NOW THIS IS MY TYPE OF FUNERAL!

     I know this is pretty morbid to think about, but when I was younger, my cousin and I would talk about our funerals if and when we died. We both agreed that we didn't want that traditional Chinese music playing in the background, nor did we want it to be silent. We wanted songs like Zeppelin's "Stairway To Heaven" or Metallica's "Fade to Black" playing in the background. Obviously, I opted for Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home." Then we would joke that Ozzy's "Suicide Solution" would really mess our loved ones up. Anyway, we were young and it was just silly intoxicated banter. 

     However, whenever we had these silly discussions, what a Taiwan woman did for her husband's funeral never came to mind. This is amazing for those in attendants, but not so amazing for the deceased. You see; a woman in Taiwan ordered strippers to perform at her husband's funeral as a final gift to her deceased life partner. My wife would never do this. Then again, you never know. 

      Two women dressed in white and knee-high boots (a typical stripper add-on) were hired to perform at the ceremony, which took place this past Sunday, performing what on-lookers described as a "coffin feather dance." The woman, identified only as Jane, said her husband loved beautiful women and arranged for these drop-dead gorgeous entertainers to surprise those in attendance. Surprise? Yeah, I think that would do the trick! The strippers performed for three songs during the ceremony, which unexpectedly featured dance music (not Metallica, Led Zeppelin, Motley Crue or Ozzy Osbourne) The performers disrobed from a towel revealing a tiny bikini, where they also gyrated around and on the coffin. It would have been hilarious if the deceased popped a boner. Come on! How can you not joke about this? The whole idea seems silly!

     The performance snapped a few people out of their grief as they began filming the peep show with their phones. Unfortunately, the service did conclude with a somber drumbeat as the attendees escorted the coffin to its final resting place. Apparently, exotic dances at funerals in Taiwan are not a strange occurrence. They date back to the 1980s and have ties to organized crime, which I doubt this guy was a part of. Maybe he was. Who knows? 

     In the Chinese culture, the more people who attend a funeral means the greater the honor for the deceased. I thought that was in any culture. I do remember hearing that the louder you cry at a Chinese funeral, it showed the amount of respect you had for that person. I remember when we were younger, we used to go to these funerals where our aunts, who were pretty old-school, would cry so loud, we would literally have to wear ear ear plugs. I'm not even kidding. Though some were offended by the stripper practice, it was a way for the family to send off their loved ones with a smile and in the Asian culture, how you send them off is extremely important. If his wife really wanted to send him off with a smile, she would have paid the strippers a little extra for what living and breathing men pay extra for. Okay, too far?