BLUETOOTH THAT CLIT WITH ORGASMIA

     So, I recently had a conversation with a friend who revealed to me that she masturbates when she drives her car. I was totally blown away by this new revelation, but soon learned that my friend was not alone in this traffic fantasy. In fact, many women do and if you don't maybe it's time to start having some fun with yourself while you drive. 

     Oh, do you need a hands-free device to be able to do that? Well, never fear, Fun Factory is here! So, apparently, Fun Factory Founder and CEO Dirk Bauer and a team of German doctors have developed a V-shaped, blue-tooth controlled implant that sits against the clitoral legs, stimulating the clitoris's inner structure. One of Beverly Hills plastic surgeons is currently the only one offering this procedure in the United States at this time, but Fun Factory hopes to make it more widely available in the near future. By the way, Fun Factory is a sex toy company. 

     Orgasmia, as it is being called, emits a mild, silent vibration that targets the entire clitoris, not just the glans. The device can be used on its own for hands-free orgasms, to enhance the experience of sex with a partner, or to address a variety of sexual complaints including unsatisfying intercourse, extended separation from a partner, or even lack of time for sex. Who the hell doesn't have time for sex? You always make time for that! Even better than the long-awaited "female Viagra," Orgasmia gives women control over their arousal and pleasure. Does this mean women won't need us anymore? Maybe this isn't such a great idea!

      Orgasmia's motor nestles against the pelvis and users report that they stop noticing it after only 3 to 4 days of use. Inspired by the design of Thermal Electric watches, the device automatically recharges using body heat. Now, that's pretty cool! As with all Fun Factory products, Orgasmia is encased in medical grade silicone. While the implant can be synced to respond to remote commands from a number of electronic devices including many smartphones, Fun Factory also offers a variety of discreet remote controls designed to look like rings, wristwatches, necklaces and more. I'm not sure how I feel about that! Can you imagine having that thing in you and your niece or nephew gets a hold of your smartphone or say one of the remotes malfunctions. Man, you better hold onto something because it's going to be a really wild ride!

     Orgasmia is implanted in a reversible outpatient procedure. The motor comes with a 20-year guarantee; after that, the company will cover half the cost of replacements or upgrades. Oh, thank God! All-in with the procedure, Orgasmia can run you about $6500. Yeah, no thanks! I'm pretty confident in my skills that my wife won't be needing this, but for those of you who might need this? Have at it! We don't judge here! We might see a rise in women car accidents though! Just saying....