found jizz on the surface, dripping onto the floor. A lot of it had been absorbed into her hair scrunchy, which she put into a plastic bag. When they finally arrived at the scene, officers collected her coffee mug, coffee and scrunchy. I am dying over here as I write this!

     The co-worker also said Lind had approached her with his zipper down many times and that she was considering reporting him for harassment. Lind now faces two counts of criminal sexual conduct with the possibility of a year in jail and a $4,500 fine. The co-worker also told police she had noticed her coffee tasted strange recently, more than just two times since February. She said she'd had the tasted in her mouth before, but couldn't pinpoint it. (Okay, I made that part up!) Initially, she just suspected spoiled cream. After they told her what Lind admitted too, she said, "I knew it." Well, she was right! It was spoiled cream, but after police told her what it was, "I knew it" was her initial reaction? Is that weird to anybody? My initial reaction would have been to vomit all over the place. Either way, this story was hilarious! Thank you, Peter Tran!