A woman in Racine, Wisconsin was returning items to a local Kmart when she was accused of leaving something behind that wasn't on her receipt. You guessed it! A big pile of her own steaming poop! 49-year-old, Melissa Jacobson was arrested on Monday after she allegedly snuck behind a store cash register and crapped in a box of security tags. I don't get it. Why did she get arrested for that? Maybe she had to go really bad and couldn't make it to the bathroom. Sometimes when you have to go, you have to go! I even wrote a book about it called S**T Happens, which is available on Amazon.com. I made it easy for you. Just click on the book title.
Oh, yeah! Back to the story! So, security footage showed a woman, who authorities later identified as Jacobson, answering nature's call around 10:22 am. The footage also showed her reaching for paper towels beneath the counter when she was done. Then she went back to the customer service desk. I absolutely love this story because I can totally relate, but you'd have to buy my book to find out how relatable this story is. Anyway, Jacobson completed her return and exited the retailer. Here's the best part; according to the footage, Jacobson was wearing a shirt with a dump truck on it and the phrase, "dropping a load."
By 12:50 pm, employees started noticing the smell of poop around the register and discovered the "poo light special" left in the box, which was also soaked in piss. At that point, police officers were called to the scene. I'm sorry, but I am dying as I type this. One worker told investigators that Jacobson was a regular customer who "should know where the public restrooms are located." Another employee said the suspect did not appear to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol or in any special need to go to the bathroom.
Kmart employees gave officers Jacobson's address from the forms used when she returned merchandise. When they went to the house, they met a woman who identified herself as Melissa Jacobson and she was wearing the same pants, shoes and "dropping a load" t-shirt seen on the surveillance footage. Of course, she denied pooping in the box at Kmart, even after she was told about the footage. She even resisted the officers' attempts to take her into custody. Jacobson was eventually charged with three misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct, resisting an officer and obstructing an officer. She is free on $500 bond and is scheduled for an April 30 pre-trial conference, but the bond requires that she have no contact with Kmart.
Yes, I do think Jacobson did wrong by pooping in the box, but if that turtlehead was peeking out that much, sometimes you cannot make it to the bathroom. I believe she had two options; poop in the box like she did or poop in her pants and sit in it while she drove all the way home. The box sounds like a better option because she wasn't making it to any bathroom. I totally feel her pain here and I don't think she should have been arrested for this. Fined and banned from Kmart? Yes! But definitely not arrested. I do have a new story for my new book though now! Thank you, Melissa Jacobson!