URINE SOME DEEP S**T!

     When you're a tourist, you never know what you're going to get from the natives or who you can even trust when you're visiting a foreign land. Last week, my new bride and I were in St. Lucia and the natives were asking her to try their rum. Luckily, the natives in St. Lucia know that the majority of their income comes from tourism, so most of them would not mess with that. So, the rum that she tasted was actually rum. 

     If we were visiting the Blackpool area of England, we wouldn't have been as lucky. You see, this British con man sold bogus bottles of booze that were actually just water laced with urine and human waste (otherwise known as shit!) His name is Nicholas Stewart and he told tourists visiting Blackpool that the one-liter bottles he was selling for a bargain $15 were only filled with a new concoction of Jack Daniel's whiskey and Smirnoff vodka. First of all, ew! Second of all, the bottles were, in fact, filled with pee and excrement, making that a double ew!

     The 35-year-old was arrested and pleaded guilty to fraud at Blackpool Magistrates' Court on Friday. Prosecutor Victoria Cartmell said that the lab tests proved that the bottles contained no alcohol at all. She said, "They were purported to contain whiskey and vodka, but were water laced with urine and feces, probably to give the so-called whiskey color. They were totally unsuitable for public consumption. They were hazardous and contained dangerous E. coli bacteria."

     Stewart ended up getting a 70-day jail term suspended for 12 months. Prosecutors are now trying to prevent him from selling anything in the Blackpool area and have applied to subject him to a Criminal Anti-Social Behavior Order. To be honest, Stewart is getting away with no real punishment at all. He tried to sell people piss and shit as a drink for crying out loud. That would not fly here in America. At least I hope that it wouldn't. It also scares me to know that their are some really sick people out there. I mean, what if St. Lucians hated tourists? My wife would have drank this same concoction after being told it was rum. Like I said, we got lucky that those islanders really rely on tourists to live. The lesson here is to be careful when you travel and trust no one!