HE BROKE HIS WHAT?

     How do I start this story off? So, a bunch of years ago, my guitar player told me a story about a friend who fractured his penis during sex. I would cringe every time he told the story and would assure my little friend that would never happen to him. My guitar player would tell us that the guy's girlfriend would be on top and she landed on his erect penis the wrong way and the thing just SNAPPED in half. I know, right? Part of me never believed the story because how is that even possible? 

     Well, it is possible. A 42-year-old man was rushed to a Boston hospital after breaking his penis during sex. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the excruciating ordeal began when the man missed his mark and slammed his manhood into his partner's crotch, just below the genitalia. Wait does that mean he slammed it into his or her Taint? The errant stroke was accompanied by a sickening "SNAP" as he fractured his tunica albuginea, the watertight, fibrous sheath that surrounds the double-barreled structure that stiffens during an erection.

     Blood flooded the man's penis, turning it a gross purple, a graphic photo of the damage showed in the article. According to the journal, "The classic eggplant deformity (swelling, discoloration, and deviation away from the defect in the tunica) can be seen. All I can say is "Ouch!" and "Ew!" Doctors took one look at the man and whisked him into emergency surgery. How do doctors not laugh when they see stuff like that? If I was a doctor, I would be calling all other doctors in to take a look at the guy's mishap for a good laugh. I guess it was probably best that I never became a doctor. 

     Lucky for the man, they made a successful repair. Long-term effects would include erectile dysfunction and disfigurement from plaque along with a curved member and nerve problems. Doctors say the man seems to have recovered. His three-month and six-month check-ups revealed he's able to get an erection and doesn't have any plaque or curvature. So, wait! I guess this breakage must've happened six months ago, but the story must have come out recently. I guess my only question is how did they find out he was able to get an erection? Did they give him a handjob on the exam table? Did they look closely for plaque? That examination must have been nerve-racking for the guy. I guess the only thing I learned from this story was that my guitar player was right. A man's penis can really be broken during sex!