TALLYWACKERS? YEAH, NO THANKS!

     

So, Hooters was always an awesome place for its wings, beers, sports and breasts (whichever way you want to take that). And it was no secret, Hooters was a place for guys. Normally, you wouldn't take a date there, even though, I do remember my cousin bringing my aunt there one time for the wings. That was a little odd.

     Anyway, Hooters may have met its match, for the ladies that is. An all-male Hooters inspired restaurant, which will probably have an endless supply of franks and beans jokes, is planning to open next month in Dallas. The eatery named Tallywackers, which will include alcohol and 6-packs, could open in the city's gayborhood section on May 9, according to owner Rodney Duke. 

     Duke told the Kidd Kraddick Morning Show he pondered the idea for 10 years why there wasn't a male equivalent of this type of breastaurant eatery where women are dressed in skimpy and revealing clothing. He said, "I just decided one day, 'let's just do it!' There's not anything like it anywhere and sure enough here we are opening next month."

     The restaurant will hire attractive men with pleasing physiques, but will make some modifications from the business plan of places like Hooters that cater to a limited adult male audience. Besides the male employee, one area that will set them apart will be the menu, which will include comfort food like all types of weiners (kidding!), pasta and even a kids' menu "just in case." Um, what? Yeah, this place seems totally kids-friendly! What will they serve the kids? Pigs in a blanket?

     Customers who walk in will also be able to choose which servers' section they want to sit in. And along with major sporting events, they will host parties for happenings like the Academy Awards. I hate this place already! The company has placed advertisements on its Facebook page featuring shirtless models, but attire for the employees are still being designed, according to Duke. He added that it will probably include a tight red T-shirt and boxer-briefs. Shirtless would not work because chest hair is against the health code. Duke said, "We want to hire a wide variety of men. Everyone has a different type." 


     Duke dodged some of the easy jokes like if the business had a firm opening or will they be serving cucumber salad, but he did admit there is a spicy burger on the menu named "the flamer." So what? Tallywackers spokesman Winston Lackey says, "The establishment will be fun, respectable environment, of course with a little eye candy." Yeah, if you're a girl or if you're homosexual! Not that there's anything wrong with that at all! I have many gay friends and I'm happy to see a place like this for them, but you'll never find me in one.....Unless, I really have to be there....Like if my wife made me! Yeah, right!

     The word "tallywackers" originates from the employee whose job it was to count cattle when it was herded into the pen, but now the word is used as slang for the male sexual organ. There has been a lot of anticipation for this eatery to open its doors, which I still can't understand. Lackey said he expects a diverse group of people will be checking everything out when it opens. He said, "We've had all walks of life interested and we well welcome them all." Okay, here's where I stand on this. My wife has come with me to Hooters for a sporting event and we had fun, but if she thinks I'm ever going to a place called Tallywackers, she's got another thing coming. That's a big "HELL NO!"