DR. FRANKENPENIS

     I wanted to start today's blog off by saying that I hope we never see what happened to that reporter and cameraman in Roanoke, VA live on TV ever again. That was pretty disturbing and my heart goes out to their families. When reporters are out in the field like that every day, they are certainly in harms way. Unfortunately, in this case, it was a disgruntled former employee, who actually filmed a point-of-view version of the shooting and posted it before he offed himself. It just goes to show you how sick we are becoming as a society and it's sad. 

     That being said, if you're in the market for a penis enlargement (which for the record, I am not), I wouldn't hire these two idiots. They are two unlicensed doctors from Miami, who are facing charges for performing botched surgeries on a man's penis leaving it mutilated. Don't worry. You can read forward. I have no pictures of the mutilated penis...yet! 

     A Miami judge charged 48-year-old Nery Carvajal-Gonzalez for unlicensed health care causing serious injury. She was arrested this week after landing at Miami International Airport and is being held on $100,000 bond. Carvajal-Gonzalez allegedly operated on her victim, an unnamed 55-year-old hair stylist, several times before she performed the bungled penis enlargement. She gave the man cosmetic facials and injected filler into his buttocks to enhance their shape. The victim paid Carvajal-Gonzalez $2500 for the butt injection and though, investigators said, "there was a hole in his buttocks that fluid was leaking from," the man decided to go forward with the penis enlargement surgery anyway. So, wait! This chick screws up one procedure on you and you ask her to perform another? I'm not sure that this is entirely her fault then. 

     In February, Carvajal-Gonzalez allegedly put an implant in the man's penis to make it longer and thicker, but the fillers she used, permanently disfigured the man. According to the warrant, the man's penis was now incredibly small, yet very swollen and the skin around the shaft had been removed and was raw. Um, I'm kind of glad there are no photos of this Frankenpenis on the internet anywhere...yet!

     The man was desperate for a repair of the botched surgery that Carvajal-Gonzalez took him to meet Mark Schreiber, a fake doctor known as "Dr. Mark," at a warehouse in Hialeah, Florida. Schreiber had already spent two years in jail back in 2008 for performing unlicensed plastic surgeries. The man reportedly paid Schreiber $1000 to get Carvajal-Gonzalez's implant removed. After the procedure, the man removed his bandages to find that his penis had been mutilated even further than it already was. The man asked Schreiber about it, who responded that the look was normal and then stopped answering the man's phone calls.

     Schreiber was picked up earlier this month and charged with unlicensed health care causing serious injury. He's reportedly being held without bond. The victim says he's permanently disfigured and can't have sex. He also feels no sensation when he urinates and suffers from painful "spontaneous erections." Ouch! Well, I wish I knew who this guy was because I know of a guy who now has a bionic penis after his penis was mutilated when he was 6. (blog from two days ago reference.) I'd love to introduce him to that doctor. People are so messed up! It's sad.