OPERATION DUMBO DROP COFFEE

     I know that I wrote about this last year, but apparently, it's come to fruition. If you remember (or not), I wrote about an Asian country that was planning on growing coffee beans in elephant dung. Well, in the lush, green hills of northern Thailand, a woman can be seen painstakingly picking coffee beans out of a pile of elephant crap, which is what she needs to do to make one of the world's most expensive beverages. 

     This remote corner of Thailand bordering Myanmar and Laos is better known for their drug smuggling than coffee, but Blake Dinkin decided it was perfect for a legitimate enterprise that blends conservation with business. That's one way to look at it. Dinkin, the 44-year-old Canadian founder of Black Ivory Coffee, said, "When I explained my project to the mahouts (elephant riders), I know that they thought I was crazy." Dinkin's coffee uses the digestive tract of elephants to create a high-end brew for coffee connoisseurs.

     The original idea was to use civet cats to make "kopi luwak" coffee, which uses beans collected from the droppings of Asian cats, but the quality of the end product was weakened as demand had grown in Southeast Asia, including Thailand, Indonesia and Vietnam. Civet cats are also often kept in cages and force-fed beans, which is different than what Dinkin's had in mind with his desire to support rather than damage the environment. 

     Lions and giraffes also made the shortlist of prospective coffee filters, but Dinkins settled on elephants after discovering that the creatures sometimes eat coffee during periods of drought in Southeast Asia. Dinkin also teamed up with an elephant rescue charity which saves the creatures from the tourist trade, but making coffee from their poop was harder than expected. He said, "I thought it would as simple as taking the beans, giving them to the elephant, and out will come great coffee." He also added that the initial result tasted like "shit" (no pun intended) and was undrinkable. Dinkin said, "It took me another nine years to actually succeed in doing what I wanted." 

     Apparently, the enzymes in the elephant's stomach function as a kind of slow cooker, he said, where the coffee beans marinate alongside the herbs and fruits the animals also eat. The beans work their way through the elephants digestive tract, which is a 17-hour process. The digestive acid takes the bitterness out of the bean. The mahouts' wives collect the coffee beans from the elephant dung, before washing and drying them in the sun, a division of labor that is helping boost the local community's income. To make slightly more than two-pounds of coffee, the elephants have to consume around 78 pounds of beans, along with their usual ration of rice and bananas. 

     The rarity of the drink is a key part of its branding. This year, their third successful harvest, Black Ivory produced 150 kilograms of coffee. At around $13 for an espresso-sized cup, it does not come cheap. Black Ivory coffee will soon be available at high-end establishments in Paris, Zurich, Copenhagen and Moscow. 

     I don't know. My wife and I love a good coffee and I even love a good poop, but if you ask me, they just don't go hand-in-hand. I mean, if it's helping the environment and creating jobs in Thailand? Then why not? I'm all for it! But as far as drinking coffee that is grown in elephant poop? Um, no thanks!