"HE" WAS SEMEN JACKED!

     My favorite stories this week have come from my buds. I didn't even have to do any research to write my blogs this week. And by the way, don't post awesome stories on my Facebook page. How am I supposed to write about them if you already posted it on my page? Send them to me in a private message. Today's story comes from my bud, Hector Castro and it's a great one that belongs in the "Why doesn't this crap ever happen to me?" category.

     Anyway, a man in South Africa was recently kidnapped at gunpoint and raped by three women who collected his semen in a cooler and stole it before abandoning their victim. Yup! He was raped for his sperm. Does that technically count as a foursome? I can just picture it, "Oh, don't touch me there! Hey, don't put that in there! Stop stroking it like that!" Much to my surprise, this method is part of a growing trend. I guess that means my brothers better read this blog as a warning so you don't get "JACKED!" 

     The 33-year-old man gave the women directions when they pulled up in a black BMW. Suddenly, one of the women armed with a gun got out and forced him into the back of the car at gunpoint. The three then drove the man almost 300 miles from where he was and fondled him in the back of the car, but he did not become aroused, so they forced him to drink some "unknown substance" from a bottle to help out his shortcomings. The guy was probably scared out of his mind. Then again, having three women fondle you with a gun to your head should have done the trick. It would have for me. Just sayin'. 

     As I was saying; once he became aroused, that's when the fun started and the women raped the poor guy repeatedly and collected his semen in plastic bags and then placing them in coolers. I'm sure these women didn't look as hot as we're envisioning, which makes this story pretty messed up. Again, I say, "The poor guy."

     The man was then kicked out of the car almost 300 miles from where they picked him up in the Kwazakhele township of Port Elizabeth in South Africa, while the women made off with his stolen jizz. The exact same method is being used by women in Gauteng, South Africa, who are also forcing men to drink from a bottle and stealing their semen, but no arrests have been made. Police, who have now opened a rape investigation, have said, "This is really confusing to us because we have never heard of such a thing before. The man was fully conscious throughout his ordeal and he is still traumatized."

     I have no idea what to even make of this. All I know is that if three women held me at gunpoint, I tell them to put the gun down. It's unnecessary. Just take whatever you need from me and then drop me off wherever when you're done. I mean, seriously, if you want my sperm that bad, just have at it. These women must have been pretty beastly for this guy to be this traumatized. This story was great though! Thanks again, Hector! And be careful out there, fellas!